Editorial: Santa Baby, I Like Video Games

Hanukkah, Kwanza, Christmas, etc, the holiday season has reared its jolly head and now it is time for celebration. Of all the holiday icons there are like Minty the Candy Cane (that briefly fell on the ground) and Rue from “The Hunger Games,” the most famous one is easily Santa Claus. A fat man who rides around in a sleigh driven by reindeer giving gifts to children all over the world in just one night, a shining beacon of generosity. The same man who also did not value Rudolph’s difference from the other reindeer until he could exploit it for his own personal gain, hmph. This editorial will cover three different representations of Santa Claus in video games and how they differ, naughty OR nice!

First, but certainly not worst, would be the Santa Claus from that good ol’ SNES RPG from the 90’s: Secret of Mana. As the protagonist goes on his adventure he is stopped by Rudolph (yes, that same Rudolph), who informs the player that Santa has been kidnapped by a monster in the Ice Palace. So eventually the monster “introduces” itself as being Frost Gigas, and when the battle is over it is revealed that Frost Gigas was Santa Claus all along! Santa Claus explains that he became Frost Gigas because the kids just stopped believing in him and Christmas. In order to bring back the Christmas spirit, Santa then ventured out to find a mana seed in hopes that it would grow a gigantic Christmas tree, but instead it only made matters worse and turned him into a giant monster. As Santas goes, this one is not too bad but some may prefer their Santas to be a bit stronger and self-determined without needing to be rescued. Also they may prefer their Santas to be a little bit smarter, in fact, the previous statement of “first, but certainly not worst” may not actually apply because this probably is the worst Santa representation compared to the other Santas in this editorial.

Next up is actually Santa Claus’ evil twin, Sumo Santa from Clayfighter 63 ⅓, who is just absolutely disgusting. This Santa’s ultimate goal is to actually take over the North Pole from the real Santa Claus and can only do so by defeating Bad Mr. Frosty (an evil snowman). If Sumo Santa is able to defeat his enemies in Clayfighter 63 ⅓, he not only takes over the North Pole, but he also starts his plans for world domination. However, in ClayFighter: Sculptor’s Cut, Sumo Santa settles for just being charge of North Pole so he can give gifts to all the kids in Claydonia. But back to the whole “he looks disgusting” thing, Sumo Santa is straight up one of the grossest representations of Santa Claus in video games. Not only does he wear almost nothing, exposing his gigantic flabby body, but he also shoots his stomach out as an attack as if a xenomorph is inside of him, under his control. While all Santas should be fat, they should also probably keep their filthy bodies away from the kids because hot damn is he just hard to look at. But, at least this Santa is strong and determined unlike the previous incarnation who was just pathetic.

The last Santa Claus to cover might just be the best representation of Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick in video gaming history, and he comes from none other than Sam & Max Beyond Time and Space. On Sam and Max’s journey to purge a demon form the Earth, they find themselves at Santa’s workshop only to assume that Santa himself is the one who has been taken over by a demon due to the fact that he immediately starts shooting at anyone who moves. However, it turned out that it was actually one of the helpful elves who had a demon take over their bodies and Santa is just like that. In fact, most of the evils that occured in Sam & Max Beyond Time and Space can actually end up being attributed to a kind of extra-terrestrial mariachi band who took souls and transported them to Hell which was under new management at the time since Satan got kicked out. Overall, this is probably one of the best representations of Santa Claus there is just because he is so determined to the point that he will shoot literally anything that moves if it means he can not give gifts to the good boys and girls of the world. Not all Santas are brave enough to carry a piece on them, but this is a new breed of Santa. Merry Christmas, better Santa.

So that is it for this editorial, almost the last one of the year! Can you believe it has been over a year since I started writing editorials here? And they have only SLIGHTLY increased in readability. So who is your favorite Santa in video games? Do you agree that while the Santa in Secret of Mana means well he is ultimately weak? Make sure to leave a comment below and let us know what you think!