I am sick. Not super sick with like a horrible disease, but I have a pretty bad cold. That does not mean Lusipurr let me take this week off, no sir! In fact, he made me look for even WORSE Steam Greenlight games than I usually look up. He said something about it “strengthening my spirit” or something like that. What a hippy. As always these “reviews” are written without actually playing the “games” in question and with 100% bias.
What is even happening here?
This is one of those rare Steam Greenlight games that could actually be decent if it was made by a competent game studio and not posted to Steam Greenlight. Also, if it was not made using RPG Maker. According to the game’s description, this is some sort of coliseum-style RPG where the player creates their own team of heroes and fights their way up the ranks to become champion of various fighting leagues. The description also boosts weekly new, free content based off the comments of the players. Sounds like a pretty decent game, right? Too bad this is Steam Greenlight and the developer will give up on this “weekly” content within the first three months. Especially since they will soon realize the limitations of both their money and using RPG Maker. FYI to all would-be developers with games this complicated: do not try to make this one your own. Pitch your idea to an already established game company and take the money they give you. Possibly take a staff position, if one is offered. Get your name out there and THEN try to make a game like this on your own. Prove to the gaming community that you CAN do something like this. I would not be surprised if this game crashes and burns within the first couple months of its release.
Best Comment: Lavos: “wow! cool tipe Final Fnatasy 6-5-4” (I chose this one because I have no clue what they are trying to say.)
Very convenient that the “Exit Game” option is always right there at the top of the screen.
Play The Game – The Real Game Life Simulator
This is a simulator of playing video games. Yes, just in case you are not disconnected from the world enough! This game has the player play as many games as possible, so they can be crowned “The King of All Gamers.” The player does this by gaining money, buying new games, and playing as many as possible. The game’s description also notes that each game your in-game character plays will be a mini-game the player can play. Sounds fun, right? This reminds me a lot of Retro Game Challenge that game out on the Nintendo DS a few years ago. That was a pretty good game. This one, not so much. Why do I say this? Two reasons: Steam Greenlight and Unity Engine. Adding both those together instantly makes this a crappy game. Oh, and check out all these “features” in the game’s demo: “In order to see graphics of the game on TV, you have to turn on the TV and the game console, then connect them with a video cable. When you finish all of above, you can actually play a mini game.” Wow! What a great feature! Even though I could easily do that in real life without paying for this piece of crap game. What a joke.
Best Comment: Sheriff Narwhal: “yay another hilarious simulator game with that infamous “made with unity” splash screen”
This guy’s hands are constantly in that ‘Aliens!’ pose.
This is one of those games that makes fun of itself in its Greenlight description. it should be noted that this was apparently (badly) translated from Spanish. Let us enjoy that, shall we? “This game is about a soldier who survived a massive war of the powerful governments in the XXI century,…” Oh, you mean the twenty-first century we are in now? How exotic! “…waking up after a long time he realized he had strange subjects in the world called them the zekas.” So, is your character a king or some sort of royalty? That would be pretty important information to know from the beginning. Unless that is supposed to be a twist. “Maybe that’s not the question we must answer, but rather should be Where they come from?” Wait, what was our other choice to answer? I only see one question here. “,” I am not sure why this comma is here. “What are they?” Oh, HERE is the other question. Nevermind. “¿” A random Spanish question mark. “Survived more people?” I do not… I do not know what this means. “Are there more of your class?” Class? What class? Is your character in school? Again, information that would be nice to know from the start. “Will I survive?” Is the game developer now asking us if he/she will survive? Is the developer in any sort mortal danger? “Only it left in you to survive in this cruel world” Yes. Yes it is…? Also notice how there is not ending punctuation on that sentence. “This game is an in Development Game, with one people work” Again, no ending punctuation. However, we do now know that this game is, in fact, “one people work.” Whatever that is supposed to mean.
Best Comment: giles.haydon: “This looks like some sort Christian Rock simulator”
