Editorial: Mundane Activities That Demand Simulation

This might be seen as a controversial opinion to some, but there are a lot of video games in the world, and some people make them. Recently, a game known has Firewatch was created and released for both PC and PS4, and players have been describing it as a walking simulator that also has the inventive feature of being able to print out in-game screenshots and have them printed like photos. This description invites gamers to think of other mundane activities, such as walking, that need to be simulated so that others can experience them on their computer monitors. Keep in mind, Amazon also released a free 3D game engine, so the possibility of any of the following games getting made has just increased tenfold, at least that is what the boys in the lab have reported.

Most sane people do not willing subject themselves to watching a movie created by Tyler Perry, who happens to be famous for his character of Madea. The character of Madea being Perry in drag playing as a loud and constantly irate African-American woman who is physically abusive towards both her friends and family. Because of the fact that the correlation between readers of video game journalism and those who buy tickets to see Tyler Perry in theaters is at an all time low since 2008, it only makes sense to create a simulator of being held at gunpoint while watching a Tyler Perry movie. However, while Tyler Perry has made other movies outside of the Madea franchise, for the context of this editorial every single movie Tyler Perry has made stars Madea in some form or fashion. This does not change much though as the simulator would require the player to own and operate a piece of virtual reality equipment so they can truly immerse themselves as a gun can be seen pointed at their head with the slightest turn of either left or right, forcing them to watch as Tyler Perry makes fart jokes in woman’s clothing, unable to escape this seemingly eternal hell, which actually ends once the movie itself does. A suitable title for this game would be Being Forced To Watch A Tyler Perry Movie At Gunpoint Simulator 2016 as its evident a newer version would be eventually made for 2017 once a new Tyler Perry movie is released.

Sports are kind of popular in general, so there have been a multitude of video games based around sports. Though, one sport suspiciously left out in video gaming culture is the schoolyard classic of Kickball, which is similar to baseball except with much more emphasis on the legs. In this simulator, players would be able to stand in line in the blazing heat as they worry they will be picked last for the team, putting them in an extremely awkward position. They can also relieve kicking the rubber ball far and high as the opposing team scrambles to catch it while the player’s team members are reaching home plate faster than the player can reach first base. All of this amazing content and possibly even more can be found in Kickball Simulator 2016 which will never be patched or have any bugs fixed, instead, the next year’s version will just change the rules but keep the glitches.

Holiday parties can be very stressful events for many people as it can involve visiting family members that might not necessarily share the same political or social opinions. Cousin Margaret is really feeling the Bern while Uncle Paul likes the cut of Jeb’s jib but when those two meet, oh boy, yelling ensues. Meanwhile, there is the player, yes, the player of Keeping Your Damn Mouth Shut At A Holiday Party Simulator 2016. There really is no point it trying to argue with family about politics as the Holiday season is about togetherness, but more importantly, it is about stuffing faces with Grandma Ester’s famous peanut brittle which has been the cause of only two allergy-related deaths. This game is perfect for basement dwellers whose family has effectively abandoned them come December, so they can simulate how they would actually act if their family was not ashamed of them. It is also comes with a special filter so that it can be played in crystal clear 4K, even while the player is crying. Happy (Late) Holidays.

What do you think of simulation games, have they gone too far or should some of the ones mentioned in this editorial be brought to life? Are you tired of Adeki’s bizarre attempt at satire where you can not actually tell if he believes what he is saying? Make sure to leave a comment below, and to not watch a film directed by Tyler Perry, even if on accident.