They year is 2584. Steam Greenlight has completely enslaved humanity. Some work in the RPG Maker factory, some in the Unity Engine factory. The biggest group is in the Minecraft clone factory. A few of us have escaped and now fight against Greenlight and its army of crappy games. We have lost many friends. Lusipurr was killed early for his love of JPRGs and hatred of RPG Maker. His loss was not significant in any way. As always these “reviews” were written with 100% bias and without actually playing the “games” in question.
As a huge fan of old point-and-click adventure games like The Secret of Monkey Island and Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis this game offends me. Not only does it look absolutely disgusting, but it is a Steam Greenlight game. Not that there is anything wrong with a pixel art game like this, but that sort of art style can be done well. This game is NOT done well. This game looks like it was thrown together in about five minutes and then flushed down a toilet. A baseball stadium toilet, full of pee, puke, and poo poo (tee hee. Poo poo!). Why did the developer of this randomly throw in 3D assets? It just makes an already bad-looking game look worse. One thing the developer needs to remember about making this type of game is that the player kind of has to be able to SEE what is happening on the screen to be able to play it. It does not work when everything looks like one big, blurry pixel.
Best Comment: Karl Pilkington: “good lord that is some terrible pixel art. makes lucasarts games from 1992 look good. And makes games that do pixel art well, (like the Blackwell series) look stunning.” (I somehow DOUBT this is the real Karl Pilkington.)
It just would not be a Steam Greenlight Round-Up without a Minecraft clone! Not only is it a Minecraft clone, but it is also a clone of Ace of Spades, which is basically just a Minecraft clone with guns. The Greenlight entry actually lists this game as “Minecraft-like.” It is always good to actually advertise that your came is basically a ripoff of another better game. Oh, and this is also a Facebook game. Yes, you heard that right: someone is trying to get a Facebook game on Steam Greenlight. If that does not prove how worthless Greenlight is, then I do not know what will. In fact, to prove the worthlessness of this title even more, the Greenlight entry has no actual gameplay screenshots or videos. Just pre-made CG that is pretty much guaranteed to not look like the actual game. Just throw the Master Chief and Rambo in there and you have the perfect recipe for copyright infringement!
Best Comment: Zarrex: “Garbage idea, no content to show, tiny generic description, and uploaded by a person who hasn’t even set up their steam profile. OKAYLETSDOIT”
As longtime readers of this series already know, this author hates RPG Maker games. He also hates humor that is random just for the sake of being random. This game combines both to be, possibly, the worst game on the Steam Greenlight. This game boasts a stunning “4-8 hours of gameplay,” “Original music,” and that “purple cats are enemies!” Haha so random and funny! I have a feeling that this game actually lasts about five minutes, mainly because that is as long as anyone will be able to stomach playing this. I still do not understand why anyone would think RPG Maker games should cost any money at all. Oh, and there are some random fire trucks driving by! Haha so random! Hilarious! This game is the worst.
Best Comment: DrArchon: “RPGMaker trash.”