Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 30

*munch* Sorry, I am eating pizza while writing this, so I am too busy to write a real introduction. *munch* Not like anyone cares either. *munch* As always these “reviews” are written with 100% bias and without actually playing the “games” in question.

I wish someone would steal the idea for this game from its developer and then stab him in the heart.

Yes, that makes complete sense.

Order of Ataxia: Initial Effects

An epic tale of what some may call “mad” science, true love, and getting that anime booty. This is just another crappy anime dating sim that is using crudely and unrealistically drawn breasts to garner attention. Veteran readers of this series will know that I have an almost obsessive hatred of anime, especially anime dating sims. It is my firm belief that all anime dating sims should be wiped off the face of this planet. They are scum. Destroy them all. Heil Bup!

Best Comment: rybaby: “Disgusting. Degenerate. VOTED NO”

This looks like it just came out of a Nintendo 64 game.

Wow, what beautiful stolen assets!

Jurassic Domination: Dinosaur T-Rex

This game simulates the life of a “dinosaur T.Rex.” I am very glad the developer cleared that up for us, or one may have thought it was about the OTHER T.Rex! I never though a game about dinosaurs could look so… boring. Dull. I got tired just looking at the scree….. *snore* Oh, sorry! I passed out there for a minute. Whatever, play as a dinosaur. I am sure the game is boring, the controls are terrible and clunky, and it would be unplayable after about ten minutes.

Best Comment: Drebin1349: “What the fuck is this shit? Dinosaur T-Rex? You mean instead of a non dinosaur T-Rex?” (Hey, he noticed the same thing I did!)

Oh, I get it! Because

I wish I was dead.

Red is Dead

“An eight legged circle rolls through obstacles trying to survive this limitless world.” The only limit is how long you can play without wanting to hang yourself! “It must be weary of the blue objects as they can cause unexpected actions…” That is what she said. “…and stay away from red, the cause of instant death. Red is Dead.” Wait, that does not make sense. If “Red” causes instant death, should not the game be called “Red is DEATH?” *touches his earpiece* Wait, I am getting breaking news. Uh huh. Right. Okay. This just in: this game is a piece of crap and nobody cares.

Best Comment: Nicky “Bluepants” Altosaxafoni: “wow. great. 10/10. this game looks like its from newgrounds.”

7 Comments

  1. Imitanis
    Posted 2015.06.24 at 12:20 | Permalink

    One of these days Bup will throw in a game that is actually interesting just to confuse us.

  2. Bup
    Posted 2015.06.24 at 12:24 | Permalink

    @Imitanis: There are no interesting games on Steam Greenlight.

  3. Lusipurr
    Posted 2015.06.25 at 01:03 | Permalink

    Order of Ataxia doesn’t look that bad! :(

  4. Bup
    Posted 2015.06.25 at 11:00 | Permalink

    @Lusi: Did you read this article before or after you got your new glasses? If it was after, I think you need to bring them back…

  5. Lusipurr
    Posted 2015.06.25 at 13:07 | Permalink

    @Bup: :/

  6. Dancing Matt
    Posted 2015.06.27 at 00:37 | Permalink

    You’ve reviewed 90 of these games so far… amazing. Though how many could really be called games?

  7. Lusipurr
    Posted 2015.06.29 at 17:29 | Permalink

    @Dancing Matt: 2.