Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 24

By Bup
3 Comments

Hahahahaha. Hahahahahaha. Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about how horrible my life is since I have to “review” these Steam Greenlight “games.” As always these “reviews” are written with 100% bias against Steam Greenlight and without actually playing the “games” in question.

I guess my overwhelming need to torture myself.

Ugh, I do not even know anymore…

Hero’s Challenge

Another amazing epic RPG about mystery, intrigue, and love. Oh, wait. This game was made in RPG Maker, so it will be full of typos and be about three hours long. Even the developer of the game says in the description that he spent “maybe 50 hours total” on the game. I am sure that 10 of those were trying to make the actual game while 40 were spent working on making the female characters incredibly out of proportion. Plus, this is RPG Maker, so nobody should care about this game in the first place.

Best Comment: C0untzer0, shen100, TrickZZter, artix93, Kizawa, HelixU4, comradeaart, Shouky / Chiou, r0ex., mL, FriendlyFyre, Deus, {b4k} treestanectar : “I’ve never seen anything like this before. That title, those assets, the storyline…” (Author’s Note: Yes, 13 people posted the same comment to troll this game. I love it.)

What we've all been waiting for!

Oh, cool! A Pac-Man clone!

Entwine

I really cannot tell if this is just a stupid maze game or a stupid Pac-Man clone. Either way this game is stupid. Pretty much all of Steam Greenlight is stupid. In fact, life is stupid. Oh, I should probably talk more about this stupid game. This game looks like somebody basically scanned a Big Boy child’s place mat and declared it a game. It is stupid. Whatever.

Best Comment: Arikado: “Interesting, just need some polish in the title screen and i’m the presentation video. :)” (Author’s Note: It is cool that this guy decided to make himself the presentation video. That is nice of him.)

Seriously. The guy couldn't give us just a screenshot of the game?

Finally. Google integration in my crappy Steam Greenlight games!

Defender of all squares!

I really cannot decide what is my favorite part of this game. The fact that all the resources were made in MS Paint, or maybe that the developer could not figure out how to take a screenshot of just the game’s screen, or maybe even that this game was made using one of those crappy free game maker programs. All I know is that these combine to make one of the worst games seen on Steam Greenlight. Every week Steam Greenlight sinks further and further into a hole known as “complete and utter crap.”

Best Comment: Spamming Tanks: “No adult, or mentally healthy adult, would ever make this AND THEN put it on Steam to sell. Unbelievable.”

3 Comments

  1. Lusipurr
    Posted 2015.05.12 at 22:39 | Permalink

    Defender of All Square is not a game. I don’t know what it is, but it is not a game.

    Oh wait, I do know what it is. It is shit.

  2. Bek
    Posted 2015.05.13 at 04:04 | Permalink

    That blue ball looks PISSED.

  3. Java
    Posted 2015.05.13 at 06:15 | Permalink

    “If I may… Um, I’ll tell you the problem with the game development power that you’re using here, it didn’t require any discipline to attain it. You used what others had done and you took the next step. You didn’t earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don’t take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could, and before you even knew what you had, you compiled it, and packaged it, and slapped it on Steam Greenlight, and now [bangs on the table] you’re selling it. You wanna sell it.”