Welcome to another installment of “Awesome (Not) Steam Greenlight Games,” where I guide you loyal readers through the beautiful world of Steam Greenlight! For those who do not know; Steam Greenlight is a user-based voting system on Steam which allows indie developers to show potential fans their game ideas and possibly gain enough votes to publish their game. While these games can be anything from an RPG to a shooter they have one thing in common: they are all horrible pieces of garbage that should have never seen the light of day. I actually had a third title to review this week, but it was so bad the developer already took it down from the Greenlight system. Here’s a teaser of what my review would have been: “This game is crap.”
Snooze
Boring Man – Online Tactical Stickman Combat
Hey, remember that cool flash video from 2002 where that stick figure did all those cool martial arts moves and killed a bunch of other stick figures? Okay, so what if that was a game, but made 12 years later? Oh, it happened and it is this game? Well, I probably would not have cared even if this game was made when that flash first came out. According to this game’s description this game is already finished, but the developer is asking for votes on Greenlight to publish the game? Hey, people can donate money to get their name in some stupid Hall of Fame nobody will look at and they can possibly get other donator features later! That is right, I said possibly. Imagine if stores operated the same way: Yeah, people can pay for that product/service and I just MIGHT give it to them at some point between now and the end of time. That is about as confusing as why this game was even made in the first place. Stick figures are SO 2002.
Score: Y2K/10
Best Comment: DakkaDakkaDakka: “I am not man enough for this game – so much death – where is carmen sandiego when you need her – up voted – f-ing awesome!”
What crazy thing will sharks combine with NEXT?!
Hehehehe yeah those Sharknado movies are pretty awesome, but, like, what if you had sharks for ARMS? I, for one, cannot wait to CHOMP my way into this game! I love sinking my teeth into a good game! This game looks FIN-tastic! I am sure the writer of this game is a regular SHARKS-peare! I also heard the music is performed by a professional ORCA-stra! I almost just wanted to keep this masterpiece of a game to myself, but I did not want to be SHELL-fish!I am sure that is a bit SHARK-ing to you all! I bet this game is a lot of fun while eating a peanut butter and JELLYFISH sandwich! Okay, I am done now. This game is as horrible as all those puns. Kill me now, please.
Score: Sharknado/10
Best Comment: -ApolloX-Δψβ: “peace of shet no no no”
