Editorial: From Reader to Writer

With the hiring drive in full swing, I felt it expedient to show the reading public just how it goes from becoming a reader of this website to becoming a writer. As a baseline, it is always good to know that those who enjoy writing, can actually read in the first place. It would not do at all for someone that cannot read to be hired to write. Come to think of it, they would not even know this hiring drive existed in the first place.

That being said, becoming a writer for Lusipurr.com is not all that difficult a proposition. In fact, for those inclined to writing, and especially those who wish to improve their writing, Lusipurr is more than a capable proofreader, with years, if not decades of experience under his belt. Perhaps, if you bother him enough, he may share the Final Fantasy 6 fanscript he wrote when he was but a young lad back in the olden days. As one who was also writing horrible anime fanfiction back in the early days when America Online was the only means of internet connection, posting them upon the rec.arts.anime.creative boards showed just why some people should never put pen on paper until the mountains crumble into the sea. Despite this harsh criticism, I persevered and learned that any criticism levied at my stories were not malicious in nature, as I hounded those most unfortunate to be in contact with my work.

So, earlier this year, when I made the decision on a lark to apply for Lusipurr.com, I felt I had the writing acumen to share my perspectives with the gaming public at large and perhaps acquire some games in the process. Everybody wins! As noted by others, the application itself, located at the bottom of the website or on any article, is a simple one. Though, perhaps it could do with a bit of updating. Like, what is the equation that makes Homestarrunner so memorable? Or why should the viewing public be aware of the works of Coleman Francis? These are the questions that need to be asked!

So, upon receiving a favorable response from Lusipurr himself, I was elated to discover that I was in the running. However, as there was someone else already considered, I had barely missed the mark and was second choice behind another individual whose temperament was more compatible with the other writers of the site. In fact, I found it both flattering, and somewhat confounding, that I simply did not exhibit the less than favorable tendencies that Lusipurr wanted in his writers that could harbor them in any internet squabble.

But, as good fortune would have it, and unfortunately for the previous applicant, real life circumstances made writing for the website impossible and I was inducted into the website staff via disqualification. Hooray for Queensberry Rules! From there, it was almost like a regular interview, except done over Skype with the boss man himself. It involved the usual requests for: a picture ID, a non-compete contract, 401k sheet, your immortal soul. Well, the joke is on Lusipurr for I did not have a soul to trade, as I had misplaced it somewhere, someplace that I cannot recall. Instead, he how has the soul of a used car salesman from Walawala, Washington. But, eh, it works just as well and it was worth about the same.

So, with the agreements signed and mailed, I began my illustrious rise to the top of the corporate ladder at Lusipurr.com. I foresee great things during my time here and much enjoyment from the readings on the podcast. Though, against my better judgment, I listen to the podcast and wince whenever I find myself stuttering profusely whenever I hear myself. Ugh.

That aside, it is highly recommended that the reading public apply for writer’s position en masse and as soon as possible. Seriously. Please apply. We need more argumentative types here to keep Lusipurr happy or else the beatings will continue!