I picked up Conception II: Children of the Seven Stars recently for my Vita. Mainly because I needed a new RPG to play that was not Final Fantasy X HD and it looked to have some Persona like elements to it. Boy, was I ever in for a shock when I started up the game. Anime is everywhere. This is not a review of the game, but just my first impressions, because I have had NO time to do anything else these past couple weeks.
“Anime”
I guess the whole point of the game is to bang fellow classmates? All while battling some sort of demons that come out of holes made about twenty years ago. Boning the girls in class created some weird creature called a “Star Baby” that is not really human but some sort of spirit that can fight. Oh, and most of the characters in the game are around 16, so I bet every reader feels like a big perv after looking at the above picture. Did I mention that all of this is sanctioned by the Church in the game’s universe? Even the head priest makes a pervy comment about the female characters when you first meet him. Oh, and the chest of the first adult female you meet is not only gigantic, but bounces whenever she walks into frame. Well, none of the characters really move other than in the anime cutscenes, but the game uses the old PlayStation 1 method of just drawing them from the side and they just slide in. It would have been cool about 15 years ago, but I have seen the Vita render graphics that rival the PlayStation 3, so it is kind of lame.
The first thing I was greeted with was my main character whom I named “Blaise,” because it sounded cool. In true anime fashion he looks like he just walked out of a Fallout Boy-themed costume party. He immediately saves two other anime people who are of course helpless to a couple low-level enemies and end up being your BFFs. One is some spiky haired dude named “Chlotz” (I GUESS that is a name) and the other is some chick with crazy futuristic headphones named “Fuuko” (more like FUCKO hehehehehe). Spoiler alert: she gets banged first and all the priests watch. I guess everybody is at some school for teenagers who are “blessed” with the gift of creating these Star Babies and defeating the demons who are probably just trying to get out of their holes and get a nice tan.
THIS IS ANIME!
After I boned Fuuko and made three Star Babies, which from the anime-priests reactions was an impressive feat, I got to fight my first real battle. It lasted around ten seconds and it was kind of boring. The characters do not fight individually, but as teams with Fuuko and Blaise as one team and my three little Star Babies as another. Oh, I almost forgot that the Babies came out of eggs when they were born, which is pretty creepy. Also, they were all holding coupons for Kroger or Sears or a percentage off my next banging of an underage classmate. Sounds a little bit like prostitution to me, but I suppose that could be legal in the world of Conception. Anyway, I killed the monsters pretty easily and everyone high-fived and the anime babes bounced around the screen and gave some nerd a boner. Then I stopped playing because I could not handle the anime anymore.
There you have it, my first impressions of Conception II. I will play more and possibly write a real review later on, but for now that is all I have. I would love to hear what my dear readers have to say about this game, if any have played it at all. So what do you say, friends? Too much anime? Too little? Just enough? If you answer “too little,” I will most likely call you a dork-ass nerd in the comments and shame you for life.
