Lusipurr, SiliconNooB, Mel, and Java incorrectly predict the outcome of the Cricket World Cup, then move on to a discussion of how to make a satisfactory batch of cranberry orange muffins, complete with Zestria–and, furthermore, Sabin must be destroyed.
When Lusipurr declares war, the site’s giant robots are reactivated and the trench-digging commences. But even exciting Cricket and increased Zestria production are not enough to forestall gloomy news from the Nintendo, Konami, and Square Enix fronts.
Everything is coming up Zestria when SiliconNooB, Bup, and Lusipurr discuss new Lusipurr.com merchandising (including a Schadenfreude Clock, now on sale) and a greater focus on charitable giving (Zestria in very large quantities, shipped by freight).
Having had his pizza time foiled by SiliconNooB, Lusipurr aims for something slightly more continental: grapefruit and apple fritters. But America’s lack of little juice tins, and increasing love for pink grapefruit, are impediments to his delectation.
In an article referencing Friedrich Nietzsche, Robert Jordan, Vladimir Horowitz, Mark Twain, Alice in Wonderland, Isambard Kingdom Brunel, Doki!Doki! PreCure, and Kurt Waldheim, Lusipurr reviews Eternal Sonata.
In an effort to prevent Lusipurr enjoying his pizza, SiliconNooB harasses him with constant gibberings and dribblings of a news- and cricket-related nature. Then, adding insult to the injury, Bup arrives on the scene, necessitating even more shouting.
When England goes down to one of the worst defeats in ODI history, SiliconNoob, Imitanis, and Mel rush to console Lusipurr with pictures from Wal*Mart. Traumatised, the Dear Leader takes to his bed. But worse, Scottish defeats loom just around the corner.
When Peter Molyneux belches forth a veritable avalanche of fibs, untruths, falsehoods, deceits, tall tales, and straight-up lies, the industry holds him to account, exposing, beyond doubt, the untrustworthiness of gaming’s most infamous charlatan.
Lusipurr and SiliconNooB board the FellowShip Enterprise, and beam down with Capt. Reynolds, Mr. Snape, and Dr. Who to Hill Valley, 12 November, 1955, to defeat the Eye of Voldemort and Darth Tannen, who are trying to use the One Wand to rule the galaxy.