TSM Episode 398: Nuts and Dolts

The future is a piece of shit.

The fUtuRE is HeRE! THE fuTuRE iS NOw!

The Starlight Megaphone
Download: Released 2016.10.17

Lusipurr and Sebastian discuss Super Metroid, the reasons to avoid Virtual Reality, the Apple vs. Microsoft rivalry, great television programmes of the 1980s, and the nutritional content of nuts, in an effort to dissuade Lane from buying out the site.

5 Comments

  1. Lane
    Posted 2016.10.17 at 02:41 | Permalink

    I would never.

    First off, that seems like responsibility, and as a Small Business Owner with real employees, I can tell you responsibility sucks.

    Second, giving me editorial control is dangerous. I’ve been given such powers before and the consequences led to two national TV news appearances.

  2. Sebastian
    Posted 2016.10.17 at 22:06 | Permalink

    @Lane Responsibilities can be delegated. Your thirst for absolute power has not gone unnoticed, and will never be quenched until you have taken over not only this site, but the entire world.

  3. Lane
    Posted 2016.10.18 at 02:31 | Permalink

    The only thing I thirst for is scotch old enough to vote. The world holds little interest for me. I am content with a good book, a nice fire, a Cuban maduro, and a fine glass of Tempranillo.

  4. Dancing Matt
    Posted 2016.10.19 at 12:11 | Permalink

    I Homebrew-ed my Wii last night, while listening to the podcast. Now any chance I had of getting out of the house in this fine fall weather is ruined, and potential future consequences remain to be seen. It is, however, just about everything I’ve been dreaming of for gaming, what with my nifty Wii Classic Controller and all. Thanks, guys.

  5. Lane
    Posted 2016.10.20 at 15:34 | Permalink

    Great Odin’s Raven, the Nintendo Switch.

    What I would not have given to be in the board room when someone suggested it (imagine I’m typing all of this in Japanese).

    EXEC: We need a pitch, something with zazzle.

    JUNIOR ACCOUNTS: Well, I mean, our 3DS is really popular, but our consoles… lag.

    EXEC: Drat! I know.

    PITCH GUY: What if we do both, but like in one?

    JUNIOR ACCOUNTS: You have dishonored your family. Seppuku is necessary.

    PITCH GUY: Hear me out. People love our handhelds because they’re portable and we can release fun games on them that do not depend on overbearing technological wizardry like high-resolution graphics, voiceovers, and online multiplayer, right?

    EXEC: Yeah…

    PITCH GUY: And people hate our consoles because they’re underpowered relative to our competition and do not feature many of the things people want in consoles. Plus, we have wretched third party support.

    EXEC: Don’t I know it?

    PITCH GUY: So the solution is to make a handheld that can be used as a console, for the like six people who want to do that!

    EXEC: THIS IS GODDAMN GENIUS! Someone promote this man!

    JUNIOR ACCOUNTS: I should have listened to my father and become a lawyer. No lawyer has to put up with this kind of rank idiocy.

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