Lusipurr.com
Greetings, Lusipurrfects! It is with pleasure and promise that I am here to announce the illustrious and unparalleled Lusipurr.com is now hiring! Multiple positions demand to be filled, none of which involve travel to tropical utopias, high stakes espionage, lavish cocktail parties with the rich and famous, insurance against kidnapping, or any remuneration! No!
Here at Lusipurr.com, we have taken actual pride in our work since 1783. It does not take a keen eye to be so moved by the logo that one is driven to sobbing fits while penning words of expression that force new standards of beauty upon this green Earth. The site is so elegant in its interface that the rest of the entire Internet must dress its content in shiny baubles and flashing billboards to get any attention. This blatantly evident love of our work is the result of operating standards that are upheld and respected at all times; excellence born of criticality, objectivity, and independence on the right side of a firmly uncrossable divide between reporters and the subjects of reporting. We practice a level of transparency that is a rare gem in today’s world, batting away offers of gifts and advertising that suck the lifeblood out of honest journalism. Our readers will always be as informed as we are, and encouraged to think freely on all matters from choice of starting Pokemon to best all-time XI.
So what does it take to join the Lusipurr.com team? Dedication. Although working at Lusipurr.com is rewarding, it is not, perhaps, an ‘easy’ task. One must be able to meet the weekly deadline requirements of their position, of which there are a few to choose from. For those dedicated few who have good ideas, clear thinking, and the desire to employ both for the betterment of the gaming industry, the lofty heights of journalistic idealism beckon! Joining our staff may not be financially remunerative, but there are benefits:
– Full access to staff-only Skype chat, a high tech cloud-based water cooler
– A panelist position on our podcast, The Starlight Megaphone
– Employee of the Month drawings for free games
– One block of Zestriaâ„¢ to be shared with your village
– A play date with Bup
– And so much more*
* not really
If all that sounds simply fantastic, as it should, then why bother wasting any more time reading what I have to say? A scientifically proven application is just begging to be filled out! Many provocative positions are being offered at Lusipurr.com, each one having helped countless people ascend at least four levels in a quest to fill that gaping hole in their hearts left by the vapid offerings of other gaming journalism sites. Those currently coveted positions are:
– Web Designer/WordPress Handler
– Graphic Artist
– Streamers
– Writers
– Readers*
* Congratulations! You are hired! Tell all your friends!
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Terrific! Feel free to contact us at hr (at) lusipurr (dot) com. Ready to submit an application? Well, look at you go! All applicants will be reviewed and those chosen will be contacted for further steps in the Lusipurr.com employment process, most of which are not very painful and do not involve needles. We certainly look forward to working with you, and best of luck to all prospective employees!