Nothing says Thanksgiving better than a bacon-weave turkey.

Turkey Day is upon us, at least, for those of us that live in God’s country, America. Unfortunately, between a promotion at my other employer (the one that actually pays) and an increasingly sick dog, my time for all things gaming has evaporated over the past week. Instead of writing a cliché Thanksgiving post, I am going to borrow (steal) from Ethos and share some thoughts on the few gaming related items that sneaked into my busy life.

I Finally Beat Pokémon Y

It took me a few weeks longer than the site’s feature allowed, but I finally conquered the Elite 4 to finish the main story of Pokémon Y. My battle with the Elite 4 was harder than it should have been, mainly because I relied on two Pokémon, Blaziken and Reuniclus, rather than developing a balanced team. I enjoyed Pokémon Y more than the previous two entries into the series, but a few issues with the game prevent it from overtaking Heart Gold/Soul Silver as my favorite in the series. The drop in framerate during battles, especially double battles, is my biggest issue. At first, I only noticed slowdown while playing with 3D on, but later battles that involved larger monsters would slowdown even without 3D enabled. I expect that this will be fixed by the time Z gets released, though.

My other issues are pretty minor, but I do hate not being able to catch both legendary mascots in either game. I know that connecting with other players has always been a key part of the series, but most other players are very protective of their Yvetal or Xerneas and will only give them up if they are getting the other in return. This is not the first time this has happened, but it still is pretty annoying. It is a losing proposition for a person like me that enjoys attempting to catch every last monster. A perfect Pokémon game would allow me to find all 718 creatures between a pair of games, but my hopes of that being an actual release are pretty low.

My overdue return to Final Fantasy XIV

My time with FF XIV: ARR should have been unimpeded, but I allowed games like Grand Theft Auto V and Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag to steal my time from this excellent MMO. There is not much I can say about A Realm Reborn that would not be an echo of the praise that Lusipurr, Mel, and Blitzmage have heaped on the game. It really is that good. Looking back at the mess that Final Fantasy XIV was makes A Realm Reborn seem like an even greater accomplishment for Square Enix. FF XIV: ARR represents a growing threat to World of Warcraft and, while it may not dethrone the king, it at least gives the genre a healthy competition which has been absent for some time.

A great game that is hampered by a bit of poor programming.

Xbone vs. PlayStation 4 vs. Mario

The new console generation has begun. The hype and anticipation for the new pieces of hardware from Sony and Microsoft is a thing of the past and now it is action time for all three gaming companies. With many titles being delayed for both the PS4 and Xbone, the launch libraries for both consoles were quite lackluster. The graphics for games specifically designed for these current-gen consoles like Killzone: Shadow Fall and Ryse: Son of Rome are quite breath taking, but neither game interests me. I get a yet-another-FPS feeling with Killzone and Ryse was developed by Crytek, a company that makes beautiful graphics and fucks up everything else. As for the microtransactions that are plaguing Xbone games, I will leave it to the brilliant Australian, Julian Taylor, to report on them in his post this weekend.

A new console was not the only thing released on November 22nd though. Nintendo began its plan to sell Wii U’s during the holiday season with a bang, releasing Super Mario 3D World the same day as the Xbone. The release of 3D World finally gives Nintendo the must-have title that the Wii U has needed for a year now. My expectations for 3D World were not very high, partly because of time I recently spent playing the utterly terrible Paper Mario: Sticker Star, but I am happy to see that it is receiving positive reviews by other websites and other gamers. Now I wait patiently for Nintendo of America to make a good decision and bring the Mega Mario Bundle over here.

The Obligatory “Thanks” Section

Well I lied, but it would not be a true Thanksgiving post if I failed to include this section, so tough shit. I must give thanks to Emperor Lusipurr, if it was not for his kindness, I would not be able to infect the minds of the readers of this website. In fact, without Lusipurr, I would have never been introduced to gaming. Please note that the Great Leader forced me to include that in this post, something about all the staff members having to give thanks to him first and foremost on Thanksgiving.

To all the American readers, I hope you have a great Thanksgiving. To all non-Americans, it is about time that you immigrate to our broken country so that we can squeeze tax money out of more people.

Oliver says, 'I suck cock all the time.'

What are we thankful for? NOTHING. Nate seizes control and the news is left unattended in favour of speculation about the plot of Twilight. Lusipurr tries to get the show back on track, but finds it is like beating his head against a wall. Literally.

SPECIAL BONUS! — Have you ever wanted to hear the sound of Nate Liles shrieking from your pocket? “But that will never happen,” you might have said wistfully. Well, you were wrong, chump! The Official Lusipurr.com Spoiler Warning Alarm is available as an MP3 download today so that you can put it on your cellphone as a ringtone. “What? Nate Liles on my cellphone? I can’t believe it!” Well, stop disbelieving and start being a champ, chump, because it’s real and it’s happening. Put Nate Liles on your cellphone today!

SPECIAL BONUS No. 2! — Unable to believe that we have been so gracious as to give you a special bonus for no reason whatsoever? Well prepare to disbelieve some more, fool, because this week includes a SECOND BONUS (also for no reason whatsoever). With but a simple click, you can download an MP3 file of Oliver Motok saying that he sucks cock all the time–which you can then listen to all the time! It sounds too good to be true, but it isn’t! So, pick your jaw up off the floor and download now! (p.s. this file also works great as a ringtone.)

SPECIAL BONUS No. 3! — By popular demand, Oliver Motok’s most famous declaration of all time: There’s No Exploration in Metroid! Listen to this mp3 and you can relive the moment when Oliver was inaugurated into the vast and boundless annals of internet humiliation. Share it with your friends, your family, and your neighbours. Let mirthful peals of laughter echo from hill to hill in a chorus of delightful tintinnabulation–and remember who brings you these gifts that keep on giving: Lusipurr.com!