Children. Always ready to steal your controller.

As a proud parent of two wonderful children, I try to spend as much time with them as I can. During the school holiday though, they take up so much of time it leaves little for my to actually sit down and play games. That is what happened this past fortnight. In the UK, schools break up for two weeks over the Easter holiday. The result? Much of my free time has been spent pretending my daughter is an airplane while my son hogs the PlayStation 3.

Obviously I cannot go completely without games for two weeks, so I have been relying heavily on my iPhone. Some days I even had to fully charge it several times because the battery drained so fast.
So, what games consume such vast quantities of power? I prepared a few summaries of the games I have been playing recently. Enjoy!

Book of Heroes

I enjoy playing playing World of Warcraft, and when the time allows I enjoy a spot of raiding as well. This game replicates the content found in most MMOs without needing to create a 3D environment. This is the most recent game I have downloaded, so I am not that far into it yet, but already it has me hooked. Like a lot of internet games, energy is used as a resource to keep playing from playing non-stop. This is not a major issue on a mobile platform, as it is easy to switch to another app while it recharges.

The bulk of the game revolves around completing various kill and fetch quests. The rewards are used to buy new gear and gems to place in them. There are three colours of gem, each increasing one of three possible stats. Add to this a talent system and gear enchanting, the game becomes as addictive as Warcraft. There is always a goal in this game. Earn money for gear, unlock gem slots for it, buy gems to place in it then level up and begin the cycle again. Once raiding is possible, another currency can be earned to buy better than average equipment. Quite a lot of content for a free game, but yes, money can be spent to speed up the process. Why spoil the fun though?

Pixel People

This a game that can can be picked up for five minutes at a time.The aim here is to discover all the jobs in the game. This can take a while, as there are currently over 200 to find. Jobs are discovered by splicing together two existing jobs to create a new one. Each job has a ‘recipe’ used to create it, and can then be placed into a building. Once staffed, building produce cins for a set amount of time, with the player tapping a building have it start producing coins again. Coins are used to buy more land on which houses and buildings can be placed. New houses are required to continue generating new people to assign jobs to. A player has to decide between discovering new jobs, or duplicating existing jobs to fill buildings and maximise coin income.

Not the kind of people I would expect to find in my phone

This game plays very quickly for the first hour or so, then the arrival times of residents and the construction of buildings start to take a while to happen. Late game, it becomes very time consuming to get enough coins to buy extra land again. This is solved by more efficient residences being unlocked which cost premium currency. This currency is implemented well and is fairly easy to acquire during normal play, but helps to keep the player from progressing too quickly. A fun distraction when time is short.

Tiny Zoo

I picked this one up for my son, but ended up playing it myself as well. Very simple mechanics, buy an animal to earn money, use money to buy more animals, buy more land as required to place extra animals. There is a large emphasis on premium currency in this game, though it can be earned by completing quests. Some animals can generate it, but they usually cost a fair bit to buy in the first place. If it was not for the fact that I earned enough to buy one these creatures, I probably would not play the game any more. Now that I can generate premium currency each day I feel like I need to log in at least once to collect it, then spend much more time in the game than I originally intended. Not one I would recommend for people just starting out, though it is fun for children (turn off those in-app purchases though).

So there it is, the games that took up most of my time recently. Now the kids are back to school, the console is mine again! What would you have played if all you had was a mobile device? Can you recommend something new for the next time my kids are off? Tell your friends to come make suggestions as well because if they mention that you brought them to the site, you could win a free game!

PopCap Logo

PopCap Gamers announced today the launch of an all new Bejeweled adaptation as well as a new “freemium” edition of Bejeweled Blitz for the iPhone and iPod touch.

With the launch of these new titles PopCap plans to retire Bejeweled 2 to make way for the next generation of the land mark franchise. Mobile gamers can purchase the new Bejeweled title from the Apple App store for one dollar, alternatively they can download Bejeweled Blitz for no cost. The all-new Bejeweled will feature new high-res graphic and retina display support, three game modes: Classic, Zen, and Diamond Mine, in-game leader boards, and seven achievement badges plus three elite badges. Bejeweled Blitz will offer 60 second game action just as it did in the original Bejeweled titles along with, an entirely new user-interface, “The Daily Spin” where players can test their luck and try to get bonus coins, retina display support, full Facebook integration, and online leaderboards.

“With nearly 40 million mobile units sold over the past eight years, Bejeweled is the second best-selling mobile game of all time, behind only Tetris,” noted Giordano Bruno Contestabile, Bejeweled franchise Business Director at PopCap Games. “As we strive to reach virtually everyone with a mobile communications device, PopCap will continue to make games that are even more accessible to that ever-expanding global audience. We’re taking a critical step toward this goal with the introduction of these new Bejeweled titles that will enhance our offerings on the iPhone for years to come.”

Nintendo DS Logo

Smartphone-centric webzines have been crowing this week with the release of modeling which suggests that the Nintendo DS will generate a mere 36% of handheld revenue in 2011. Advocates of smartphone gaming are interpreting this development as a sign that Nintendo will soon be developing games for their preferred telecommunications OS.

The analysis firm Flurry has this week released modeling based on NDP data which suggests that the DS’s share of handheld profit is set to fall this year from 57% in 2010 to a scant 36% in 2011. To further contextualise the fading fortunes of Nintendo’s mighty handheld, Flurry have noted that in 2009 Nintendo’s DS held a princely 70% of a market worth a cool $2.7 billion, while in 2011 the aging console will accrue just 36% of a market worth $3.3 billion. Flurry suggest that cheap Android and iOS games have made spending $40 on portable software seem redundant, likening Nintendo’s response to the encroaching smartphone marauders to a sleeping army’s failure to detect an enemy attack. The firm have suggested that Nintendo will soon be forced to abandon their hardware business in favour of developing games for competing platforms.

While few would argue with Flurry’s contention that 2011 has seen Nintendo caught flat-footed with respect to their hardware business, their analysis nevertheless leaves several big questions unanswered. Chief among them is where does the 3DS fit into their prognostications, along with the need for them to give account for exactly why it is significant that DS sales have tapered off when the console is all but ready to be retired.

Frogger Decades Logo

On October 24, Konami Digital Entertainment Inc. released unique new additions to Frogger Decades in the App Store in response to user comments and feedback. With improved touch controls to make for more accurate “Jump” and “Tongue” commands, players are also introduced to two new characters. Finnius and Berry will join Frogger in his adventures, along with a secret unannounced playable character. Frogger Decades will feature iCADE support, and diehard Frogger fans will have the ability to play through a new Forever Mode, allowing them to play though Frogger’s entire journey to his big birthday bash, all in one sitting.

Frogger Decades will begin the story with Frogger coming home to find a map pinned to his frog door, giving directions to his frog birthday party. Unbeknownst to Frogger, his arch frog enemy has changed his frog map, sending the poor frog on a dangerous journey to his own thirtieth birthday bash. Frogger Decades will be showcasing five creative and alluring environments, designed to challenge even the most hellbent of Frogger fans. From giant crabs to bulldozers, Frogger will have to dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge his way through many difficult and maddening obstacles on his journey to the party. Along the way, players will be given the opportunity to meet many of Frogger’s closest friends, each with a unique ability to help Frogger along his way.

Frogger Decades is now available for purchase and download on the App Store for iPad, iPhone and the iPod Touch.

Pee and Poo Save the World

One of the most curious e-mails to grace the Lusipurr.com inboxes greeted me when I woke this morning, and I feel it delivers a fitting end. Most omens involve dark clouds and rumbling thunder, mine involve toilet humor…toilet humor that could misconstrue “dark clouds and rumbling thunder” with a giggle.

With a name like Brown and Yellow International Holdings LLC, players have to wonder what kind of company we are dealing with here. No fear, they deal with exactly what you think they do. The team of Peter Cortez and Joe Sayaman released their brainchild to the iOS app store this week for a paltry $0.99, a juvenile game by the name Pee and Poo Save the World. No, I am not kidding you, get your proof here.

In this new iPhone game, players control anthropomorphic waste products who, as the title implies, must save the world. Aliens have come to their world to abduct baby animals and the duty (hehe, duty) of saving them is up to the foul duo the only way they know how. Plungers fly, farts drop like stinky bombs from the sky, water balloons mimic Jarate, and torches of excrement bombard the extraterrestrial enemies.

The game’s creators admit that it is not a serious game, but that’s the point. “We can’t sit there going, ‘We’re going to create the next big game and everyone will love it.’ We can’t worry about that,” said Cortez, adding, “we just wanted to create something good, that people will thoroughly enjoy for more than five minutes.”

And with that, I bid you adieu, Lusipurr.com. I will still be around, reading and commenting and blowing up your Twitter feeds, but I feel that my time as news editor has passed. Thanks for the delightful months here! Apology accepted!

US Suikoden Manual

Quantum Mechanics of Suikoden

It is not uncommon in the world of video games for something to be delayed, cancelled, or forced into vaporware due to the break-up of a team. Its also not uncommon for the head honcho of production to feebly attempt to save some fans with an uncertain promise “this does not mean we will never do it, just not now.” But no one does this in such the interesting manner as Osamu Komuta, director of Suikoden Tierkreis. According to Komuta, the group that worked on the DS title disbanded several years ago. But he does not want to rule out the possibility of another Suikoden title altogether, instead offering a glimmer of unusual hope:

“The game’s universe now lives in the ‘Infinity’ where it is possible for all the games to co-exist while leaving room for great growth and exploration in the series because both Tierkreis and the previous games are essential elements for the Suikoden universe.”

Glad to know video game developers have an eye out for news in other dimensions. Komuta’s next project, Frontier Gate is a joint project between Konami and Tri-Ace; following the loss of the Suikoden staff, Konami felt they had lost their RPG know-how and turned to Tri-Ace to fill that gap. Frontier Gate will be released for the PSP sometime in 2011 for Japanese markets, with international release possibly following.

Take that, evildoer!

Too Much Halo

The majority of the Lusipurr.com staff and readers believe that looking at a copy of Halo means you have already wasted too much time on it. The developers at Bungie have spent egregious amounts of time on Halo and you would think they would be brain-dead and useless by now because of it. But you would be wrong. Jeff Fletcher, one of Bungie’s IT staff, was going to the bank this week when he saw an argument break out between two men. Their argument quickly escalated into gunfire, leaving one of the men wounded and the other fleeing the scene. Using his Halo skills and, more likely, his skills as a former security guard and son of a police officer, Fletcher pulled out his own firearm and went after the fleeing suspect. Carrying his father’s old handcuffs, he was able to restrain the man until police arrived. Seattle, Washington allows gun owners to obtain a license to conceal a firearm, so his admirable heroism was legal, if a little ill-advised.

Probably not in the app.

Giant Robot GPS

Commuting is a horrible, awful thing, especially when you encounter traffic. How amazing would it be to have your very own giant mech to stomp through rush hour in time for you to get your morning coffee before settling down at your desk? Well, that is not possible (yet) but there is something else that can help you attempt to alleviate that boredom. Bandai Namco is releasing an app for the iPhone featuring a variety of Gundam Mobile Suits. Users can choose either Earth Federation or Republic of Zeon, with their car being represented by a respective Mobile Suit. If you ever find yourself lost, just fire up the app, and a selection of characters will show you the way to your destination. The more you use the app, the more characters and Suits will be unlocked. There are also random encounters, in which you will see your Gundam fighting against enemies, which is great until you need to know where to turn. To have your Gundam GPS, you better be willing to shell out for it. Gundam Navigation is a subscription-based service that will run you US$46 per month.

So we did.

EVE Online Scammers

On the topic of you losing a considerable amount of money, you should be happy you are not an EVE Online player. If you are, you may be out a few thousand dollars. Not just in-game money, but actual green paper. Approximately eight-thousand players that invested their in-game currency, ISK, in a company called Phaser, Inc. found themselves out of luck and out of money when the group was found to be part of a huge Ponzi scheme. Those that ran the scam did not quietly disappear either, they updated their site with a tactless announcement stating that “the ISK is gone; you will not ever see it again.” Overall, just over one trillion ISK were lost to Phaser, a profit of over $50,000 over the course of their eight month scam. What hurts most about this scam is that it is not going to be punished; in fact, it was perfectly legal and violated none of the game’s rules. They detail the purpose and practice of their dealings at their website and offer the valuable lesson to never trust anyone on the internet.

Cowboys & Aliens Cover

On August 3rd, the consulting firm Orbit Media Group, LLC announced a partnership with the global charity Starlight Children’s Foundation. This partnership will see Orbit donating a percentage of its profits of the new iOS App Cowboys & Aliens: The Kids. Starlight will use these funds to forward their cause of aiding seriously ill children. In order to create the App, Orbit needed permission from Platinum Studios, whose CEO Scott Mitchell Rosenberg created the original Cowboys & Aliens graphic novel.

Cowboys & Aliens: The Kids shares little more than the name with the graphic novel and movie, featuring an original story about trio of children (one cowboy, one Native-American, and one alien) who become friends while playing with toys. It is presented as an interactive storybook, featuring voiced narration and character customization. The App is currently available for all Apple iOS devices for $4.99. An Android version is on its way.

The founder of Orbit, Chris Adams, had previously helped create Participant Media, the company behind An Inconvenient Truth and Syriana. Due to Participant’s model of advancing social causes through their content, a partnership like this was inevitable.

Starlight Children’s Foundation, a nearly thirty-year-old charity organization, is dedicated to assisting seriously ill children and their families by providing a way to cope with their troubles. Starlight’s programs entertain and educate, distracting ill children from their pain in a way which makes it easier to manage their illnesses. Their network supports children in the United States, Canada, Australia, Japan, and the United Kingdom.

Final Fantasy Tactics War of the Lions

Blue testicled Lusisprites will be gratified to hear that this past week marked the release of Lusipurr.com staff favourite: Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions on iOS devices – or more specifically the iPhone, due to the known inability for iPad games to be released simultaneously as Universal Apps on the iTunes store. Director Yasumi Matsuno’s iconic tale of fellowship, intrigue, and betrayal has seen release at a heretofore unheard of price point for the title at a mere $16, that is none too shabby for a port that has spent almost as long in development as the 1997 original. To put this into perspective it represents a saving of a whopping $34 dollars over the PS1 original at launch, and commands a slight $6 premium over the current pricing of 2007’s PSP port. Happily iPad owners need not fret, as Square Enix has announced that a native iPad version of Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions will be making its debut later this month – so they can look forward to paying somewhere in the vicinity of $18 for that.

As if JRPG fans had not been gifted with enough insane iOS bargains this week, Square Enix has also seen fit to strike a blow for massive savings by slashing the pricing of legacy iOS titles to celebrate the launch of Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions. On the iPhone front Chaos Rings: Omega has been drastically discounted to $9, Secret of Mana, Chaos Rings and Song Summoner have all been slashed to a tantalising $7, while both Final Fantasy I&II are a steal at $5 a piece. Meanwhile iPad versions of Chaos Rings and Chaos Rings: Omega have been busted down to $8 and $12 respectively, so head on down to iTunes and pick yourself up a Square Enix bargain!

We saw some ducks swimming beneath the moon and wondered what was up with that. #sworcery

Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery is, for lack of a better term, an “event” game. Some games are instant hits, well-made concoctions of artwork, gameplay, music, story and setting that really take off. They happen as a discrete event, and then fade away. They may be often imitated, but can never be truly equaled again.

Which is odd; broken down into its component parts, S:S&S should not work, at all. Retrofied Atari 2600 graphics, a color palette that explores the nuances of green and brown, gameplay that revolves around the lunar phase, chiptunes (of all the nerve!)… these things, if combined in another game, would make me say, “Oh look, someone trying to slip a fast one past me with lots of style and no substance.”

Watch out, the Scythian! It's a grizzled boor!

The gameplay is beyond simplistic. The puzzles are not challenging at all. The “fights,” for lack of a better term, are simple affairs in tapping the screen. As far as gameplay goes, there is not a whole lot of either game or play here.

Yet dollars to donuts, I would bet serious cash that anyone with an iOS device that plays this game will be blown the fuck away.

S:S&S is a musical, artistic exercise in bizarre psychedelia. The brain child of Jim Guthrie, who is some sort of mythical Canadian satyr, like Ginia was a hobbit and Ethos is a… (how will he go with this? Fairy joke? Nah, seems to obvious. Go with a moose joke. Moose are fab-oo this season.) moose.

The… story… such as it is, is revealed through cryptically-written statements that pop up as players tap the screen. Tapping moves the player character, the Scythian, a vague Conan-ish stand-in (though, as she is female, she is more like Jirel of Joiry, one of the first true heroines in fantastic fiction). Turning the device this way and that unlocks new modes, such as the combat mode or the Megatome, which allows players to read the thoughts of animals and other characters. There’s the faithful dog, Dogfella. Or the woodsman, Logfella. Or his daughter (presumably?), the dark-haired girl. Or a Carl Jung/Sigmund Freud stand-in (complete with cigar!) called “the Archetype.”

Fun Conan Fact: "Cimmeria," the homeland of the titular barbarian, was inspired by the Texas Hill Country.

The gameplay revolves around a quest for the Megatome, fleeing the bad guy, and then releasing forest spirits to unlock pieces of the Trifoce Trifecta, and fighting such notable enemies as wolves and grizzled boors.

There really is no way to describe the gestalt that is playing the game, alone at night, in a darkened room, just the player and some headphones. One presumes that this is the way Guthrie and Co. intended the game to be experienced, a collective of music and 8-bit artistry and touch controls and weird little snippets of text that, together, equal more than the sum of their parts. They equal Suprebrothers: Sword & Sorcery, which is one of those things that people just have to experience. It is an event, and for $4.99 on the app store, the price of entry is super, super low… assuming one already has an iOS device.

Fart!! is exactly what one would expect from reading its title.  Users load up the Fart!! app and simply press a button to simulate the best fart sounds the iPhone and iPod Touch can provide.  There are many different fart sounds to use, even including the infamous leg farts.  Graphically, there is not much to say as the app is pretty much just a single button the user presses to activate the various fart noises.  The app even has the ability to combine with other iPhones or iPod Touches that have already downloaded the app to create a giant fart bomb that is deafening to the ears of listeners in the nearby area.  One of the best aspects to this app is the fact that it is available in both English and Italian, something most other fart apps do not have.

Overall, Fart!! is an amazing fart simulating app.  It is simple enough for all users, yet does not lose any of its enjoyability.  The multi-app abilities and the addition of an Italian language option just make the app even more worth downloading.  What makes it even better is the fact that it is a free download.  For any user of the iPhone or iPod Touch, this is a must-have app!

''The industry rebellion has been foiled. The remaining developers will be hunted down and defeated. The attempt to curtail my profits has left me scarred and deformed, but I assure you, my resolve has never been stronger. In order to ensure security and continuing stability, the industry will be reorganised into the Global Activision Empire!''

Darth Lane uses the force to ensure that the panelists eagerly report on the Tokyo Game Show, show their love for Activision games, and profess their unswerving belief in the right-minded thinking of Emperor Kotick. All hail the GLOBAL ACTIVISION EMPIRE!

Lusi’s Backburner Giveaway

Whether you play Team Fortress 2 with us lovable misfits or if you have never played at all, anyone with half a brain can understand that a multiplayer game with no item trading is annoying as all hell. Case in point, Lusipurr has too many Huntsman…the bastard only needs one to kill us all anyway. Well, the lads at Valve have announced that they will finally be helping with this problem. In an interview with PC Gamer, Robin Walker revealed that in addition to the ability to do item trading, the next update will also include a new game mode and the twenty winning Polycount weapons and items. Of course, he says this update is due “next month” so it will be out some time before next Easter. No word on if it will contain anti-Lusidouche technology, we can only hope.

Android? In my PSP?

Its more likely than you think. As the iPhone works to establish itself as a gaming machine to people other than Ginia’s moronic coworkers, Apple’s competitors are looking to get in on the gaming phone trend. But wait, you ask, what about the legacy of the N-Gage? Easy, Android and Sony are not made of fail and they already have the fanbase to prove it. A trusted source leaked to Engadget this week that it does indeed look like plans are moving forward to create a PSP-style phone, with a five megapixel camera, a 3.7 to 4.1 inch display, and in place of its QWERTY keyboard, controls like the PSP Go. More information of this device is rumored to come out in October, so until then, keep enjoying your fifty DS games.

I apologize for lack of tits pictures and any unsightly formatting issues, but while Android is amazing, it does have some limitations. I love you all enough that I am almost out of battery power, so hush and be happy.

Not art. Or shut up.

Gamers Threw A Tantrum, Ebert Gave In

We may not have gotten candy or a new toy, but after much screaming and pounding our fists on the ground, the gaming community got what it wanted: Roger Ebert shutting the hell up. In his latest journal entry on the Chicago Sun-Times website, he writes:

I was a fool for mentioning video games in the first place. I would never express an opinion on a movie I hadn’t seen. Yet I declared as an axiom that video games can never be Art. I still believe this, but I should never have said so. Some opinions are best kept to yourself.

He goes on to speak of the nearly five-thousand comments that his blog received, only about three-hundred of which concurred with his opinion. With his foot in his half-of-a-mouth, he acknowledges that not all were “cretinous comments from gamers,” but rather “intelligent, well-written, and right about one thing in particular: I should not have written that entry without being more familiar with the actual experience of video games.” He goes on to elaborate how he was wrong and to admit one critical thing about himself: he has no desire to play video games, and thus, cannot understand how they can be seen as art. He admits that he may not understand it, but as our site discussed at length, art is experienced differently by each viewer, or in this argument, by each player. He concludes his article with something we all knew from the beginning, “I was a fool for mentioning video games in the first place.”

She's not touching the sides, you should be okay.

I Blame Virginia Herrell

If you live under a rock, you may not have heard of this miraculous device called an iPhone. Another reason you may not have heard of it is because your friends who have it cannot actually call you on it unless they hold it the right way. With the release of the iPhone 4 also came the newest technical problem for Steve Jobs to ignore, in which the user’s signal strength will almost disappear simply by putting their hands on the metal sides, an almost unavoidable task. This is not the first time that a phone has had a design flaws like this, Nokia released models with this type of problem several years ago, and as I was lucky enough to own one of these piece of cheap Chinese garbage, there is one clear difference between Nokia’s fail and Apple’s fail: the Nokia phone explicitly stated “do not touch this antenna area” and you were fine as long as you heeded that warning. Apple’s shining representatives did not state the antenna problem prior to its release, and have been rather unapologetic, with King Jobs even saying “just avoid holding it that way.” And you paid how much for that device again? Enjoy!

Eyepatch, check. Underboob, check. Loli panty shot, check. Its definitely a Lusipurr.com picture!

Nintendo Cures Googly Eyes

Amblyopia, or severe lazy eye syndrome, left young Ben Michaels with a severely compromised right eye, with such deterioration over the course of two years that his doctors feared permanent blindness in the eye. After taking him to the Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital in London, his mother was shocked at the treatment plan for her son: video games. Per the doctor’s orders, Ben played Mario Kart DS for two hours every day with a patch over his left eye, and in no time, the boy’s prognosis went from rather grim to absolutely stunning. Because the youngster’s functional eye was covered by the patch, this forced the right eye to work harder and concentrate more on the figures on the screen. “When he started, he could not identify our faces with his weak eye,” his mother told the Daily Mail, going on to say that he now was able to read with the afflicted eye. Doctors are, as always, wary to say that video gamers are the cure, but admit that they certainly help as the child tends to stick with it more than with traditional methods.

RPGamer finally made Lusipurr's game, and the gameplay videos are out.

Gameplay Videos Are Piracy

For as many tech pirates inhabit the internet societies of Western civilizations, Japan still manages to ravage us in terms of piracy, so much so that publishers are cracking down with an iron fist. Visual Arts and Aquaplus, two visual novel publishers, have started warning users that posting gameplay videos to sites like Nico Nico Douga and Youtube is an act of piracy itself, classifying it as unauthorized distribution and threatening fines and jail time. Since visual novels differ from other games in that all players will follow the same dialogue prompts and answer the same choices, the argument is that these videos show the potential buyers exactly what will happen, thus eliminating the need to buy it. While calling this an act of piracy is not unheard of in Japan, many gamers and other industry watchers warn that any legal action could set a dangerous precedent and perhaps even hurt the developers themselves when sites refuse to even show trailers for fear of litigation. While the U.S. has several statutes regarding the fair use of such media, Japan does not, so the future of video game videos is yet unknown.

Probably not in the next update.

Julian ‘SiliconNooB’ Taylor: Master of Moustache Science

Valve is surely making a name for themselves as the most frustrating cocktease ever. In addition to releasing several new Portal 2 videos, they have also updated the Team Fortress 2 blog this week with a new comic. In addition to declaring Australia a cesspool of idiocy allowed to survive only by some strange gold brick, it reveals new details about the RED versus BLU backstory and the history of the Engineer. But what if you could care less about all that and just want to shoot things? We do know that the Engy will soon be getting a golden wrench, rumors are abound that a new shotgun is in store…and a new machine. The comic makes it sounds as if it will be some kind of invulnerability device, dubbed the Not-Dying Machine. The guys at Valve have the good of making English. What they are not good at, however, is giving a date for the next update.

This Plane uses the HM02 Engine!

After a week of posting absolute nonsense, the Lusipurr.com staff finally decides to really drive a nail into their Fearless Leader’s coffin. Nate Liles explodes, leaving only Australians and Canadians behind. Meanwhile, Lusipurr comes down with Shingles.

Probably not what Marvin Gaye had in mind.

Get Your Sex, But Not Here!

Many lonely fanboys cried wimpy tears this week as Sony refused an offer made by Vivid Video, the world’s largest pornography creator of such favorites as “Debbie Does Dallas…Again!” The company’s hope was to set up an age-restricted area on PSN where adult gamers could go to download some high-definition horizontal action, but Vivid founder Steven Hirsch regrets that negotiations went limp. However, he is not going to give up on the lonely gaming masses just yet, stating he could now turn his intentions to Microsoft to possibly bring some smut to the 360.  But what if you need nudity now? First, get out of the house and obtain someone of the opposite gender, this might be harder for some of you. Then, fire up your iPad or iPhone and play your new game! Which game? “War is Not the Answer,” a new game by Masaya Matsuura, creator of PaRappa. And why would your new significant other even consider getting naked to a video game? Because this game is based on the musical stylings of the one and only Marvin Gaye. Yes ladies and gents, an entire game based on “Sexual Healing.” It will play in the same Guitar Hero/Rock Band style, with users tapping a highlighted area in time with his soulful lyrics. Unfortunately, the game has no set release date yet, so you miserable losers will have to continue using your hand for now.

"Stop comparing me to Cloud, assholes!"

Final Fantasy XIII, Now Making Your PS3 a Tunnel Too!

On June 2nd, a class action lawsuit was filed against the evil overlords at Squeenix regarding FFXIII…sadly, you cannot sue for the hours of your life that you will never get back. Instead, they are suing for their PS3s which they now can never get back, as the game’s notable glitches not only froze the game, but made their systems completely inoperable with other discs as well. Of course, SquareEnix representatives are pointing the blame on Sony’s faulty system being unable to handle their awesome tunnel, while Sony says Square released faulty discs. The suit seeks damages of over five million dollars, and neither company has responded to IGN for comment.

"Teehee, its funny when you bleed!"

Only Some Gamers are Batshit Crazy

Actually, about four percent of gamers are batshit crazy, playing video games almost forty-nine hours a week. Yes, playing video games more than a full-time job. Surprisingly enough, a third of those categorized as “extreme gamers” by the NPD study were actually women, with the average age of all participants being twenty-nine. Even more interesting is the economic status of the “extreme gamer,” showing that the majority of them were actually people with a lower income than the other gamers. But, these same lower-income extreme gamers were found to buy more games than others, a staggering thirty-four game average over a three month period, which should dispel the idea that it is solely World of Warcraft’s fault. A good question the study does not answer is how much of this is Counter-Strike’s fault…probably because no one gives a shit about Counter-Strike anymore, except for one guy. Julian Barreaux, a 20-year-old nerd from northern France, spent seven months hunting down another player that killed him in-game in a knife fight. After finding that this rival lived only a few miles away, the crazy Frenchy went to the fellow gamer’s home and stabbed him, just barely missing his heart. The Counter-Strike fanatic will be held in jail for two years and must undergo regular psychiatric evaluations and anger management therapy.

Aww, such a sweet, considerate virtual girlfriend! She's giving you lube for when you go masturbating in a lonely corner while crying!

Need My Virtual Porn Now!

To begin my weekly news with porn, I needed to end it with porn, and for that, I turn to Japan. To be fair, Love Plus is not actually a pornographic game, but a dating sim that has attracted massive popularity, including a Japanese man legally marrying his imaginary digital girlfriend. This week, the obsession over the game reached a new level of ridiculous when nerds starting rioting outside of shops in Akihabara. Especially when you consider that these riots are not caused for the release of the game itself, but for pre-ordering it. Yes, the police have had to break up crowds that go enraged when they could no longer reserve a copy of a game. To be fair, these reserves are extremely rare, as the bundle (which comes with the game, a special-edition DS, and a fan) has been selling out instantly online, and to the disdain of many, has been turned around and resold on auction sites for several times the original price. It is unclear why Konami has not released enough to meet the ridiculous levels of demand, but the accosted shop owners and police officers are surely wondering the same.

Because CoD does not want to die just yet.

Suddenly, Call of Duty, Hundreds of Them!

This has been an insane week for Call of Duty news! First, in the interest of actual journalism, let us begin with what we know. It has been confirmed that CoD Black Ops will take players all over the Cold War era world, including Vietnam, the Russian mountains, and Laotion underground. It has also been confirmed that you will be playing as a member of an unconventional secret force of the CIA called Task Force 141 Studies and Operations Group (SOG). New weapons include a crossbow, the M202 rocket launcher, and an incendiary shotgun, and developer Treyarch has also revealed they will be bringing back vehicles, including a helicopter fight. They have also promised a co-op mode and full character customization, which brings us to this week’s rumor mill. With Activision’s acquisition of Bungie, the masses have cried “Modern Warfare 3!” like banshees in the night. However, Bungie has previously stated that they have no interest in the Call of Duty series, and considering the recent fallout of Infinity Ward, can you really blame them? Instead, Bungie is concentrating on their new IP, which Activision has already ensnared with a ten-year contract, which they say could outshine their Halo series. But do not fret over this loss, as another rumor floating about states that Raven Software, developer of such games as Soldier of Fortune, is potentially developing the next CoD game. Not much else is known to substantiate this, but as Infinity Ward continues to drop off like flies, you can expect that next week will bring us more news from the seeds of Activision dissent.

Hit her again, she clearly enjoys it.

Animu Hits Hard Times

Times are tough for North American anime and manga publishers with not one, but two publishers seeing significant changes recently. Viz Media, publisher of Bleach, Naruto, Dragon Ball, and almost any other popular manga, laid off sixty employees this week after having already put an unknown number of employees out of work in February of this year. The publisher stresses that this will not affect production of their fans’ favorite manga, but one of the biggest questions here is the stress on ‘favorite.’ Whether or not less popular titles will be cut is yet to be seen. Similarly, the 4Kids Entertainment group, known for bringing Pokemon and blatant censorship to the States, has also taken a big hit, seeing profits decrease so badly that the New York Stock Exchange has begun the process of delisting them. The company did state that a third party was looking to acquire the group for more than their market value of US$15.6 million, but did not reveal the name of their potential new owner.

Nightmare Mode Redefined

Square’s Trail of Disappointment

Now that you have scrubbed yourself clean from that dirty, tainted feeling left behind from playing Final Fantasy XIII, you are probably hoping that Square has learned that no means no and not to touch you in your sensitive place again. How wrong you are! Coming back to violate you some more is Final Fantasy XIV, their attempt at getting more money from the previous players of XI. The beta for the upcoming MMO released in March, and in that time, some naughty videos began popping up on YouTube showcasing the horribly lackluster battles. Rather than taking it as a hint to improve their system, Squeenix concentrated efforts on getting these videos removed, forgetting the golden rule of the internet that once something hits, you will never scrub the tubes clean of it. The viewer must take into consideration that this is only a beta, and therefore the battles have some excuse for being slow and uninteresting, but its a ‘dog ate my homework’ kind of pathetic excuse. The game is supposed to be due out later this year, which many gamers are saying is much too soon for a game that feels so hollow.

Or you could sit on your iPhone....most people seem to drive with their ass anyway.

Because Cell Phones and Ice Cream Behind The Wheel Are Not Awful Enough

Assuming all of our readers are over sixteen years of age (if not, Grandpa Lusipurr dislikes your presence on his lawn, so leave), then we have all driven a car. Subsequently, we have all seen the god awful things that other people do while driving their cars. Between talking or texting while driving, eating food, applying make-up, or that lovely case in Florida of some lady shaving her cooch while behind the wheel, it is undeniable that there are far too many distractions behind the wheel. Key words: behind the wheel. So some genius decided to put it in front of the wheel! Cisco, the computer development company that essentially keeps the world running (no, not the man that made the Thong Song), has made what is essentially an iPad for your dashboard, fully customizable with various apps that the driver can tap as they go along. Of course, the developers admit that this is still years off from being on the production line, probably due to concerns of expense, though hopefully concerns of safety as well. However, if you do not give a shit about the other cars around you and would prefer to douche it up on the go, go buy a large American turd called the Chrysler C200 and plug your iPhone in. The newest marvel out of Detroit allows users to control the temperature of the car, lock the doors, change the music, and basically anything else you could want your car to do, all with a push of your iPhone. Just please, do it in your driveway, not while flying down the highway going 80 MPH like an ass.

I could have put a picture of the pre-order hat... or I could put a picture of a penis on a chariot. Did you really think I would choose the former?

Return of the Penis Monster

Which penis monster? Its rather sad that there are so many that you need to ask. But the penis monster I am referring to is Mara, the chariot-riding cock from the Persona series. This week, a new pre-order bonus was announced for those looking to purchase the PSP version of the popular Persona 3 game, and it is… a hat. I have been told by Persona fans that this is fantastic news, I hope you enjoy your mediocre Junpei cosplay? For those Persona 3 fans wondering why they should waste the money buying a game they have already played on their PS2, many changes have been made to the PSP version, the biggest of which being the gender of the main protagonist. He was rather quite and effeminate before, so now they have decided to simply make him a woman instead. This does alter other aspects of the game as well, but with the addition of battle elements from Persona 4, new music, and your precious hat, it definitely seems worth picking up when it releases on July 6th for North American markets. But do not despair over the loss of your wimpy man character, because new information was released this week about Persona 5. The latest issue of Dengeki magazine has revealed that they are working on a new game, and the main character will be slightly introverted, with a slouch and hair covering one of his eyes. Seeing as the new game will also include Aegis, I think its safe for us all to assume that Atlus has stopped caring and begun following the Nodick-method of taking all your money. Except that part where I lied; sorry everyone, but it turns out the reports were based on a mistranslation of Dengeki and were talking about P3P, not P5. I accidentally the English. Thanks to Darth Gibblet for correcting my mistake.

This is not art, some irrelevant old fat moron said so.

Rejecting Your Reality and Substituting a Treadmill

The realm of virtual reality, despite being the biggest 90’s movie cliche ever, is still being developed today in 2010, and a team of developers has made a rather large leap in this field. One of the drawbacks of VR technology has always been the need to real-world space; for example, if you walk forward, the device on your head will show you walking through a field of flowers, but since you are already required to physically walk forward in space, why not just walk through real flowers? A team of German and Italian researchers have unleashed a new device upon the world, that is essentially a five-square-meter-long treadmill, that will adjust its speed and direction to the actions of the user, doing its best to keep the user in the center of the square. While it sounds quite simple (video can be viewed here), the ramifications for it are amazing. Just imagine, where you can put on a helmet and get on your omni-dimensional treadmill, and play a game of World of Warcraft or Modern Warfare simply by controlling the motions yourself. Of course, something this lofty is surely years away, but the development possibilities are far-reaching. In similar dimensional reality based news, we have a follow-up to our Featured story of last week’s podcast: Roger Ebert opened his half-of-a-mouth again! If you would like to read a stream of unadulterated bullshit about how 3D is, like video games, not art, then by all means, check our his Newsweek article here and feel free to discuss in the comments, I look forward to reading many quips about his lack of a face.

Silly manga, iPads are not used for reading! Who reads anymore?

Make Your Own iDoujin (Tentacles Not Included)

If you are an aspiring mangaka, you better get your ass over to Circle.ms and hope you can read some moonspeak Japanese, because from now until June 6th, you can sign up to be a beta tester for an awesome new iPhone/iPad application. The application will allow manga artists to recreate their works as a e-book for the i-Devices, complete with page-turning, bookmarks, magnification, and rotation compatibility. For an example, the Maid no Tamago (The Maid’s Egg) manga is available for download now as an e-book in both Japanese and North American markets. A similar company, Tinami, also has a doujin application for the i-Devices. However, as reported in a previous news story, many manga companies, like Viz and Tokyo Pop, are doing their best to crack down on unauthorized reproductions of their materials, so the question arises: how long before Circle.ms has to start waging ban-hammer war against those who use their application to upload other companies’ manga?

There may or may not have been a loli battle machine in the trailer, it was too fast to tell.

Black Ops, Because Modern Warfare Was Whiter Than Lusipurr

Do you like being horribly, horribly confused and left with a vaguely unsatisfied feeling? Then go have sex with any of our staff members. Or, the slightly more enjoyable option, go watch the Call of Duty Black Ops trailer that was revealed late last night. While rather pretty and full of explosions, it confirms basically nothing about the actual game, except its location… though even that is a toss up between Vietnam, South America, or the swamps of Florida. The far more interesting location is the lab shown multiple times through the trailer, in which a doctor or maybe a mad scientist talks about bringing the memories back and how much it hurts before the viewer flat-lines. Kotaku and their magical screenshot capabilities bring an interesting aspect to this: the dates in the lab appear to say 2010. Unless this is like Jenova’s Made-in-1997 helmet easter egg, then the game is spanning at least forty years from Vietnam to present day. Does this mean we are going to see a CoD Old Snake?  The game is not yet available for pre-order, but its current release date is set for November 9th, because Bobby Nodick likes your holiday money.

Asuka is just pissed she does not have Yoko's huge knockers.

Drop Your Pants and Grab Your iPhone

Fans of the anime series Gurren Lagann and Evangelion will be thrilled to know that now you can take your 2d dream girls with you wherever you go.  On Wednesday, a new application was offered not only to Japanese users, but those in the U.S. as well, allowing you to take the busty Yoko and the docile Rei wherever you go. The Yoko application will have the curvaceous teen say various phrases throughout the day and allow contacts to be managed with character icons, while the Rei application will weather forecasts to the user, with special tidbits of information about Hakone City, the real-life model for the fictional Tokyo-3.  But what if you are a fan that could care less about Eva or TTGL? Then you can be a pirate! Another lovely app released for the U.S. iPhone market this week is sure to cause quite a shitstorm, as it gives the user access to hundreds of unauthorized, translated scans from a variety of manga. Android has a similar application, but one of the primary differences between this and the iPhone application is the licensing conflicts; ‘scanlations’ are not uncommon, but many of the manga available are already licensed by North American companies. Viz Media and Yen Press already armed themselves with lawyers and prompted the application to remove titles licensed by these developers, but many others are still left to be read.

The LawL is srs bzns. Srsly.

The Governator’s War on Games in Limbo

The United States Supreme Court will be deciding this week on a case that we discussed in previous weeks… no, not the man with the loli hentai. I am talking about a case that began back in 2005 will California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed into law a bill that would fine companies $1000 for selling violent video games to minors. The Entertainment Software Association was able to get this law blocked for being a violation of 1st Amendment rights, a decision that the courts unanimously upheld. But, last May, the State of California petitioned this decision once more, insisting that certain games of no “serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value for minors” were detrimental and harmful, while the ESA countered that many equally mindless movies, even some starring the Governator, were available to minors. If the Supreme Court denies the case altogether, the original ruling against the fine would still stand. However, if the Court decides to humor California and hear the case, both sides will argue their points, while the conservative soccer moms of America wait with bated breath to see if they will legally have someone else to blame for their brat being a pain in the ass.

And all the "Old Snake needs Viagra" jokes go out the window.

Sending Grandpa…to the Netherlands!

If the Dutch have their way, you soon will be enraged to find that the sniper capping your ass is your grandmother. A study released this week shows that video games are great learning tools to enhance mental reflexes and responsiveness, with Assistant Professor at Leiden University’s Dr. Lorenza Colzato even suggesting that parents embrace games that teach their children how to make the red mist. Her argument is that in our fast-paced world, where multitasking is not just common but critical and essential for success, video games could be just the thing needed to improve the necessary mental flexibility. She also suggests that video games even be used in nursing homes, and with good reason. The correlation between idle time and mental deterioration has been proven by many other studies over the years, and while video games aren’t much more physical than simply watching TV, the mental gymnastics provided by a round of Call of Duty will still exercise the elderly mind more than watching another round of Wheel of Fortune.

Please, Gordon Freeman, save us all!

Centipedes? On my interbutts?

Two vastly different stories this week, both involving the world on online gaming. First, as we reported almost two weeks ago, Microsoft has shut down the original XBox Live servers as of April 15th. Today is the 25th, ten days later… and some losers are still on it. When the original servers were shut off, apparently they were only shut off from people ever logging back on them, it did not kick off any players that were still online. Friday had twenty-seven users left online, while today only seventeen remain, all of them playing the titular bro-du-jour game, Halo 2.  They have vowed to stay on until either their XBox refuses to keep going, or Microsoft finally gives them the boot. Only in America will you find such losers… and unfortunately, we are stuck with them! If you are excited to play the upcoming Starcraft II, hopefully you can tolerate whatever morons populate your country, as Blizzard has decided that it will be isolating players to their own regions of the world. Suck though this may, the reason is one of practicality: would you rather play a smooth functional game with your countrymen, or a laggy glitchy game with the Asian players that will kick your ass anyway? They have said that this will probably only be temporary, as they want to ensure server capabilities first, then will most likely offer a patch that will open up you up to the world. Then you can have all the Asian power-levelers kick your ass all you like, enjoy!

Oerba Dia Vanille

The panel examines the various comments left by Lusipurr.com readers in the continuing Final Fantasy XIII feature. Special guest Oliver Motok shows up to profess his love for Nate Liles, whilst Ginia and Lusipurr discuss awesome games from the past.

It may be that, at the late hour in which this column graces the cheeto-dust encrusted screens of my readers, that the problem has been resolved, that computers sit forlorn and abandoned as the sweet, digital, pixellated lifeblood seeps back into our veins through the severed artery that is/was the Great PS3 Outage of 2010.

More cynical parts of my nature wonder that, given that the disease seems to infect only the older PS3 models, this is not Sony’s nefarious way of prodding us to CONSUME ever more of their streamlined goods. Another part wonders with incredulity at a gaffe of this magnitude with no apparent explanation of just how we were caught unawares by this insectoid invader.

What are the facts? First, the outage is global. Second, it is merciless, and all new games that require the “trophy” system or some sort of call-home style DRM are affected. A proper analogy might be that our automatic keyless entry to our cars, now smart enough to recognize when thieves are attempting to pull a Vice City on our pimpmobiles, has gone into full lockdown mode. That is, security has turned against the secured.

Piracy is a problem that needs to be addressed within the gaming community: veneers of “information wants to be free!” and “freeeeedom!” (say in a Braveheart voice) only gloss over the very real fact that, as in the Sixteenth Century, piracy is a form of crime we are wont to romanticize but never really own up to.

We are the fallout of Sony's war against piracy

Speaking now as one who works in law enforcement, I understand the desire to prevent malfeasance before it occurs, as if by doing so we become the moral guardians of the public. There is a point, however, where law enforcement must simply become reactive. This seems counterintuitive: after all, it is more efficient and efficacious to stop crime from happening than it is to clean up afterward. However, the cost of such directness is often collateral, and otherwise law-abiding people (such as this author, who wishes only to virtually kill the Templar scum of Renaissance Italy) are forbidden from engaging in otherwise lawful activity not by the misdeeds of the miscreants, but through the too-heavy hand of proactive enforcement.

The answer, to both crime and piracy, is that in most cases, we cannot hold ourselves responsible for the moral failings of others. Sony, while cognizant of their duty to protect publishers and developers from lost revenue, is neither responsible for the actions of pirates nor responsible (primarily) for the enforcement of otherís property rights. Sony is, however, responsible for the experience of consumers that buy and use their consoles, and as such, the balance of loyalties ought to have favored the consumer here.

Piracy will exist as long as there are people that see breaking the law as an acceptable and cheaper alternative to paying for content. Remember, ye pirates, that the workers that made that code spent long hours in doing so to provide for themselves and their families. While some nascent populist romanticism might lead us to believe that by pirating a work we are thumbing our nose at a profit-driven establishment that cares only for profits, and not for workers and consumers, ultimately piracyís costs are borne by the workers and not by those who should feel the pinch. At some point, the never-ending escalation of draconian DRM versus self-destructing pirate must end; and as long as money is there to be made, I despair of publishers ever abandoning ever more complicated and hassling DRM schema. In a show of solidarity, let us then decide that we will not pay or utilize content that comes burdened with DRM that leads to upsetting consequences like the PS3 outage. But we gain nothing by feeding in to the system by pirating content that we would pay for but-for the existence of the DRM. At some point, we must decide that the sacrifice of playing a game we want is worth it to send a message to the companies that, financially, DRM is not a smart investment.

In other news of actual tragedies, please donate whatever you can to helping those people whose lives were devastated in the Chilean earthquake. Better our dollars spent there than on another DRM-ridden game system that breaks with the slightest provocation.

In addition to a number of their core titles (Madden, Rock Band, Sims franchises), EA Mobile has been bringing Apple’s mobile platforms a healthy dose of casual gaming as well. These include a number of board and dice games, such as Boggle. For those that have never played Boggle in any of its forms, the concept is simple: Players roll a 4 x 4 or 5 x 5 grid of lettered dice around to shuffle the letters and form as many three or more connected lettered words as they can before a timer goes off. The player receives a point for every three or four letter word and an additional point for each letter thereafter (five letters = 2 points, six letters = 7 points, etc…). The connections between letters can go in any direction – up, down, left, right, or diagonal.

Boggle for the iPhone and iPod Touch has a few different play options to choose from, with default settings and Quick Play giving players three minutes to form as many words as they can. Other option outside of Quick Play can be turned on to make the first and last letters of words spelled switch places, adding a puzzle mechanic that is as difficult to master as it is to put down.

Words formed and points earned in any mode help to unlock Achievements within the game, but since there is no multiplayer beyond Pass ‘n Play, nor any Facebook Connect functionality, these Achievements do not hold the addictive qualities that they do on other systems or even within other games on this platform. Oddly enough, the more addictive thing to peruse in-game are the Statistics – Boggle keep track of e v e r y t h i n g. One such thing is the number of Bad Guesses a player makes throughout their play history, and this is really my only gripe with the game. I have a number of bad guesses thanks to cuss words not being accepted, and that really grinds my adult gears. WAY TO SOIL MY STATS WITH LACK OF FILTH IN YOUR LEXICON.

Knowing that a game is only going to last about three minutes really gets me at the core of my love of pick-up-and-play-on-the-go-gaming. The game is priced just right (currently price $0.99 – 50% off for the holidays!) for impulses of all kinds to enjoy, despite the landlocked in-game dictionary having never developed a sailors tongue. “TITS” is acceptable though, so that is cool!

Canabalt: I have no idea what this means.

Canabalt is a lot like the type of mini-game that would be found as an unlockable in a WarioWare! title. If I had played a five second version of this game, I would definitely want a longer, fuller version of it for the sake of whipping out and playing while in line at the bank or stuck in traffic. The play mechanics are simple in both the browser version and the App available for the iPhone/iPod Touch, tap “X” or anywhere on the screen to make the players little running man jump to avoid obstacles or clear gaps between buildings, billboards, and cranes. The longer that gamers can do so, the faster and higher the little running man can run and jump, eventually hitting his stride. Hitting some obstacles like boxes and chairs only work to slow the player down while others like chunks of debris and crumbling buildings will kill the little running guy and that will be the end of that.

Gamers have an unlimited number of chances to get as far as they can in Canabalt, which helps lend that “one more game” type of addictive nature to the title. Online leader boards and local best runs are tracked and the game even allows gamers to Tweet their best efforts as means to taunt friends, though it is feature I personally do not use.

Robots attack in the distance, so why not run now?

My biggest gripe about Canabalt is also its coolest feature: Randomly Generated Levels. Each time a player starts a game up, the level is different than the last time. This will keep Canabaltists going for a while, but the randomness isn’t 100% avoidable. I can be having a great run ruined my landing on a crumbling building that is far too long to traverse and jump from before it falls completely, taking me with it.

Gripe aside, the game is as addictive as any WarioWare! mini-game could hope to be without being developed by Nintendo. Give the browser version a whirl to get an idea of how it plays, but know that the App, which is $2.99, plays silky smooth, stores 20 run records locally, and has that pick-up-and-play appeal that I find one of the most appealing prospects of owning an iPhone or iPod Touch. Saying: “For three bucks, gamers’ mileage will vary” is kind of a stupid thing to say about game where the objective is running as far as a player can, so I won’t. I will say that I put Canabalt through its paces, though, and that $3 really went the distance.
Because that is not stupid at all.

1. PixelJunk Shooter is out and I have not played it yet. I reeaaally want to.

2. Rubber Soul will be downloadable for The Beatles: Rock Band this week, and I will not be able to play that.
3. I no longer own a portable system. (crap)

Oh, but I kind of do! The iPhone.

Peggle: Worth playing at any price.

iDracula: A rare instance where virtual controls just work.

One thing that is both a blessing and a curse is its selection. The App Store is overflowing with gaming possibilities but can be a bit of a chore to work through, making it hard to really know – at a glance – what is worth it and is worthless. It is great knowing there is something available for everyone, but try finding it without knowing exactly what it is.

Rather than try to solve Apple’s problems in this area, I will focus solely on the games in my next few posts. Until then, I ask if any readers have an iPhone or iPod Touch that they game on and what they play on them to pass the time?