Explore the wonders of Shropshire!

In Everybody’s Gone to the Rapture, you play a disembodied, voiceless, featureless avatar who does not play darts, or climb fences, or drink beer. Instead, he wanders around listening in on other people’s non-linear conversations. The ‘game’ ends when you, as a player, die from boredom.

Shovel Knight for Wii U

Shovel Knight is a game that originally started with a Kickstarter campaign on 17 March, 2013, accrued over $300,000, and released on 26 June, 2014. The game has a relatively simple story that involves the titular Shovel Knight on his quest to rescue his beloved Shield Knight. However, to accomplish this task, he must go through a series of bosses not too unlike the Robot Masters who call themselves the Order of No Quarter. The game itself was developed by Yacht Club Games, a video game studio whose head, Sean Velasco, was the former director of Wayforward Technologies. Shovel Knight is a game that touts itself on its influence from retro video games, taking influences from the likes of Mega Man to Ducktales and it honestly delivers as being a game that near flawlessly takes these mechanics and turns them into a fantastic game for retro fans and new players alike.

The game’s over-world is extremely reminiscent of Super Mario Bros. 3 with each stage being selectable and enemies occasionally roaming the map. If one were to scroll over to one of these wandering enemies they will either find themselves in a mini-stage or in a boss fight. The gameplay itself is incredibly smooth and the controls are tight, it never makes the player feel as if it is the game’s fault that they died. It will either be because of human error or the sheer difficulty the game can reach in later stages, a feature that is both gradual and welcomed. Speaking of difficulty, the game has one of the best modern adaptations of retro video game difficulty so far. Rather than forcing players to start again at certain checkpoints or start the level from the beginning, the choice is in the player’s hands. Instead, players can actually destroy checkpoints within game to create their own difficulty, they are also rewarded with in-game currency for upgrades in reward for choosing a more difficult path without these checkpoints.

For Shovelry!

The actual stages within the game are both varied and exciting, each one of them having different mechanics which consistently keep the game fresh without every feeling too gimmicky as a result. Shovel Knight’s primary method of attack is, well, a shovel, which has an upgradeable forward slash as well as a Scrooge McDuck-esque bounce that is perfect for platforming on enemies. This shovel is also paired with numerous relics which can also be used in innovative ways within the stages, such as a gear that can travel across spikes and a blade that propels Shovel Knight forward in mid-air. There are no puzzles to be solved or mysteries to be explored and that is perfectly fine because the game is excellent at what it does, and that is being a platformer.

Characters in the game are not only diverse, but intriguing as well, with NPCS varying from a talking frog named Croaker who enjoys telling jokes, to a giant trout-apple hybrid king. Every NPC has a unique line of dialogue and because there are so few compared to games in a much larger scale, it feels doable to hear each one of their single lines or stories. It also helps that the actual landmarks within the games are vivid and incredibly detailed, even locations as simple as the town are extremely impressive.

Each stage has an unique feel.

The only categories that Shovel Knight really falls flat in are the music and the story, each of them feel as if they needed improvement throughout playing the game. While some tracks like “Waltz of the Troupple King” can stay in the player’s head for a day, others such as “La Dense Macabre” do not fit in as well as a background song. Meanwhile, the story is extremely bare bones, there is not much to explain besides talking about Shovel Knight fighting the Order of No Quarter in order to save Shield Knight without any spoilers, but there is not too much more to talk about aside from that. It is not as if Shovel Knight needs a flawless and captivating story in order to be successful, but it would not have hurt to add a couple more story-based scenes in the game if not solely for more world-building. Overall though, these are minor complaints for what truly is a great game, and possibly one of the greatest games from the past year.

Encounters in Shovel Knight are rendered majestically in glorious pixel art.

Shovel Knight: Plague of Shadows

Although this is a review of the main game, gamers should also be aware of the recent expansion that was released on 17 September, 2015, especially since it will be shipping out with physical copies of the game in the upcoming months. Shovel Knight: Plague of Shadows is a free expansion to the base game that stars Plague Knight, who was previously a boss in the main game. Plague Knight plays considerably differently than Shovel Knight, which is the main flaw of the expansion as a whole. Aside from a couple new screens, the game is for all intents and purposes, Plague Knight playing Shovel Knight’s stages, which does not end up working on because of how differently the two play.

While Shovel Knight is blessed enough to have a bouncing mechanic, Plague Knight instead attacks with customizable potions using a new system that can change the fuse time, attack, and angle at which the potions are thrown. This system eventually becomes more trouble than its own good as it does not feel natural to drastically change the way the player can attack for one specific boss or enemy. However, the category in which the expansion excels is the story, which is much more fleshed out than the main game and shows a level of thought put into it. The ending especially blows Shovel Knight out of the water and the new boss fights that tie in with the story also work very well. Plague Knight is revealed to have been on his own mission while Shovel Knight was busy trying to save Shield Knight, but to not give any spoilers away, the story details in this review will cut off there. The only other point worth noting is that the game has a new collectible known as “Cipher Coins” which lead to more in-game upgrades, and once all are collected, the player can receive an exclusive ability which makes the battle system in game a lot more riveting. Sadly, these factors are not enough to improve what is in total, a bad expansion pack with a couple exciting ideas, to an otherwise excellent game.

Even unencumbered by armour, Arthur clunketh along with the surefooted grace of a drunken hippopotamus.

LATTERLY, Capcom, erstwhile titan of video game development, hath fallen intro strife. Its monuments lie in ruins, its heroes of design and creativity have made good their exit, and its triumphs are near forgot by those gamers who today hold in esteem titles more visually attractive. Spectacle and show o’ercome all other concerns so that the modern gamer doth, like unto a babboon, gape and gawk with mouth all agog at the flashing and blinking lewdnesses and vices on display, ripe for perusal and, indeed, for purchase.

But, whilom, ’twas not so. For Capcom hath fallen into these pressing circumstances from lofty heights formerly occupied with a surety. Deep is the abyss into which it hath sunk–and rightly withal. For, the crimes of Capcom are severe, and none moreso than the development of Ghosts ‘n Goblins published on nearly every platform imaginable since its release to arcades in September of 1985. From that time henceforward, this world hath suffered mightily from the affliction of Ghosts ‘n Goblins blighting first one console, then another, with the advent of Virtual Consoles only worsening the matter by making available again to unwary moderns the failures of the past. Today, the hapless gamer, playing Ghosts ‘n Goblins uninformed, doubteth whether any game of the past is like to bring happiness or joy.

In the third stage, Arthur leapeth over chasms to reach the Dragon boss.

For what manner of torturework hath Capcom deserv’d its terrible fall? To be sure, brethren, the work of Ghosts ‘n Goblins is an abomination in the sight of the mighty hand which worketh all causes to the Good. From the shrieking tones of the first bars of the soundtrack, the unhappy player knoweth well that what soon shall follow bringeth no gaity. The painful, screeching noise is compounded by the high-pitched squeal–not entirely unlike that sound attendant upon the slaughter of a well-voiced swine–which cometh solely from the use of Arthur’s weapon. To this further is added sound after sound, similar in intensity and disagreeableness, the which emaneteth from the small selection of monsters that populate the game. And indeed, they are few in number. The game reuseth monsters and bosses to such a degree that nearly everything can be witnessed in the first two stages alone.

With ears shattered by the shrieking soundtrack, enemies, and weapons alike, the player may be of a mind like to quit Ghosts ‘n Goblins ere it hath hardly begun. But then the player should miss that which cometh next: six stages, replete with enemies whose movements are devis’d with a randomness taken straight out of that other work of malice, Deadly Towers E’en equipped with save states, the unfortunate gamer will discover that, each time reloaded, the monsters and game doth behave differently: sometimes so as to make the game impossible, sometimes not.

Near the end of his quest, Arthur climbeth many vertical labyrinths, fighting winged demons that he might progress.

In story alone Ghosts ‘n Goblins doth stand ahead of the other vile works of the Enemy. For, in presenting a story so brief and simplistic that it can be compass’d in the opening cutscene alone–“a devil hath taken the princess; savest her, thou knight!”–it also hath managed thereby to provide a player with all he must know. All this is typical of stage-based platformers of the era: indeed, it surpasseth that found in near predecessors. Super Mario Bros., for example, presenteth no such story hook.

But, truly lamentable are the controls, which casteth into disarray and confusion any momentary pleasure deriv’d from the story. This reviewer, who hath no small experience with yon game, was confounded for some minutes by Arthur’s propensity to kneel and remain kneeling. After increasing irritation, this reviewer did switch the very controller, only to discover that ’twas the design of the game, not any fault of the peripheral. So, too, are Arthur’s jumps fiddly, the physics undependable, the collison detection faithless, and the engine itself unstable withal.

Arthur stutteringly climbeth a ladder, only to get stuck at the top trying to disembark. Monsters shoot down the ladders and hover atop the ladders, take ten hits to kill, and idle nearby whilst the clock counteth quickly the two minutes afforded. The experience is a concatenation of frustrations layered like an onion, and just as like to coax forth tears.

Arthur confronteth Astaroth, the final boss.

As the music screecheth, and the engine stuttereth, and Arthur stumbleth, and the array of monsters weareth out its welcome, and the player wearyeth from an experience too tiresome and painful readily to be devis’d in words, still doth Ghosts ‘n Goblins wear on, like an inebriate, Australian uncle, uninvited to the family reunion, but present nevertheless. Keen to partake of a beer, and another, and another, he drinketh until–shambolic and tight as an owl–he urinateth in the urn holding the ashes of great aunt Nora. Cast out from the gathering, his departure is met with sighs of relief: ’tis enough, and he is well gone. –Until it is found, some hours later, that he hath deposited a goodly quantity of his stools right atop the plum pudding meant for the familial dessert.

This is the end of Ghosts ‘n Goblins. The boss battles, randomised between easy and impossible do, once vanquished, give way to a boss fight that can be predictably beaten in a few seconds each and every time (controls notwithstanding). The final battle is followed by the worst aspect of all–far worse than anything heretofore related. A message, improperly rendered into English, asserteth thus: that the final chamber was an illusion and that, moreover, Arthur must again assaileth the keep of the enemy, and every stage and boss withal, that the true ending might thereby be achieved.

If, at such a time, following upon such travails, the player doth not become unhinged, doth not bestir himself to the destruction of the game cartridge, doth not betake himself thence to a place of debarkation, doth not arrive in Japan seeking the demise of those responsible for the offending title, doth not commit many savage acts of gruesome and deadly murder, and doth not find himself arrested for his violent and terrible actions–then such a player hath more patience and self-control than this reviewer who even now, of consequence attendant upon the actions latterly related, languisheth as prisoner gaoled in cell, where, awaiting his own Arthur, he prayeth that he might anon be rescued.

BEWARE: that potted plant WILL fall on your head if you walk underneath.

The game beings with a MIDI version of some generic, fast-paced cartoony song. A song one would normally hear during a goofy sequence in an old cartoon. One that fits perfectly into the world of Roger Rabbit. It makes the player feel that maybe this could be a good licensed game. Very few of them exist, especially for the NES. However, the player is then greeted by two horrible looking sprites meant to be Eddie Valiant and Roger Rabbit themselves. In fact, this author had to stare at the screen for a few moments before realizing that the brown blob shaped object on the left of the screen was meant to be Valiant. Bob Hoskins definitely was not in the best shape, but he was actually shaped like a human. This is not the only confusing sprite to be found in the game. None of the humans have facial features, many of the animals look similar, and pretty much everything is brown. People are brown, except for their clothing which is almost always one solid color (nobody wears a lime-green shirt AND lime green pants. NOBODY.). All of the collectable items and animals are brown. Not different shades of brown, just the same exact color. Not a pretty brown either. This is especially confusing since Roger himself looks very similar to the character in the movie, very detailed and colorful. Almost as if 99% of this game’s graphic budget was just put towards his design. Even some of the backgrounds are brown, making items or animals disappear behind the random NPC walking around town. Oh, and those animals want nothing to do than to kill Valiant at every opportunity. This gets to be very frustrating when the controls and gameplay do not do any good in trying to avoid being attacked.

The gameplay consists of the player controlling Valiant as he investigates the mystery of who framed Roger for the murder. However, his investigation skills are a bit sketchy, as all he really does is search random desk drawers and garbage cans for crowbars, wallets, and bombs. This is where the frustration over the controls begins because to search these objects the player must be in a specific area of the item to actually search it. This causes the player to button mash while walking up and down an item until the search pattern begins. There is also no on-screen animation from Valiant while he is searching. He only turns his back to the player and the word “Searching” appears at the top of the screen. The results of which are either text saying the item is empty or an object the player found. These items, such as the crowbars and bombs, are used to either distract or attack the various enemies littered throughout the game. These items are found in random apartments and office buildings located around the game’s map. All of which have some random NPC aimlessly walking around in them. All of which do not really care that Valiant is rifling through their personal belongings, only yelling at him if the player punches. However, do not bother actually trying to use the items, as most of the enemies will spawn in areas on the screen that will not give the player enough time to use said items. What makes matters worse is that the game does not pause when the player scrolls through his or her items list to find the correct one to use, making Valiant open to any and all attacks. This author’s favorite enemies are probably the vultures that swoop down and attack during the overworld exploration sequences. They will swoop down, grab Roger, and fly away. Causing Valiant to fall over on his back for some reason. The reason for this is never explained.

This game made me gag.

Valiant can also punch enemies to attack them. However, just like the items, it does not really do anything as the enemies are usually too fast to allow the player to gather Valiant’s strength to attack or the enemies are too low to the ground. Valiant can also speak to the random NPCs walking around the world for hints and tips about where to go next or if a certain building has any items left in it. This can get a bit confusing at first, as the text screen for both Valiant and the NPC look almost exactly the same, the only difference being a cloud quickly appearing from the character’s head to their corresponding text box. However, this cloud disappears very fast so the player must not look away or blink during these times. Here is a pro tip: Valiant’s text box is always the one asking, “Can you help me?” That is all he ever asks. Another find investigation skill from this crack P.I.! The game also features a minigame in which the Toon Patrol, a quintet of cartoon weasels working to actively stop Valiant and Roger from finding the truth, randomly capture Roger and Valiant must give them the correct punchline to a joke. This includes such “hilarious” jokes as “What tuba can’t you play? A tuba toothpaste.” If the reader now needs to gather himself or herself from that side-splitting joke, please do so. This review will still be waiting when one returns.

One of the most confusing aspects of this game is Valiant’s animation when he is injured. As mentioned previously there are multiple types of hazards in this game: dogs, cats, rats, and even falling potted plants. It also seems that the damage these hazards do to Valiant is random. A cat can attack him and do nothing but slow the player’s progression down a bit, but a falling plant will knock Valiant to the ground where he will sit there shaking his fist in a very cartoony way. This is followed by the loss of a health bar, indicated by movie clapperboards in this game. Roger will constantly follow Valiant around, however the player does not control him. This does not mean Roger cannot be attacked, as he is often flattened by the random car or attacked by the same enemies Valiant must avoid. However, when Roger is attacked he just falls face-first to the ground and gets up a few seconds later. This less comical animation is confusing, as Roger is the cartoon character and Valiant is the human being. Perhaps the developers were trying to make a statement about the subtle differences between us and cartoons? Perhaps not, as this game is garbage. More likely, the developer just did not care enough about this game.

Ah, yes the game PERFECTLY captures the movie’s ending fight between Valiant and Judge Doom.

The only good thing about this game is the music. Which, to be honest, is not even that good to begin with. It is all MIDI songs that sound like any generic song one would hear in a videogame, and they all repeat over and over. The beginning title talked about at the top of this review sounds like something one would find in any random old cartoon. The song that plays while Valiant explores buildings sounds like something out of a detective movie, but it plays in EVERY building both inside and out. There is also a song that plays while exploring the game’s overworld that sounds like something out of a Final Fantasy game: very fast paced and does not match the game whatsoever. This author now realizes that not even the music is good in this game. There is nothing good about this game.

Overall this game is complete garbage. The “story” only vaguely follows the plot of the movie. The graphics are so bad that everything pretty much looks the same, but that does not matter as the gameplay is so bad nobody will want to play this for more than five minutes. The controls also make no sense and often hinder the player from completely whatever dumb objective he or she is meant to do, which is also never really explained. The most fun that can be had out of this game is to make fun of it, but that quickly vanishes as the game will slowly suck the lift out of the player the more it is played. For anyone who is a fan of the original movie stay far away from this title. For those looking for a crappy game to make fun of: enjoy it at one’s own risk.

A view from without the castle…

Sometimes, it is easy to know where to begin with a review: what angle to take–what approach to consider. Sometimes, a game makes such a bold statement that it impresses itself firmly in the mind of the reviewer from square one and, when it comes time to pen the review, the fixtures of the mind are readily transferred to the page. Sometimes, this is the case. Sometimes–but not this time. For, as in its gameplay, Milon’s Secret Castle defies an easy review, throwing up unforeseen problems of scope and intent.

Following on the review of Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, it is initially difficult to know what precisely to say about Milon’s Secret Castle. After all, the games share a number of similarities typical of average and below-average NES games of the mid-1980s. Like Deadly Towers, both games rely upon the instruction manual to deliver the balance of the storyline; both have a limited palette for music, graphics, and sounds; both games under-deliver in their conclusions. Broadly speaking, they are similarly poor. But a closer investigation reveals that Milon’s Secret Castle is not merely poor–it is in fact a catastrophic failure. More Deadly Towers than Adventure of Link, the truth is that decisions made in the development of Milon’s Secret Castle destroy any potential for fun that originally existed in the game.

Shop prices are exactly set for those who pick up every money block…

Milon’s Secret Castle presents itself to the player as another directionless wanderfest–a Deadly Towers-esque paean to being lost in a Norman Castle with an interior designed by a cracked-out M. C. Escher. Driven to the edge of sanity after huffing pots of Crayola paint, the famed designer of Mobius staircases smashed his face repeatedly against a 1980s-era Amstrad until the system, yielding in surrender, belched forth Hudson Soft’s exploration-platformer. In the vein of Metroid, the player must explore an open game world, collecting items and defeating bosses to advance. But, unlike Metroid, the platforming lacks any sense of finesse, the weapons are inexact and feeble, and the navigation of the game world is hampered by the deadly stupidity of Deadly Towers

As in the Broderbund-published scheissegamen, maze rooms once entered cannot be exited from their entry point. The doorways disappear, and the player must find the exit elsewhere in the level. Worse still, in a nod to Deadly Towers, the exits are invisible and must be found by shooting the main character’s bubblegun until the doorway is revealed. But the bubblegun is inexact, sometimes failing to caclulate hits on targets that are struck directly. And, as if this were not enough to be getting on with, the developers of Milon’s Secret Castle evidently believed that Deadly Towers was just too soft on gamers. Therefore, even if the exit to a room is found, players must find a key (also hidden) in order to use the doorway.

Enemies cannot be permanently defeated: they respawn continuously from the places in which they met their bubble-delivered ends. There is no way to block their projectile attacks (although a shield, granted by the Hudson bee, can mitigate some damage). Moreover, many enemies simply cannot be harmed. Fast moving, and hurling projectiles which travel through walls, they can only be avoided. And, should the player be struck, then damage is incurred constantly–there is no cooldown. Here, once again like Deadly Towers, being struck in the wrong place can result in an instant and frustratingly nigh-unavoidable death.

In the ‘secret’ stages, protective items are very important…

Boss design ranges from winged rabbits belching fireballs, to winged bird-dragons belching fireballs, to winged griffalizards belching fireballs. The pattern of the fireballs do not change; the movements of the bosses do not change; the tactics used to defeat the bosses do not change; the rewards for completing a boss fight do not change. In effect, one boss has been reused, with a slightly different appearance, for every boss fight in the game. In another game, this would be a downside. But, in Milon’s Secret Castle, it is a positive boon, allowing the player more rapidly to complete the game and terminate the experience of suffering through such a pile of dross.

The music is reminiscent of a town fair calliope as performed on a four-channel FM synth, if it were orchestrated by the people behind 21st-century comedy double act Bieber and Gaga. The steady waltz-tempo is like a sonic drill wielded by the nemesis of Music herself. Lady Dischord, sitting down to pen a soundtrack, could scarce have created a more violently antagonising collection of ditties. –For this is what they are: not musical compositions, but jingles fit for television screens, backing talking cartoon animals who purvey insurance, laxatives, and colourful synthetic snackfoods. If the purpose of the soundtrack were to summon up an image of a nauseating and vibrantly-coloured Capitalist dystopia, then it has succeeded marvelously.

The rewards for completion are scant…

Even the mere recollection of the music fills this reviewer with a desire to purchase gooey green globs of arteficially-flavoured gloop. The 3/4 lyrics rapidly may be imagined: You like goop? We like goop! Want some goop? Eat some goop! As for the sounds: what sounds? Were there sounds? This reviewer’s only memory is of the British voice in his head, no doubt a product of traumatic psychosis, which directed him from floor to floor using X,Y-style coordinates unsupported by the game itself–coordinates impossible to visualise based on the limited amount of the level shown on the screen and the lack of any sort of in-game map. “Begone, accursed interlocutor!” this valiant reviewer occasionally shouted at the voice, until it finally submitted, declaring vengefully, “Okay, Lusi. I won’t be around for the podcast this weekend, but maybe we can play some Borderlands on Tuesday.”

The difficulty of Milon’s Secret Castle is perhaps overstated. Deeply frustrating, it nevertheless includes the ability to freely continue–although the arcane means by which this is done (purchasing an item and then, after a game over, holding left whilst pressing Start on the title screen) is not explained in the game. That said, the game’s constantly-respawning enemies and unforgiving collision damage are harsh, even for the experienced gamers who are willing patiently to search every single block of each level, looking for keys, doors, and vitally important, life-increasing honeycombs.

There are worse games on the Nintendo Entertainment System than Milon’s Secret Castle, but although it is in many respects a stunningly inferior title, it has glaring flaws of design sufficient enough to render the experience more punishing than potentially-rewarding. As a creation of presumably rational men, it stings more of malice than mediocrity, with design choices that punish whilst adding nothing. Coupled with a soundtrack that may have sprung directly from the mind of a nightmarish clown, and with enemy encounters as uninspired as last week’s meatloaf, there is little enough to recommend Milon’s Secret Castle to any but the most curious and intrepid of gamers. In the end, the verdict is unequivocal: Milon’s Secret Castle should remain a secret.

Monsters appear if Link leaves the road.

In spite of what a certain, whimsically-named Australian may declare from deep within the entanglement of a sudsy, beer-afflicted worldview, Zelda II: The Adventure of Link is a bad game. Moreover, it is one of the worst games ever misrepresented as a great game. Zelda fans may claim that it is misunderstood; they may claim that critique of it has to do with reading modern expectations onto a title released in 1987; they may claim that disappointment stems from it being different than the original The Legend of Zelda. In that latter point alone they can be accused of having hit upon the edge of a corner of a shard of the truth. For, there are obviously great differences between the two titles, and the greatest difference of all is that The Legend of Zelda is a good game.

When the game begins, Link finds himself standing before Zelda, who is asleep on a bed. Walking out into the world, directionless, he may wander hither and yon seeking some method of advancement or guidance in his quest to wake the sleeping princess. However, the restricted capacity of NPC text means that anyone Link encounters will provide, at best, only vague and cryptic advice. Many players, befuddled by the formless nature of Link’s quest, quit the the game at an early stage–oh, fortunate, happy players!–never progressing beyond the first palace.

But if one is burdened with the task of finishing the game at all costs, and if one is similarly burdened with a bevy of staff members bearing poorly-written FAQs from the internet, then excuses about a lack of direction simply will not do. And, consequently, my investigation of the game progressed apace for the first time in five years, when this reviewer last played and completed the title. Surprisingly, despite the entirely negative memory of that experience, this most recent playthrough of Zelda II managed to be even more aggravating, frustrating, and genuinely horrible.

Bosses range from (relatively easy) HorseKnights…

Zelda II may be a directionless wanderfest, but the actual difficulty of the game stems from the primitive RPG-style experience system combined with enemy encounters. Enemies, when first encountered, tend to be very difficult. Orange knights, for example, attack at two heights, and Link must be standing or ducking in order to parry the thrust properly. Red knights are the same, except faster, requiring white-knuckle, split-second reflexes in order to avoid taking significant damage. Finally, Blue Knights are not only faster and stronger, but their attacks are ranged, so they can hit Link at a great distance, making even advancing towards these foes incredibly irritating (the knights often endeavour to stand just out of the range of Link’s pathetic butter knife).

Spoon-throwing mumu-clad men hurl scarlet flatware at Link as he runs through caverns and palaces filled with Stalfos (skeletons) and Bots (slimes). Pursued still farther, he will encounter floating head enemies of the sort found in Mario and Castlevania games, and at the end of his adventure will additionally encounter–inexplicably–Bird Men, who tumble through the air with circus-like aplomb, hurling daggers whilst remaining infuriatingly impenetrable to the weary thrusts of the green-clad Hylian. Without the assistance of rapid-loading save states or a rewind feature, Zelda II would be an exercise in anger-management, with players of a choleric disposition likely surrounded by the wreckage of many controllers, shattered in a pique of rage.

In a stark contrast with the monsters found in the course of exploration, the boss encounters in Zelda II tend towards being very easy, with each fight having an exploitable mechanic. Carrock (Giant Wizzrobe) is the easiest of the lot, and can be defeated simply by kneeling in a corner and reflecting its attacks back at it until it dies. The most difficult fights are those which are most similar to difficult enemy encounters: the Knight on Horseback, for example, is very easy whilst mounted–but, when dismounted, becomes simply another annoying Blue Knight, which must be defeated with split second reflexes, and quite a bit of luck, to avoid damage. Consequently, the difficulty of the game pitches and yaws more than storm-tossed ship: this reviewer had to repeat a temple because the traversing thereof left insufficient life to complete the boss fight–but the boss fight itself was quite easy at full life. And, in a move reminiscent of Deadly Towers, Zelda II brings back the concept of reappearing enemies that can hit Link the moment he walks through a door.

You really are a hero for completing this game.

The graphics of Zelda II are roughly average for 1987. All areas of gameplay tend to be visually repetitive, but this was not uncommon in 1987 (although better had certainly been achieved on the NES by that point). A similar explanation will suffice for the music: the anthems employed are aurally interesting, but their repetition and a lack of diversity in the soundtrack means that even the best themes (the temple music) quickly overstay their welcome–especially given the amount of time that must be spent, occasionally, in a single area. This reviewer spent more than an hour in some of the temples–upwards of two hours in one–and the music, on repeat throughout, had the shine knocked right off of it.

The storyline–traditionally a focus of later Zelda games–suffers a lack of development: there is no story to carry the player through the experience. Like the original The Legend of Zelda, the sequel is a series of dungeons which must sustain the story delivered in a scrolling introduction on the title screen. This was understandable in the original game, which had no towns and few NPCs with whom to interact. But in the sequel, it makes less sense: there are numerous towns and scores of NPCs, and yet no one seems even remotely interested in the curse that afflicts their princess. Instead, Link dutifully performs the task cusorily assigned to him in the introduction, and this alone must carry the player though a long, difficult, and tiresome experience.

Many games from the NES era have not aged well. Zelda II disappointed players when it was originally released and, nearly thirty years later, little has changed: lacking the sophistication of design found in other Zelda series games, and with a style of gameplay that focuses attention upon the game’s shortcomings, rather than a style that would minimise those drawbacks, Zelda II: The Adventure of Link remains a bad game in design if not in execution. Diehard fans of the Zelda series may be content to heap praise upon Zelda II without ever actually having to shift their arses and play the game themselves, but the simple reality is that the experience is not only tiresome, but–no thanks to the game’s incredibly short ending sequence!–deeply unfulfilling as well. There are plenty of Zelda adventures worth experiencing, but The Adventure of Link is best left unexplored.

There is exploration in Axiom Verge.

On 6 August, 1986, Nintendo released Metroid for the Nintendo Entertainment System. At that moment, platform exploration games advanced in a way comparable to that which RPGs would experience following the release of Final Fantasy and Dragon Warrior. Years later, now-classic games like Super Metroid and Castlevania retained the core Metroid game mechanics in their own evolutions of the genre, and Axiom Verge follows in that noble tradition, both in adhering to the core gameplay mechanics available in Metroid, and in presenting new innovations which enhance the already-solid gameplay experience. The result is a blend of new and old which is at once refreshing and nostalgic. It seems prudent to add that, should an enterprising reader now begin downloading Axiom Verge from the PlayStation Network, the download will most likely be completed before this review is carefully read in full.

Some of the bosses are so large that the camera must zoom out in order to display them in full.

The plot of Axiom Verge is one respect in which significant advancement has been made since the release of Metroid. A cinematic sequence introduces the player both to the main character, Trace, and to the circumstances leading up to his exploration of a strange, alien world. There is more than a little of Another World and Blaster Master here, and the game thus aligns itself with these classic narratives from the beginning of gameplay, whilst arriving in the alien world itself connects the player to the opening moments of Metroid. Classic gamers will revel in this connexion with beloved games of yesteryear, whilst younger gamers will find in the opening moments of Axiom Verge a vehicle by which the player is swiftly involved in gameplay. There are no lengthy tutorials or long plot expostulation designed to ensure that even blockheads are following the story. Instead, Trace is given a gun and a world to explore: the rest is up to the player. Nor is the need for exploration limited to the world; each boss is a similar challenge–the weak points and strategies must be discovered and mastered until victory is obtained.

Elsenova and Trace converse.

Although Trace is mostly on his own as he explores the world, he does receive occasional guidance from a gigantic, feminine cyborg named Elsenova. Apart from journal notes scattered and hidden throughout the world, it is Elsenova who fills in background details and gives Trace directions, albeit in broken, stilted English–a reference to the damaged nature of her components. Trace will, over the course of the game, aid Elsenova and her associates by repairing their damage and fighting off the gigantic bosses which infest their world. He will also learn more about Athetos, and the plague which ravaged the humans, leaving behind glitch-like fields which now impede his progress. Only as Trace acquires new equipment can he continue: jumping boots, grappling hooks, and a de-glitching gun are amongst the items that the careful explorer will find hidden–sometimes behind destructible or false walls. It is wise to explore thoroughly, lest valuable upgrades be overlooked.

Not all friendly mushrooms are named Toad.

Despite the presence of the story throughout, Axiom Verge never takes itself too seriously: in fact, its story delivery is most akin to a lighter version of that found in Metroid Prime, with background material delivered through notes and the occasional data console. As such, it never feels overwrought or overburdened: there is an absence of pretense which is all the more refreshing compared to the deadly earnest with which modern cheese-tastic stories are delivered by stilted voice actors. The small cast of characters quickly become familiar, and the world is fleshed out historically as the player explores geographically. Everything fits together snugly: it never feels as if the story is being forced upon the player, but neither does it fade into silent meaninglessness. Gamers will want to avoid the by-now habitual practise of pressing X to skip through what is usually meaningless blather, because in Axiom Verge, it is meaningful dialogue instead.

The surface is as inhospitable as the caves.

Lest it be thought that the music is forgettable, suffice to say it is not. Nominally an 8-bit soundtrack, the score to Axiom Verge has also benefitted from the technological developments of the modern era. Vocal samples and percussive drum effects flesh out a soundtrack which suits the world of the game admirably. And, although the soundtrack never quite reaches the lofty heights of Metroid or Castlevania‘s very best tracks, it also does not fall far beneath them. Audiophiles may find it difficult to recall the main themes of the game once separated from the software by distance and time, but when seated before the television set, immersed in the experience, it is not uncommon to find oneself humming along with electronic melodies that connect the gamers of 2015 directly to those of 1985. The aesthetic and narrative choices of Axiom Verge have been lovingly crafted and polished to pay such an homage, and in this regard it delivers again and again without fail.

Weapons of every variety aid Trace on his mission.

With a vast array of weapons and power-ups, a huge world which is rewarding to explore, scores of hidden items, a soundtrack which fits perfectly, and an engaging storyline, it is hard to find anything about Axiom Verge which fails to live up to expectations. Too often, hype is built for a title to the point that its release cannot but fail to disappoint. This time, however, the promises have all come good. Axiom Verge‘s challenges are finely tuned, with Normal mode presenting a difficulty roughly on par with that of Super Metroid, and a Hard mode available at start. Frequent save points and the ‘return to save’ nature of death avoid the undoing of exploration whilst not removing all the costs of failure. A Speedrun mode is also available. The passwords of past platforming adventure games (JUSTIN BAILEY) have their place, too: they are now a part of the game mechanics, giving Trace new abilities and powers as they are entered and activated. In short, nothing of value has been overlooked; no rough edges remain unpolished.

When all is accounted, Axiom Verge is the kind of game that comes along once in a decade or more: it is both a faultless homage to the classic Metroid-style platforming-exploration games of the past, and also a glittering triumph all of its own which surpasses the achievements of earlier titles. It would have been easier for Tom Happ to have made a game that reached no farther than Metroid or Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, and such a game would have served well, would have pleased well, would have sold well, would have satisfied. But Happ has gone farther–he has innovated, not iterated–and the result is a timeless experience which delivers now as it will deliver again when it is inevitably replayed. Axiom Verge is therefore the best kind of retro game: one that deserves to be played not because it merely copies the classics, but rather because it is itself a classic, fit to stand alongside Metroid, Castlevania, and Blaster Master, with which it will remain a source of fun and inspiration in the years and decades to come.

Bloodborne Boxart

After the release of a very derivative sequel to From Software’s and Hidetaka Miyazaki’s Dark Souls, there came early press releases of a new successor. This one would be a Sony exclusive, Demons Souls 2 in all but name, and right from the first images it was clear the series was taking a new direction. The stagnant nature of Dark Souls 2, which Miyazaki did not work on in full capacity, no doubt informed the drastic changes seen to the formula in his newest effort, Bloodborne. The lessons to be learned from a game that did not have its own identity, from a game that tried to capture as many outside successes as possible into an amalgam, was to generate as distinct a flavor as possible for the next game. The result was not produced without its sacrifices, but they were all for the greater good of the most refined experience to be had on the PlayStation 4 to date. Bloodborne, more than most games, knows precisely what it wants to be and how it will proffer itself to the player when adversity after adversity is thrown down the pike.

Bloodborne is a dense package in almost every aspect of its design, with visuals being the best example. The opening locale of Yharnam is crammed to bursting with detail and overwrought Gothic style structures. The atmosphere is conveyed well in this way, as the entire city appears as an oppressive maze of stonework. Indeed one of the more potent enemies in the game is the environment, and Yharnam proves at every turn to be an intimidating one. As the game slowly introduces story concepts of sanity and makes repeated references to an “Eldritch Truth”, the architectural design of Yharnam begins to echo those themes. Every building, from a small personal residence to one of the dozens of towering cathedrals is replete with spires, fluted stonework, stained glass windows, vaulted ceilings, and all crammed into such proximity that many of these rich details are obscured by yet more rich detail. Yharnam is the architectural equivalent of a long word missing all of its vowels, just a string of hard sounds given no room to breathe. This reviewer could sometimes not suss out the admirable qualities of this design from the absolute lunacy of it, but was more than apt to forgive any personal annoyance at specific instances in favor of the bigger picture. The city’s cramped, albeit highly detailed, structure calls upon visions of a living sewer, the kind that once helped spread plagues across Europe. And true to the game’s name, there is indeed a plague to be spread here.

Whereas previous Miyazaki games themed themselves around Souls, collecting them or defending against them, Bloodborne takes a more steampunk and scientific approach by being themed around blood and the vague process of ministration. Whatever it entails, either simple blood letting or transfusing, the process is widely popular among Yharnamites (an admittedly laughable genitive), and would seem responsible in part for the predicament at large. To wit, upon the player’s arrival the city is under lock down in observance of something called The Hunt. During this time, society seems to wick out the worst and sickest of its kind, those deranged by some compelling lunar force not unlike old werewolf tales, while the sane shut themselves up in incensed houses for the night. The player takes the unwitting role of a Hunter, charged with culling the monsters that now roam the streets and either abetting or avoiding other troubled Hunters. From there, the story takes many turns and fanciful twists that are best pieced together firsthand. Suffice it to write only that Miyazaki’s games are not ones to enlighten players more than they are to charge them with figuring out a narrative puzzle. What might be considered obtuse for lack of competency tends usually to seat itself on the better part of intrigue. Finding the missing pieces to this puzzle outside the game in online communities can be fun should the curiosity strike.

Lamp Posts function similarly to Bonfires in previous games.

In practice, the game operates much like its predecessors which should come as little surprise. An offhand and a mainhand weapon are employed, as before, except this time around there exist no shields to reasonably protect from attacks. In an attempt to keep the pace of the game much faster and much more skill based than in previous entries, Miyazaki has ditched the defensive options afforded in the other games for one reliant on dodging. With the removal of weight limits, and indeed of traditional dodge-rolling, the character is made much more nimble at all times. Stamina, the governing stat that allows everything from attacking to running and “quickstepping”, has been made more plentiful in response to this greater demand of the resource. With no true way to deflect blows, players must focus on reading enemy attacks and knowing when and where to quickstep to avoid a swift demise. The previous Souls games could be played in such a manner and, despite my own attestations about giving players more choices in how to tackle these challenges by either being offensive or defensive, it is clear that Bloodborne was never meant to play host to such options. The proper way to encounter a foe is either learned or it is not learned, there is a very limited capacity to muddle through the mechanics newly added to this game.

Chief among those new mechanics is the addition of a firearm. Initially it seems an empowering item until upon closer examination it proves a slow and weak tool for directly applying damage. Like as with parrying with a shield in the previous three games by pressing L2 at the moment an enemy strikes, firing a shot to interupt an attack will lead to a staggered foe and an attack of opportunity. Then pressing R1 directly in front of the target will produce a “Visceral Attack” not unlike the Ripostes of the earlier games. The risk and reward for executing this maneuver are ramped up as bullets are in limited supply, guns are generally slow to fire, and defensive capacities of characters are more limited overall. Armor sets found or purchased throughout the game no longer include a range of light to heavy options, but a general selection of longcoats and robes that offer varying degrees of physical and elemental damage reduction. Players should not expect to be one-shot by opponents, but neither should they too often plan on being struck by any attack. However, another new mechanic does exist that helps to reward the more aggressive play style fostered by all of these changes, and that is the Regain system. Upon losing some health from any source, be it an enemy attack or simply fall damage, striking a foe will replenish some of that lost health up to a certain point. The stronger the attack, the more health is regained. This opens the game up to allow some trading of blows between opponents instead of continued sidestepping, although boldness is only rewarded so much. The game still asks a measure of calmness of the player, as well as some light inventory management. The primary method for healing is now Blood Vials, consumables dropped by some enemies that can be held to a maximum of twenty after which the remainder are held in a hubworld storage chest inside the Hunter’s Dream.

The Hunter’s Dream is the hubworld through which all other locations are accessed.

The Hunter’s Dream makes up one of the other two major gameplay aspects of Bloodborne, and that is the return to a hubworld design as it was in Demon’s Souls. Unconnected extant worlds are accessed via tombstone-like alters that place the player at the analogue to a Bonfire in past games, the Lamp Post. Lamp Posts function little more than respawn points and warp points as all inventory and leveling duties must be carried out in the hubworld. Insight, roughly similar to Humanity in games past, is used to buy special items and summon or invade other players in online modes and is gained by defeating or encountering bosses. Further lending itself to the psychological horror roots of the plot, Insight is also tied to a debuff called Frenzy that attacks the mind by overwhelming it about Truths apparently lethal to learn. The higher a player’s carried Insight, the more susceptible they are to this particular attack, which exists as a masterful example of blending in story with gameplay in meaningful ways.

And finally there exist the Trick Weapons, Bloodborne‘s greatest front facing change to gameplay. These are otherwise normal melee weapons, many with exact copied movesets from the previous games, but with the ability to transform into alternate versions. In essence, every weapon is two weapons, which usually involve a weaker long-reaching form and a stronger short range form. Switching between both forms during combat to take advantage of each forms’ strengths is a rewarding mechanic that encourages deep familiarization with a specific weapon. Unlike in the past where weapons might be ditched in favor of a newer better one, there are no real similarities between weapons in Bloodborne as each is worthy in its own right despite the overall stable of weapons being smaller this time around. Learning and focusing on using just one or two weapons is the ideal strategy, especially given the very limited number of upgrade catalysts used to improve their stats, and goes hand in hand with the more refined and narrow focus of the game. Weapons can be upgraded with several found items, some of which can be freely slotted and unslotted at will to boost specific parameters, and this holds true for the firearms as well. Some diversification is possible when choosing character stats to level, either Strength or Arcane or Skill, and these proficiencies can impact which weapons can be wielded, but the general play strategy is the same throughout. Close confrontations, a heavy emphasis on reading the opponent and knowing when to move in for a kill, are required of all players as there exist no ranged or tank options.

The cityscape of Yharnam is crammed with more detail than rightfully makes sense.

To round out the offer, Bloodborne also includes the ancillary Chalice Dungeons. These randomized dungeons offer extended replayability beyond the usual New Game + option, and pit the player against foes in constantly changing environments. They seek to emulate that first-time experience where nothing is yet memorized, enemy placements are not expected, and environmental hazards must be cautiously surveyed. But in the end it is just an emulation of that experience as the randomized nature of these dungeons mean the level design is not up to par with the normal content, the visual appeal is that of a generic dank dungeon and all of the rich lore is missing from the experience. The rewards for participating in these challenges are similarly sub-par, often just crafting ingredients used in generating more challenging Chalice Dungeons. Better variants of pre-existing weapons do await in the deeper depths of the dungeons, as to unique enemies and bosses, but they will not come until many repeated encounters and dull rewards later. Their inclusion does not hurt what is otherwise on offer, they are thankfully a completely optional affair, and stand almost to highlight the difference between the tightly designed nature of Bloodborne-proper and a more generic offering.

But as with anything, there are some grey skies to be found. Load times are arduous in some instances, especially given the game’s difficulty. It can be a common occurrence to return to and lose to a difficult boss encounter in less time than it takes for the system to load back into the game world upon death. At about forty-five seconds, not including the “You Died” screensplash, players are left staring at a Bloodborne logo for nearly a minute in most instances of failure. Assurances of a future patch to aid in these load times eliminates any fanciful ideas that this was an intentional punishment and not systemic of the game’s design or the hardware to which it is tied. The fidelity of the game is also a fair target of criticism, as the graphical leap over previous games is marginal at most. With some very pronounced framerate and pop-in issues, especially if the player is adept at running through large areas of the game, make the game look like a technical early-generation title. After over two years of the console being on the market, a PlayStation 4 exclusive should not be protected by such umbrellas as “early gen” or “launch title” any longer. As well, online connectivity can be spotty and online interactions sparse even now in the height of its popularity. While not an online-centric game, issues with Bloodborne servers can potentially result in small amounts of lost progress as a drop-out means being booted back to the main menu. As a final gentle jab, as all of these complaints have been thus far quite minor, the difficulty tends to waffle about with some later boss encounters being forgettably easy while others are entirely ruthless. There seems to be little reason for it behind the inherent difficulty in designing a satisfying boss encounter, which is a shame given the consistently masterful quality of the rest of the game.

Werewolves are among the tamer monstrosities in this game.

To say the difficulty of this game has been increased over previous entries in the loosely connected series is a bit less accurate than to say the difficulty has been changed. What is asked of the player is not always more but is instead a very different thing entirely. In place of a methodical high-fantasy “sword and board” affair, there now exists an action oriented steampunk game that tests reflexes a bit more than preparatory skill. Doubtless many of these curve balls were thrown to shake up the long-time Souls fan, but the boldness of them should not go understated. In the rising popularity of the series, as with many other popular series, the fanbase began attaching itself to memes and smugly self-referential aspects that Dark Souls 2 was all too willing to oblige. Bloodborne wipes the chaff off of the table to get back to what matters, and it is ultimately the cornerstone of its success as a game. It set a goal and a purpose for the kind of game it was to be, without taking notes from previous sessions of creativity or from the uncritical demands of fandom, and set pen to paper on fulfilling a vision. This is precisely the kind of game that can be produced by a vision, by a true creative talent, and not one to be emulated by selecting popular mechanics. The result is a game that respects the player with a proper blend of using what has worked in the past with foundationally new additions. It is a more intelligent product for it, and thus demands that it be consumed intelligently.

The Hunter’s Dream. The hubworld. I didn’t get much further than this.

On my way to my desk at the Lcom headquarters yesterday morning I was given a letter from a “B”, addressed only to “you”. The letter was actually an empty envelope, sealed nevertheless. When checking my work email I noticed a very similar item in my inbox, with the subject “you”, and no message. It was sent from Bup’s account. I responded asking what it was that he wanted, to which he immediately replied “My turn. Your assignment: review Bloodborne Handicapable Mode.”

I was about to ask what that meant but he sent another message before I could send mine, “It’s Handicapable Month, so to appeal to our differently-abled readership [his emphasis], you have to write a review of Bloodborne that would appeal to a disabled reader. Like a blind guy. Blind review.”

I tried to explain that not only was I already composing a Bloodborne review, but that a review from the perspective of a blind person for blind people would surely go unappreciated in written form, for various reasons. To this, and other repeated entreaties on his sanity, I only got the continued reply “DEADLINE, DOLLAR SIGN!” I took that as a threat of some kind.

So without further ado, my “blind review” of Bloodborne:

Affixing a sleeping mask around my eyes, I turned on the PS4 from rest mode, which thankfully booted directly into the game. From there I waited for some kind of audio feedback from the game. I had loaded my New Game+ file, so I was back in the Hunter’s Dream hubworld. The music, I had realized for the first time, is quite somber. It had been in the back of my mind throughout my initial playthrough, but I had not noticed it so clearly until now. It is very low-key, with some chanting and distant female vocals that eventually get accompanied by a string section. A soft breeze can be heard running through the branches of the trees that I knew where there from prior experience.

Walking tentatively ahead, I heard my character’s footsteps upon the cobble walkway of the small terrace that comprises the hubworld. I could not tell if I had walked up against a wall, so I decided to press X to see if I could interact with something nearby. I heard a menu noise. Pressing the d-pad up and down made another noise, which confirmed for me I was now scrolling through some kind of menu. Pressing X again produced the warping sound I had grown familiar with, and then silence.

This guy’s a toughie with NO visual feedback!

The load times are significant enough that I had wondered, without benefit of sight, if I had turned off the console somehow. Eventually some new sounds rose up, and I could tell I was loaded in to another area. Moving forward made it clear I was walking on a wooden floor, perhaps the first area of the game. This would persist for some time, the area’s sparse audio-scape giving few clues—save for an eerie baby cry in the distance, another thing I had not noticed initially—until I heard a growl.

It was likely the first enemy of the game, I had managed to navigate my way around the sick beds to where the lone werewolf creature was poised to introduce players to the basics of the game. As a fully equipped level 77 character, I felt at least mildly confident I could survive. Pressing L1 to check, by sound alone, which form my Ludwig’s Sword was in, I confirmed I had it in its greatsword form, for maximum range and damage output. I went for gold, I pressed R2 and forward on the left control stick to perform a jumping strike. If I could land it, it should one-shot the target. The loud thud of the weapon on wood made me uncertain of my success, especially since it was not accompanied by a beastly cry of any sort. Instead, all I got was a series of loud swiping noises, some frantic button presses by me, and the dull “You Died” tone of the game over screen.

So, to all of my visually impaired readers(?), I feel confident yet sorry to declare that From Software’s latest effort is not a game that I could recommend. It is not entirely entertaining to simply listen to, so even a soundtrack option would probably not justify the sixty dollar price tag.

0/10

Eternal Sonata

On 14 June, 2007, Kurt Waldheim, Austrian politician and former Secretary-General of the United Nations, died at the age of eighty-eight. In his youth, during the Second World War, Waldheim had served as an intelligence officer in the Wehrmacht. Despite this (or, perhaps, because of it), Waldheim was elected President of Austria, in which position he served from 1986 until 1992. Never once, in all that time, did he play Eternal Sonata–for Waldheim, fortunate man that he was, died on the very day that Eternal Sonata was released. He went to his grave blissfully unaware of the threat posed to humanity by tri-Crescendo and Namco Bandai. Today, we may consider that Waldheim was the last man able to die in a state of contentment about the future.

Several months later, on 16 September, 2007, in a small, isolated nation called The United States of America, another man lay dying. He had not heard that Eternal Sonata was to come out the very next day; the whispers of a terror from beyond the western sea had not yet reached his ears. As he breathed his last, his soul separated from his body. In that instant, all the hopes and fears of boyhood; all the dreams and aspirations of adolescence; all the successes and goals of manhood spun through the fading mind, and the soul, throughout mortality striving for reunion with its maker, fulfilled at last its divine purpose. The author Robert Jordan was fifty-eight years old, and left behind a significant and enduring literary output, absolutely none of which was about Frederic Chopin.

Frederic Chopin

According to the Lusipurr.com Internet Database, Frederic Francois Chopin, born Fryderyk Franciszek Chopin, was a Polish composer and virtuoso pianist of the Romantic era, who wrote primarily for the solo piano. He gained and has maintained renown worldwide as one of the leading musicians of his era, whose “poetic genius was based on a professional technique that was without equal in his generation.” Chopin was born in what was then the Duchy of Warsaw, and grew up in Warsaw, which after 1815 became part of Congress Poland. A child prodigy, he completed his musical education and composed many of his works in Warsaw before leaving Poland at the age of twenty, less than a month before the outbreak of the November 1830 Uprising.

At the age of twenty-one he settled in Paris. Thereafter, during the last eighteen years of his life, he gave only some thirty public performances, preferring the more intimate atmosphere of the salon. He supported himself by selling his compositions and teaching piano, for which he was in high demand. Chopin formed a friendship with Franz Liszt and was admired by many of his musical contemporaries, including Robert Schumann. In 1835 he obtained French citizenship. After a failed engagement to a Polish girl, from 1837 to 1847 he maintained an often troubled relationship with the French writer George Sand. A brief and unhappy visit to Majorca with Sand in 1838–39 was one of his most productive periods of composition. In his last years, he was financially supported by his admirer Jane Stirling, who also arranged for him to visit Scotland in 1848. Through most of his life, Chopin suffered from poor health. He died in Paris in 1849, probably of tuberculosis.

Frederic Chopin, in Eternal Sonata

According to Eternal Sonata, Frederic Chopin is a dandy doppleganger for Isambard Kingdom Brunel. His beautiful sister commands so much sway in the artistic community that she has imported Samuel Langhorne Clemens–Mark Twain–to serve as her brother’s physician. George Sand, Chopin’s devoted love interest, is optimistically imagined as only relatively dowdy as she manages Chopin’s affairs (whilst he reclines, blissfully unconscious, on an ornate four-poster). In one of the many, interminable sololiquies rendered by this masque of idiots, Twain suggests that Chopin is not dreaming–and yet, in despite of this postulation, the game trundles on with all of the dexterity that one might expect of a chronically tubercular patient. Meanwhile, Twain lumbers about, exclaiming turgid drivvel possessing none of the verve found in his published works; Chopin’s sister sits primly on a settee, from which she emotionlessly ruminates on the nature of existence; and George Sand strides about hither and yon, speaking her mind with a freewheeling abandon whilst conveying absolutely nothing whatsoever. The great mystery is not whether Chopin is dreaming, but who will die first and how: will it be Chopin, in the bedroom, with the tuberculosis; or will it be the reader, in the front room, of boredom?

Within the world of dreams (if Chopin is, in fact, dreaming–but is he dreaming? Is a butterfly dreaming of him? Is he dreaming of a butterly? So deep! So profound! Existentialism through the mind of a fourteen-year-old booby!) a Nietzschean exercise in nihilism is taking place. Frederic asserts that he is dreaming–that all of the characters before him (and the player) are merely constructs of his mind. This the characters roundly dispute, and–if Chopin really is(!?) dreaming them into existence–the biggest mystery of all is why he does not choose to dream up something more imaginative or compelling than a bunch of identical anime-dolls straight off the tri-Cresendo assembly line, each packaged so as to declaim solipsistic babblings that would bring a blush to the cheeks of a first-week freshman in a 100-level philosophy course.

BUT *IS* HE DREAMING!?(!?(!(?)))

And there is the rub, for this is the game’s monumental conceit–greater than its absurd reimaginings of style and appearance; greater than its wrangling with history and established fact; greater even than its clumsy, thumbless groping at entry-level existentialism–no, the greatest conceit of all is that Chopin the musical prodigy, renowned in his time and at every moment since, author of some of the most delicate and inventive works ever composed for the piano: waltzes, mazurkas, scherzi, preludes, and sonatae, Chopin the undisputed creative genius can invent nothing better than a series of cookie-cutter mouthpieces for the bilious mouth-farting of low-rent Japanese anime producers. To be certain, experienced gamers and anime fans have seen and heard it all before–the laboured expostulations on the nature of existence, the ponderous, navel-gazing pseudo-philosophy–but Eternal Sonata is the indisputable ne plus ultra of the form.

Beat: “I’m really gonna teach you a lesson!”

But let us return to the dream world–if, indeed, we are not already dreaming–where we can find a cast of characters whose names are all drawn directly from musical terminology. One can almost imagine the self-satisfied sniggering of the developers, high on their own farts, as they drafted up plans for Polka, Beat, and Allegretto; for the lands of Baroque and Forte; for Prince Crescendo and Fort Fermata (the last particularly appropriate as its movement mechanic quickly overstays its welcome). All of them are uninspiringly voice-acted, with the usual in-battle shouting that gamers have come to loathe. “How pitiful! You soulless creatures!” Chopin shouts, again and again, without variation. “Sacred Signature!” The staggered player, agape on his couch, can only gawp at the needless lip-flapping. “Tuberculosis, hurry!” he shouts in rejoinder, hoping to encourage a faster end to the experience–but the game, uncaring, hears him not.

The battles themselves proceed in the usual sort of porridge-y tri-Crescendo way: there is a move timer, a combo meter, and light and dark areas of the battlefield, each of which result in a different finishing move for the playable characters. –And that is the whole of it, really. Bosses have a lot of hitpoints and most of the significant fights seem designed to wear down the player’s resolve rather than the characters’ life totals. These are often followed by lengthy cutscenes: in one memorable instance, this reviewer left the couch at the beginning of a cutscene. After loading laundry, making dinner, emptying the dishwasher, eating dinner, and loading the dishwasher again, this reviewer returned to the couch only to find that the cutscene was still progressing apace, with very many observances about whether anything unreal exists.

Count Waltz

As for the storyline, it may be dispensed with quickly: Floral Powder and Mineral Powder factor in significantly; the former is good, the latter bad, in the usual bifurcative way that the natural world is set against the artificial. The bad count (Waltz) and principality (Forte) push Mineral Powder, which turns people into monsters. The good prince (Crescendo) and kingdom (Baroque) prefer the eco-friendly Floral Powder, which pleases Polka (a flower seller) no end. The game’s descent into madness rolls along, gathering speed as the plot leaps dizzyingly from one absurd point to the next even more absurd point. After falling into the sea and escaping pirates (the party are woefully ill-fortuned), they at last confront Count Waltz who escapes through a magical portal. The party dutifully follows him to the (surprisingly accessible) underworld, “Elegy of the Moon” (haunted by the deceased victims of Mineral Powder), where he escapes again.

What follows next is unclear to this reviewer, despite the fact that he has now played through the final segment of the game twice–both on Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. For the sake of brevity, the Lusipurr.com Internet Database says:

The party advances past Xylophone Tower and the Noise Dunes to Double Reed Tower, where Legato [Count Waltz’s henchman] made another portal. There, the party defeats them and finally fight [Frederic] Chopin as the final antagonist, for him to complete his destiny. Realizing that it is the only way to save the world, Polka jumps off a cliff and is reborn younger, but then becomes older again and embraces Allegretto. Finally, back in the real world, Chopin’s spirit rises out of his body and he plays his piano one last time, in a blooming sea of nocturnal flowers ‘Heaven’s Mirror’, composing a song that was inspired by Polka. [Emphasis added.]

This reviewer defies our readers to find something more staggeringly idiotic in a game made by a respected, experienced, practised developer. In addition, this reviewer submits that this is the only ending to a game which is worse than that found in the otherwise similarly lamentable Final Fantasy X.

So deep!

The music is an area where–all else failing–it would be reasonable to expect Eternal Sonata to deliver satisfaction. After all, it is a game centred (at least in principle) upon one of the most famous composers ever to have graced the Euterpean arts. And, indeed, when the game chooses to present the music of Chopin, it does this quite well: the recordings are of a very good if not outright exceptional quality, with all of the selections presented in 5.1 surround sound. Moreover, and most critically, the quality of Stanislav Bunin’s performance is exceptional in places and very good in others–the Etudes in particular demonstrate a profoundly developed lyrical technique on the part of the performer. But, aggravatingly, these very few moments in the game–easily and without contest the best part of the entire Eternal Sonata experience–are delivered as mere vignettes: they are moments not of gameplay, but of historical presentation, accompanied by brief

So profound!

snippets of Chopin history utterly disconnected from what has been taking place within the world of the game. Here is yet another opportunity squandered, for had the developers attended more carefully to the music, they could have created a game that would allow Chopin’s compositional genius to speak for him–to accent the action of the gameplay; to serve real, narrative purpose within the soundtrack of the game itself. But, alas, just as the game world of Eternal Sonata is nothing so much as a a farcical caricature of the real–the existentialist universe as seen in a carnival fun house mirror–so too is Motoi Sakuraba’s un-Chopin-like and forgettable soundtrack but the unsophsticated and juvenile imitation of real compositional brilliance–an inescapable inferiority shown all to the worse by its unfavourable juxtaposition alongside the works of a real master like Chopin, presented below:

The stirring and vivacious Polonaise in Ab, Op. 53 of Chopin is followed–in what must be the ultimate damp squib—by the enthusiastically dull strains of some saccharine, string-infused Sakuraba selection, served up for the savory delectation of the suitably tin-eared listener. Philistines rejoice! Sakuraba has turned out yet another drosswork–the perfect background music for a life of no consequence!

“It’s the stupidest tea party I ever was at in all my life!”

At the end of it all, Eternal Sonata is a very bad game. But it is not–it must now be asserted–the worst game ever made, nor could it ever realistically aspire to reach such lofty heights and occupy a position alongside games like Deadly Towers and Fable. As the work of nothing more nor less than a team of over-practised amateurs, Eternal Sonata can never rise above its own firmly-established mediocrity to be anything more than a footnote in the annals of game reception. Where Chopin was brilliant–where he caught the world by the ear and inscribed his name upon history through works of genius and beauty–the developers of Eternal Sonata have instead been mediocre, subpar, uninspired, and workaday. Sakuraba’s stringy, forgettable earbilge is, in many ways, the perfect audio accompaniment to the uninvested blathering of the Wednesdayish voice actors; to the unsophisticated pseudophilosophical musings of the giddy-with-their-own-brilliance writers; and to the uninventive battle system, the development of which is purely a tool by which the developers hoped to force the increasingly apathetic player to look ever-more-closely at the mind-numbing piffle playing out on the screen.

A work of stunning mediocrity, more than anything else Eternal Sonata is a missed opportunity. Had the developers hearkened to the oeuvre of their ostensible subject, they could have created a game which would have allowed Chopin’s genius to speak for him. Instead, the developers chose to let their writers speak for Chopin. The result is not an “Eternal Sonata”, but rather a passing, fleeting “Variation on a Theme of Disappointment”.

Majora’s Mask 3D Cover Art

“With every good deed, a child takes one step closer to adulthood.”

The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask is, even after fifteen years, a brave experiment. It seems – at first glance – to be built to repel those who would have any interest in it, yet it has gathered a strong and devoted following since its original release on the Nintendo 64 in the year 2000. Zelda is a series that encourages exploration and building a relationship with the environments that Link finds himself in. Yet Majora’s Mask employs a countdown system that appears to rush players along, it chops down the number of proper dungeons to four, and it requires players to do and witness the same things over and over again. Surely this should be considered punishment, not pleasure.

Do not be fooled, because Majora’s Mask is still demonstrably a game about Link growing up and becoming a master of his environment, but he must do so in an unfamiliar way despite the eerie sensation of so many aesthetic and mechanical familiarities, which appropriately mirrors the player’s experience. For players who are willing to interact with the occasionally frustrating price of admission, the rewards are immensely gratifying and any frustration becomes a quaint necessity in retrospect.

To give context, Majora’s Mask is a direct sequel to the very well-received and influential Ocarina of Time which also received a remastered edition on the 3DS just under four years ago. Whereas Ocarina of Time did everything it could to take the sweet and simple coming of age stories as well as the swords and sorcery worlds of the previous 2D entries and transfer them to the related but ultimately separate genre of 3D action-adventure, Majora’s Mask had less pressure to be both a series and genre-defining event. Therefore it had the freedom to be a bold and thoughtful reaction to Ocarina of Time and as such, it is experimental and fresh and there is still no other Zelda entry quite like it.

As a remastered edition, the 3DS version of Majora’s Mask shines, even on systems unable to take advantage of the free-motion camera control and the improved glasses-free 3D technology. The design team not only made the user interface more quick and easy to manage by making great use of the touch screen in similar fashion to Ocarina of Time 3D, but it also made some small, but noticeable changes to some elements of the game itself. The changes will only be apparent to those most familiar with the ins and outs of Majora’s Mask – things like changed shop locations and different conditions to complete certain quests or obtain certain masks – but many of the changes make the game slightly more challenging and all lend themselves to the idea that the team that brought the game back to life were still aware of what made it so special in the first place.

A very useful little mask for rupee collection or for the ill-prepared.

At first, the hub world of Clock Town and the surrounding land of Termina appears tiny. After Link explores the town and completes the first dungeon, it is possible that an uninitiated player could become skeptical if he is not already. Everything seems so familiar, but with an annoying time limit and fewer dungeons. The cult appeal of the game might appear skin deep; after all, a giant angry moon and slightly more creepy music than Ocarina of Time provided could be nothing more than cheap aesthetic tricks.

And while Majora’s Mask greatest flaw is found in not properly setting the player on the right path to discovering the game’s sense of logic, once a player finds it, there is no turning back.

While technically the player will still need to defeat all the dungeons in order to defeat the final boss and while each dungeon is found in an area that only plays a slight variation to the series’ typical choice of biomes, if players familiar with the Zelda formula attempt to play Majora’s Mask like any other Zelda game, the mechanics will be nothing but a frustrating hindrance, an unnecessary timer on areas that they would be free to roam in other Zelda games.

The trick is realizing that Link still has all the time in the world.

This is the path to finding the game’s unique mood that pairs Link’s growing power with an equal sense of loneliness. The first step is paying attention to the Bomber’s Notebook (the quest log that has gained some significant upgrades in this remaster) and realizing that a countdown clock should not be equated to urgency. The NPCs are starting to panic, but Link is fine. Termina is Link’s Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania and Majora’s Mask is his Groundhog Day. The moment players slow down and start combing through their environment and interacting with characters, the more they will find the environments and characters will give back. Beyond small things like experimenting with how NPCs react to Link when he wears different masks, slowing down and enjoying the power of infinite time in a world in which nobody else has that luxury will let Link stumble upon context-dependent cutscenes which are only viewable in very specific scenarios, discover connections between people and places, and ultimately make him more powerful in his journey while providing players with a unique perspective.

This is how Majora’s Mask rewards those who thoroughly explore its world and how the game gives power and knowledge to players who start to become aware of the complex weaving of events and characters. Sure, one could blitz through all the dungeons, grumbling at the time constraints and wishing the game was more like Ocarina of Time, or one could spend carefully planned cycles exploring the world and improving Link’s efficiency, learning from mistakes and slowly gaining new items, new upgrades, new masks, and new techniques and ultimately becoming much better prepared for the dungeons.

Not a trace of Ganon to be found!

After players start spending cycle after cycle focused on just one or a few tasks, the game’s world suddenly falls into place. Link’s approach to mastery has to change from what he is used to. In fact, that is the point. Three days can feel so short at first, but this is an illusion. Majora’s Mask is a game that views time laterally, not linearly, and Termina, its characters, and its obstacles take on a new form with this realization.

After this change in focus, the time constraint in a dungeon now becomes a worthy challenge. After spending many cycles outside of dungeons, players will become acutely aware of what they are capable of during the span of one. A dungeon is not something to stumble upon and to slowly work out like in many other Zelda games, it is an opponent to conquer. Even if a player spends a whole cycle in a dungeon only to have to restart at the last second, he will have a much easier time after he shakes off the frustration of his defeat. Even if he did not gain the item he wanted, he has gained knowledge and more of a mastery over his environment.

Majora’s Mask reiterates this mentality by including stray fairy quests in the dungeons to provide a second level of mastery. Termina is not a place to see things once. Sure, it is a little annoying that the guard stops Link from leaving Clock Town every time he is in a new cycle, but it is worth it for those times after a long, involved cycle when a player feels like he made a significant difference only to remember that practically nobody else is aware of his efforts. Majora’s Mask is about seeing the same thing with new eyes and once the player has put in the time to understand it emotionally and not just intellectually is when the game is at its most rewarding.

One special thing about Majora’s Mask is that even when everything appears to be wrapped up in a nice little package, the game makes sure to point out that nothing is ever that clean cut. There will still be injustice. There will still be loss. There will still be madness. There will still be chaos. Our history is part of us; all of it. It is a game that makes its claims about the importance of forgiveness, empathy, and love against a backdrop of unsettling darkness and thus turns what would otherwise be sentiment into a balanced and nuanced thesis. The more Majora’s Mask is explored, the more it returns these themes to the player.

The Zora race’s cool factor takes a hit in this game.

In this vein and without spoiling the ending, the game’s credits make it clear which scenes are being missed because the player was not able or did not bother to obtain the necessary mask. Majora’s Mask is not only a great game to take the time to master, but it is a great game to revisit and replay with this newfound mastery.

None of this is to mention how fun it is to become familiar with all of Link’s various forms – from the eager, sad steps of the Deku Scrub to the proud and graceful swimming of Mikau – through mini-games and general exploration and how rewarding and entertaining it is to discover and follow all the stories that connect to each mask, no matter how trite or how complex.

However, the game is certainly not perfect. In addition to hiding its form from its players, it must be noted that while the nods to gameplay sections in Ocarina of Time fit thematically with both the narrative and mechanical structure of the game, it can still feel a little lazy and too reliant on Ocarina of Time. Also, while the Zelda series is excellent at creating great characters with rich histories and then knowing which details to provide and which to leave implicit or hidden, the incidental writing is standard video game below-average fare despite its sophisticated undercurrent. There is very good reason why Link does not talk and why there is extremely limited voice acting in the Zelda games: The series is always better when it remembers to show and not tell.

Also, while Majora’s Mask has a mostly wonderful soundtrack, there are some areas that disappointingly and unnecessarily reuse tracks from Ocarina of Time and that is not to mention that the Indigo-Go’s is definitely not the amazing band that the game tries to make them out to be. Expect some cringes surrounding those guys.

Majora’s Mask is a game that has an amazingly cohesive and complex inner logic and is an important, bold, and successful experiment in game design, but there is an important fact to clarify in the interest of consumer awareness. The feeling of losing progress, the illusion of the time constraint, and the constant repetition of events can be a very frustrating experience for new players or those who might have a difficult time breaking free from the Zelda formula mentality. Some will appreciate that Majora’s Mask lets players figure out its world and logic through failure, misunderstanding, reflection, and observation, but others might feel like jumping through the game’s hoops is not a worthy price of admission. Gamers must consider what sort of experiences they enjoy and understand that – while ported wonderfully to the handheld – Majora’s Mask is significantly larger than it appears and it is a game that takes time and patience to get to know. More than most games, Majora’s Mask is an experience that is best played away from the help of the internet and is definitely an experience that every devoted gamer should at least try, even if just to ultimately reject.

Full disclosure: the author was provided with a free copy of the game for review purposes. This review was based on the game played on 3DS XL hardware.

Yeah, that’s not creepy at ALL!

Citizens of Earth opens, much like most RPGs of the SNES era, with the main character waking up in his bed by his mother. Only this time the main character is the newly-elected Vice President of Earth on vacation after a few grueling months of campaigning on the road. His first task is to find a present his younger brother left him in the kitchen, and then find out why there are already a bunch of protestors outside his mother’s house. Everything about this game screams a throw-back to old-school RPGs, but that is a good thing. The developers have even taken some of these gameplay elements and streamlined them a bit, such as easily being able to switch between party members on the fly. Combine all of this with beautiful art designs, a fun and engaging battle system, and quirky humor and one has a really fun turn-based RPG.

Lusipurr says this to me ALL the time.

The battle system and cast of characters are by far the best parts of Citizens of Earth, taking elements from both Earthbound and Pokemon. As the VP of Earth, the player can recruit his citizens to fight for him in battles, because, being such an important figure, he obviously cannot fight the battles himself. Some characters, such as the VP’s Mom or Brother, will join automatically, but most require the VP to perform some sort of task to join the party. Such as beating a Car Salesman in a race, which involves the VP’s car to battle against the other racers, or the Conspiracy Guy, who requires the VP to find “evidence” in the form of battling sentient coffee beans. Each of these characters adds a special ability to the party, such as the previously mentioned Car Salesman’s ability to drive the party around in a sports car or the VP’s Brother being able to order items from the fake delivery company he works for, known as “FedUPS.” These characters make up most of what would normally be the game’s NPCs standing around various parts of the towns. This adds an actual sense of connection to the areas the player explores, rather than the areas being just places to find the next item or weapon store. The characters will even move locations depending on the time of day or how far the player has progressed in the game. The player can meet a character in one chapter only to have them be recruited a few chapters later. Not only do these characters assist in the overworlds, but they also help in the battles.

Hey, it’s me!

Each of these characters fights for the VP against quirky enemies like the fawn with a telephone on its antlers named “Telefawn” and a beach-dwelling bird whose neck is shaped like an anchor known as “Anchroy Bird.” Each of the party characters uses a unique set of moves that is based off that specific character. The VP’s Brother has attacks based off the rough-housing that siblings usually do, like “Wrestle” and “Charley Horse.” The Baker can not only use his furnace to “Torch” and “Flambe” the opponents, but he can also bake health items for himself and the other characters. The game also forgoes the RPG standard of having a Mana or MP bar for special attacks, but it uses an “Energy” system. Each normal attack will not only hurt the enemy’s health, and may cause a status effect like blinding the enemy or causing confusion, but it will also gain the character an Energy Point. These points are used by the stronger attacks, with the strongest of these attacks using the most Energy Points. The points also carry over from battle to battle, allowing the player to plan his or her battles and prepare for a stronger fight by defeating the weaker opponents with normal attacks. This also helps pull the player into the battles more, by forcing them to actually pay attention to what attacks are being used and not just spamming the “Fight” option over and over again until the battle is over. Defeating an enemy gains each character who participated experience points, like most RPGs. However, this experience is not just gained as one big lump at the end of the fight, but it is gained after each enemy is defeated. This allows the characters the ability to level up mid-fight and have new moves to use on the remaining enemies. Unfortunately, with all this good, there is also some bad with this game.

THANKS, OBAMA!

While a majority of Citizens of Earth is incredibly well done, there are a few gameplay elements that could have been streamlined a bit more. The game has a quest tracker function, in the form of a tablet, but some of the quest descriptions are a bit vague as to what the player needs to do next. This is not an issue when the player has the main objective and a couple sidequests being tracked, but it gets confusing when the player starts adding all the characters he or she needs to recruit. Most of the descriptions about what the player needs to do to recruit these characters only gives a vague description, requiring the player to find the character in the game’s world for more information. This can be difficult to remember, as there are 40 characters the player can recruit in the game. While the game usually does a good job directing the player to the next main objective point, after the beginning prologue of the game there is nothing stopping the player from wandering into an area that he or she is not prepared for. This could cause the player to wander into what he or she thinks will just be a normal fight, only to have the party obliterated in the first round. However, both of these are very minor compared to how much fun the player will have with this game.

Citizens of Earth is a near-perfect blend of both new and old school turn-based RPGs. The art style is simple, yet detailed and fun, the battle system is engaging and fun, and the characters are all unique and fun. While most of the game’s mechanics have been streamlined there are a couple elements that could have been streamlined a bit more. However, as mentioned previously, the rest of the game is so good that these are easily forgiven. The game even has a character who will turn up or down the difficulty, how far that can be adjusted depends on that character’s level, if the player finds the game too easy or difficult. For anyone looking for a new RPG to play, this is a perfect choice.

Full disclosure: The reviewer was provided with a free Steam version of this game for review purposes.

Captain Toad Box Art

There is no reason to beat around the bush. For anybody who buys games regularly, or for anybody who enjoys a good puzzle game that can and should be slowly completed in small doses, Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker is worth the asking price. Nintendo has successfully extrapolated lasting gameplay from the handful of Captain Toad mini-games found in the also excellent Super Mario 3D World and while the game has a few confusing issues and never goes beyond what it is, Treasure Tracker is a delightful, charming, and creative puzzler.

The premise of Captain Toad is about as complicated as it needs to be. The heroes, Captain Toad and Toadette both love treasure, both love getting captured, and both love saving each other. While the impetus of the main baddie kidnapping the main character is more than a little worn out, it was at least refreshing to see Toadette have a turn at being a hero and Captain Toad have a turn at being the damsel in distress. But, as is usually the case in a Nintendo game, the story is mostly there to establish a motivation and a villain and it does that sufficiently.

Gameplay, as is once again typical for Nintendo, is the star. Captain Toad does not break new mechanical ground, nor are its puzzles so creative that it will change the way gamers look at the genre, but the game is bursting with personality and polish, and enough secrets to make even the most seasoned veterans take pause. Neither Captain Toad nor Toadette can jump (in fact, they control identically) and even their run is not too much faster than their walk. Doing what they do best, Nintendo matches the level design to the style of the gameplay so that players must instead rely mostly on observation, planning, and experimentation rather than the fast-paced twitch-based finesse of something like Mario Galaxy 2 or Super Mario 3D World. The ability to zoom in and rotate the camera are abilities best used regularly, and players will often be rewarded for interacting with the gamepad via touch or blowing into the microphone.

While the gamepad is a far more exciting and useful piece of gaming technology compared to the Wiimote, Captain Toad‘s push for its use is not as convincing as games like Game & Wario or even Wind Waker HD. First, while using the gamepad’s gyroscope to take a look at the levels can be immersive and engaging and occasionally even feel more natural than using the right analog stick, its usefulness reaches a hard limit when one realizes that a full 360 degree rotation is required to look at a level from every angle. This is hardly convenient to do while sitting down and the game’s otherwise slow and thoughtful nature is at odds with the idea of standing up to play. An option to freeze the camera to readjust the gamepad’s position (similar to lifting a computer mouse to the other side of the mousepad) would have been very helpful, as would an option to turn off the gyroscope all together, especially when an unexpected camera move can disrupt the playing experience and even cause a character’s death.

Big levels, small levels, some the size of your head!

Speaking of, the choice to base Treasure Tracker off a traditional “lives” system is a little confusing to me as well. Part of the joy of the game is going back to try and obtain all the collectibles and complete all the optional objectives and sometimes these tasks require experimentation. Dying on a level already comes with the consequence of restarting the player’s progress (excepting the collection of the three optional gems), so running out of lives seems like an unnecessary element present only for the sake of tradition.

But these are minor issues in the face of the colourful world, the satisfying secrets, the lively animation and sound design, the varied level types, and the large dose of bite-sized content available in Captain Toad. This is not a game to rush through, but rather a game to enjoy in small and satisfying doses, whether the player is collecting the many pieces needed for completion by meticulously beating the conditions for every level before moving on to the next, or if he decides to do what he can on his first attempt with plans to return at a later time. Captain Toad does not mind either way, it just hopes the player is having a good time.

Treasure Tracker is a pretty game with Nintendo’s trademark colourful and bubbly-looking worlds, filled with glistening water, tubes, and collectibles. However, its best promotion of the use of the gamepad is how perfect the game is for viewing on the smaller lower-resolution screen. While it does not look as graphically strong on closer inspection, being able to inspect the puzzle worlds more closely on the gamepad is often the preferable choice while playing and that frees up the television for roommates or family members to use without complaint from the player.

Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker is not Nintendo’s next Mario Galaxy 2, Super Mario 3D World, or Skyward Sword, but it does not have to be. It is consistently creative, eventually challenging, and most importantly, always fun. Players will have to observe and explore their environments closely to complete the game and as such, Nintendo has breathed a lot of life into the little cubed puzzle worlds. The game is a delight to play and as long as players know what to expect, it is a well worthy addition to a increasingly appealing Wii U software lineup.

Full disclosure: the author was provided with a free copy of the game for review purposes.

Super Smash Bros for Wii U box art.

Super Smash Bros. for Wii U is not a game that can be properly reviewed after three weeks. It might be a strange way to start a review, but it is also the honest way to start this particular review. Even forgetting that online features will not be available until the public release of the game, Super Smash Bros. for Wii U is a game – like Mario Kart 8 – that has months and even years of play built into its structure. It is a game that – also like Mario Kart 8 – is incredibly easy to start playing but is deceptively difficult to master. Six hour sessions with Smash Bros. with friends feel like just under two hours and three weeks with the game feels like a weekend. While this review will do its best to objectively describe the value of the game based on its mechanics and features, perhaps the most accurate description comes from this bit of – admittedly anecdotal – evidence. This reviewer’s specific pre-release copy of the game hooked back in at least three N64-era elitists, convinced a minimum of two people to buy a Wii U, and logged an approximate total of forty hours of play over three different Wii U consoles and it still feels like a scratch at the surface.

The good thing is that Super Smash Bros. for 3DS provides an accurate enough look at how the controls feel, how the levels look, and how the characters face off against each other. Like many suspected (and even hoped), in comparison, the 3DS version is clearly the inferior one. It will still suffice as an alternate version of the game when console play is impossible and it is still an impressive translation of Super Smash gameplay to a handheld console, but ultimately it serves as either a backup or an appetizer for the main course. The main course is clearly Super Smash Bros. for Wii U.

The game is meant to be played with friends locally (in a perfect world, the online experience would be comparable to this, but not only is that information not currently available, but Nintendo has a clear track record of making online play feel isolating as opposed to uniting) and the difference when playing the game solo is severely felt. In similar fashion to every other Smash Bros. and – once again – in similar fashion to Mario Kart 8, the game feels empty and even a little dull when playing single player. There is a lot to do, but without the thrill of learning to best a human opponent, or even the thrill of taking on event challenges or computer opponents with another person, Super Smash Bros. for Wii U is missing a major ingredient. It is the difference between a largely forgettable one hour experience alone and a group of friends not noticing as hours and hours fly by.

Mega Man is good.

One method of tackling this review could be to list all the modes, describe them briefly, and ascribe some sort of value to them, but that would miss the point of Smash Bros.. Of course there is a lot to do and of course it is all within the range of well-implemented to excellently-implemented with the occasional “what-the-crap-is-that-doing-there” mode thrown in, but these modes are for players to discover on their own and for them to see for themselves what use they will get out of each mode. One exception to this approach is the stage building mode which serves as an auspicious preview to the upcoming Mario Maker and will likely be a component that continues to evolve along with the metagame in competitive play.

I approach the abundance of modes with such flippancy because surface judgments of game modes would miss the point of what is at the heart of Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. Super Smash Bros. for Wii U is equal parts fighting game and party game. More than ever before, the two elements have been expertly welded together. Characters seem to be specifically balanced against either other. While this observation is conjecture, it does line up with what appears to be the game’s strongest competitive claim: to truly excel at Super Smash Bros. for Wii U, a player must learn to master his own character, the characters he plays against, and – ultimately – his opponent.

As exemplified by MMA (a high-level competitive StarCraft II Terran player) crushing Bomber (a high-level competitive StarCraft II Terran player) recently at Blizzcon 2014 despite Bomber’s previously high win record against MMA and staggeringly high win rate percentage in the Terran versus Terran match-up, the best competitive video games are ultimately a match-up of minds. It is a long and difficult struggle to gather and maintain the skill, but to consistently win, a player must out-think his opponent. In this reviewer’s short experience, it would appear that Super Smash Bros. for Wii U has that quality.

The Villager is a strange, but satisfying choice.

In matches that took place in stable levels with no items between two skilled players, a death never occurred because of “bad luck”. Every hit, every KO, every dodge, every jump was intended, precise, and satisfying (or appropriately unsatisfying in the case of misplays). Even more startling is just how well the teams at Sora and Bandai Namco incorporated a character’s “flavour” into his or her strengths or weaknesses. To play well as Charizard, one must become Charizard: Powerful, confident, and determined. To play well as Bowser Jr., a player must begin to feel like a mini-boss from a traditional Mario game: In constant pursuit and always looking to pull out sneaky, but powerful moves to demoralize his opponent. It is a testament to the series as a whole that from such a simple control scheme arises such a creative and varied cast of characters. They are all easy to test out and all difficult to truly master.

In this way, the casual modes are as strong as ever. Choosing a more wild level, turning on items, or upping the number of players to eight adds a frantic, random element to the game which still recognizes enough skill to turn into an intensely fun experience for all those dedicated to winning as well as all those who are just along for the ride.

The Wii U era for Nintendo appears to be one of attempted reconciliation. Super Smash Bros. for Wii U appears to recognize all corners of its audience, including the one that aspires to be an e-sport and including the one that might be intimidated by complexity and does so with only minor compromises to each side. Focusing on mechanics that are easy to pick up and tough to master that are also balanced enough for player skill and mind games to be the most important factors in competitive victory enables Super Smash Bros. for Wii U to build more stable branches out from its deep roots, allowing for a truly impressive variety of play styles that – when necessarily paired with company – make for an addicting, satisfying, and likely incredibly long-lasting experience. Combined with better controller options than the 3DS offers and a bigger screen and better graphics, this is the ultimate Super Smash Bros. game. Do not expect to stop hearing about this game any time soon.

Full disclosure: the author was provided with a free copy of the game for review purposes. This review does not include coverage of online features or the online experience which will become available 36 hours after the time of this writing.

This guy is a dentist’s wet dream.

The first thing to clarify is that this game is not for the faint of heart. The encounters with the Alien, also known as the Xenomorph to fans of the Alien franchise, can be absolutely terrifying, as no weapon will permanently kill the creature and only a few will fight back its advances–especially the first real encounter, as the player has nothing to combat the Xenomorph with and no tools to assist in tracking it either. This author has never gripped his controller tighter, or had his hands sweat more, than while playing this game. Even encounters with the survivors or androids, both of which can be killed by conventional weaponry, can become incredibly tense and frightening. During these intense encounters the player must make use of various tools to distract the enemies, such as smoke bombs or noise makers, and a motion tracker to track the movements of those around. The player can also hide in vents, under tables or desks, and inside lockers. However, none of these are meant to be permanent solutions, as the tiniest noise or movement at the wrong time can give away Ripley’s hiding spot. Most encounters involve two or more of these groups fighting each other while attempting to find Ripley, so the player having a good sense of the surroundings is integral to completing the game.

This sense of surrounding is also important as the game has a very atmospheric feeling to it, making good use of ambient sounds to scare or give the player a hint as to where the next enemy is hiding. Sevastopol Station has been largely abandoned by its parent company and citizens and, because of this, the station has become run-down and seems to be falling apart. While constantly checking over one’s shoulder may seem like something out of a B-grade horror movie, this tactic may save Ripley’s life, as one sound of metal moving can also mean the Alien or a silent android are about to sneak up behind her. The game also does a great job of giving the technology on the station and the space crafts a “more advanced than our technology, but still somehow out of date” feeling that also made the original movie so iconic. The player should expect to see lots of heavy steam, tubes, and green computer screens controlling machinery that is way more advanced than anything our world has now. All of these add up to a truly terrifying experience when the player is distracted by a burst of steam and then the sounds of the Alien skittering around in the vents above, only to look up and see the face of the Xenomorph staring down before that second mouth plunges into Ripley’s skull.

“Oh man, what did I do last night? I’m never drinking AGAIN!”

The game’s crafting system, while no different than that found in many other games, is a welcome addition to Isolation. Because Ripley is an engineer, she can take the various items found on Sevastopol, such as bonding agents and liquors, and craft them into the supplies that will help her to distract and combat enemies. This means that exploring the station’s various nooks and crannies is integral to surviving, but such exploration requires avoiding the enemies hiding or camping out in those areas. Often, the player will have to decide either to explore and find more supplies, or to make a beeline for the next objective. This adds another layer of intensity to the enemy encounters, with players making the decision to use up precious items as a way of distracting and sneaking around enemies, or, to conserve items and face the enemies in an actual fight.

While Isolation is quite a solid piece of game development, it definitely has its flaws. Some of the enemy encounters, especially those with the Alien, can be a bit unfair. At times, it seems that the creature automatically knows where Ripley is hiding, and sometimes the save points can be few and far between. The lack of a checkpoint system adds to this difficulty. Some of the cut-scenes suffer from a low frame-rate, which may cause some players to miss important story elements during the stuttering audio and video. Also, some of the lines delivered by the actress portraying Ripley felt a bit bland. This is especially apparent during an intense sequence in the game when Ripley says something that is meant to have some energy to it, but it comes across as though it is the first time the actress has read the line in her script.

I guess “Stop, drop, and roll” doesn’t apply to androids?

While it is not without flaws, Alien: Isolation is a great survival horror game. The developers did an amazing job of making Sevastopol Station feel incredibly high-tech, while still seeming outdated, giving the player cause to feel instantly uneasy about his or her surroundings. The Xenomorph, while sometimes a bit unfair in the A.I. department, adds an incredible sense of tension when the player hears it crawling around in the vents of the station where it waits for the player to give away Ripley’s position. The developers also did an amazing job giving the game the same atmosphere that one feels while watching the Alien movies. There is even DLC that plays out the last part of the original movie, allowing the player to take control of Ellen Ripley trying to escape from The Nostromo while being hunted by the original Xenomorph. For anyone who is a fan of the Alien franchise, or for anyone looking for a tense survival horror game, this is a great choice, if not a must-have purchase for every Xenomorph-loving gamer.

Super Smash Bros for Nintendo 3DS, or perhaps SSBfN3DS. Catchy!

In a little more than a month from the publication of this review the Wii U version of Smash Bros will arrive on US shores, but in the meantime there is Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS to occupy Smash fans. The inclusion of a handheld version of a previously console-only game was something clearly considered from the outset, and it was asked of a development team that has considerable experience producing for the 3DS. So has the fourth entry in the illustrious Smash series been adapted successfully to the portable world? In many regards, yes. But ultimately the experience is left feeling like a limited paired down version of a main course yet to come.

Avid fans of the series were likely wary of the prospects for a handheld version of this title, with considerable doubt surrounding the fitness of the platform to simply control the game. The 3DS’s limited control scheme, featuring a circle pad instead of a full analogue stick and no second directional input at all, would mean the controlability of the game would likely suffer in order to fit onto a 3DS. This fear has indeed panned out, as the controls do operate and offer almost all of the same control the previous entries afforded, but do so only just serviceably. The circle pad, which tends to feel less like an input device and more like sliding a penny around on a table, along with the thin rectangular profile of the console, can easily lead to hand cramping and soreness after less than a half hour’s play time. The shoulder buttons can be out of place, particularly the L Button, when otherwise attempting to maintain a comfortable grip on the console. This button’s considerable importance, being the grab button and thereby making up a good third of gameplay strategy, means a continued shifting of grip on the device. The upper screen’s propensity to wobble with the slightest movement only exacerbates this issue. It becomes clearer by the hour that a game as twitch-based as Smash is a rough fit a best in comparison to the calmer affair of RPG inputs that otherwise occupy this reviewer’s time with the device.

Characters have an outline to help make them pop out on the 3DS’s small screen.

The game’s content is, at first blush, no slouch in the variety department. Along with traditional Smash modes there is the return of a Classic progression mode, All Star mode, some mini games in the Stadium menu, and the all new Smash Run alongside a more filled out online experience. The omission from the previous game is the detestable Subspace Emissary, the curiously named and over-wrought single player “story mode” that attempted to turn a 2D brawler into a platformer with some kind of plot. Any such pretenses have been (mostly) dropped this time around, with some of those cumbersome platforming elements making their return in the new Smash Run. The problems with this new mode are many, not the least of which is the large time commitment spent running around a massive map collecting specific power-ups for about five minutes only to end up in a competition that requires more speed than knockback power. No early warning is made of the powered-up match to follow so the wrongly speced will likely fail through little fault of their own. The online mode is a better offer over the last game’s, but only just. Open match-making is still just essentially an anonymous hook-up service aimed at getting the deed done and moving on, and the impersonal nature of it grows increasingly at odds with the personal nature of the Nintendo ecosystem. In the face of such blank online participation, it is little wonder the developer has historically seen no merit in it. But such shortcomings are by their own design, an apparently deliberate hampering of friendly anonymous online interaction. The mode’s attraction is further hurt by the considerable input lag and gameplay hiccups that can plague about half of all matches. The inclusion of a core-friendly For Glory item-less mode only soothes that problem so much.

The competitive scene has taken a close eye to this game more with the intent to glean early speculation about the home console version’s fitness for competition than to further the 3DS version’s use in something like tournament play. Doubtless there are some among the crowd who think the 3DS a good enough fit for this, and Nintendo’s own tournament hostings seem to reenforce those delusions. The truth is that this game will be largely abandoned by competitive players for a console version that offers better control and likely better stability online or otherwise. However, some important information has been uncovered that will impact the home console release. In particular some of the game’s mechanics that govern DI, hitstun and knockback power at higher damage percentages have been proven to be changed dramatically. DI is still a factor, thankfully, but it is now calculated in a way that necessarily changes how inputs should be made. Early speculation is that this will make surviving with this mechanic much easier. Hitstun and knockback are both changed by the addition of a rage system that increasingly powers up characters over a certain damage percentage. This means more vulnerable characters will have the ability to deal more damage with higher knockback, essentially an attempt to level the playing field. The reality is that these buffed characters will suffer more in competitive play, as their stronger attacks will knock opponents out of their comboing range. Characters that have been hit less will have their combos preserved for longer, potentially punishing characters at high damage in a way not intended. The combo potential of the game does seem greater than Brawl‘s by a long shot, with certain standouts like Sheik and Rosalina making early bids for high tier, but any observations of their performance must be recognized as through the lens of a limited control scheme.

The full roster. All 49 of ’em. 51 if all Mii Fighters are counted as separate characters.

The roster on offer this time is of note if only for its massiveness. Previously so called “clone” characters that shared the same moveset animations had been a staple since Melee, and the differences were sometimes more than most players could appreciate. This time around the differences between entrants like Pit and Dark Pit have been made even more unclear. Time will likely resolve the differences, as it did the differences between the otherwise identical Mario and Dr. Mario, but it puts a feeling of bloat upon the roster for the first time in the series. Third party appearances are still in, this time with Pac-Man and Mega Man (minus Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid) and the returning Sonic. A long term examination is required for many aspects of a game like this, but initial impressions lead the roster to feel full of samey characters in a game that has probably reached or surpassed its ideal maximum roster count.

Ultimately Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS attempts to serve up a handheld experience that improves upon its predecessor, but only opens up new problems by dint of its platform of choice. The home console version will likely see many of these complaints ameliorated to some extent, if not fully. Casual fans of Smash with an interest the game’s portability will see a lot of usage out this title, but all others are best served by waiting for the main course to arrive.

Layton is about to Oddjob someone.

The actual gameplay of this title is a good mash of puzzles and trials, with both characters from each series participating in each. Some chapters of the game will have Phoenix and Maya Fey, Phoenix’s assistant, participating in puzzles, while others will have Layton and Luke Triton, Layton’s assistant, bringing up contradictions in the court room. For fans of either series it is a bit of a joy to see Wright complete a puzzle and Layton yell out Wright’s famous “Objection!” line. While the court room elements are on par for the Phoenix Wright series, the brainteaser puzzles seem to be a bit watered down versus what one is used to in the Professor Layton series. The puzzles appear to be mainly story-driven and the side quest hidden puzzles are few and far between. Also, save for a few tougher puzzles, they seem to be much easier than what this author is used to in the previous games in that series. However, this is most likely a necessary sacrifice the developers had to make to get the court room elements into the game.

This guy is essentially the Fonzie of this game.

Much like the previous games in each series, Labyrinthia is full of unique, funny characters. The player will run into bards, witches, and an absent-minded judge, a staple of the Phoenix Wright games. There is even a cameo at the very end of the game by a fan favorite character of the Ace Attorney games. This author’s favorite was a beer-guzzling drunk who seemed to always be around to witness a crime, but always ends up being the worst witness to cross-examine on the witness stand. A runner-up being a soldier in the city who really, really enjoys being stepped on by a female soldier in his garrison. A majority of the characters have smirk-worthy puns in their names, usually referring to the character’s occupation. However, these characters seem to be rare while the player is exploring the city, unlike other games in the Layton series which would have some areas packed with characters to interact with. It is a bit obvious that the developers of the game focused more on the court room chapters than the exploration/puzzle chapters.

I think this is how Macklemore writes his songs.

While the puzzles may not be what fans of the previous Layton games are used to, the court room cross-examinations are right on par for the Ace Attorney games. The witches court of Labyrinthia is set up just like the courts of the Wright games: Phoenix presents contradictions in a witness’ testimony using either the evidence at his disposal or the witness’ testimony itself. All while a Prosecutor, or an Inquisitor in this case, attempts to dispute these contradictions and find flaws in Wright’s theories. The most interesting addition to this game is the ability to cross-examine multiple witnesses at once, as this is not exactly the most fair or unbiased court room Wright has seen. This forces the player to pay a bit more attention the testimony, as while one witness is speaking another might hear a keyword that triggers a memory and Wright can pause the testimony to hear what the second witness has to say. As there is no indication to this other than an audible noise made by the second witness, the player must listen for these triggers so as to not miss out on possible new evidence. One of the more interesting cases has Wright cross-examining ten witnesses at once.

As this game was obviously made as fan service for those into the Layton and Ace Attorney games, a new player to either series may not get as much enjoyment out of the title. There is not much explanation to the back story of any characters other than that Wright is a defense attorney with a psychic as his assistant and Layton really loves puzzles and has a weird relationship with Luke. Although the puzzles are somewhat watered down from previous Layton games, the two game types are merged together nicely. The “vs” part of the title does not make much sense for a majority of the game, as Wright and Layton usually work together to solve the mysteries of Labyrinthia. Even without much back story to any of the returning characters and the watered down puzzles, this game is a great choice for puzzle or adventure game fans and especially for those who enjoy both genres.

The Furious Fists of Furious Fury!

There is beauty in simplicity. Of course, there is room for flourish and embellishment, however with the AAA publishers tripping over themselves and spending an absurd amount of capital to out shine, out bloom, and out render each other to show they can make pretty games with all the color schemes of gun metal grey and dog turd brown, it is possible to go too far.

One Finger Death Punch is a product that Silver Dollar Games created in the space of a game jam, which often last for as long as 48 hours. Considering that the control scheme of the game consists of the left and right mouse buttons, and only the left and right mouse buttons, it is not that hard to believe that the game was able to make it from concept to reality in so short a time. Yet, the simplicity of One Finger Death Punch’s design allows for greater complexity, without miring the player in seemingly pointless fluff that many more games suffer from these days.

Unarmed in the fact that his arms cannot be seen!

There is no story to speak of. And that is a good thing. After all, how much can one say with stick figures beating the life out of each other unless it is a webcomic with only a few panels and poignant statements told with as few words as possible? Not a lot. However, an attempt at story would not be possible for a game so small, and it would almost be entirely outside of the point. So, the game has no story and we need not worry about it at all.

As previously stated, One Finger Death Punch has only the two mouse buttons for its combat. The left button attacks incoming enemies on the left and the right button attacks incoming enemies on the right. The player cannot move the stick figure character on their own and only moves when there is something within the attack range of the player. It does seem simple on the surface; enemies charge and the player attacks with a mouse click. This enables the developers to develop depth with this simple control scheme as a stable foundation.

Punched through the heart, but who is to blame?

The enemies, also shaped like stick figures with minor aesthetic differences between them, rely on numbers and, naturally, stronger versions of enemies to overwhelm the player. Underneath each enemy, there is a number which tells how many hits it will require to defeat the enemy. Later in the game, the player will encounter the first of other types of harder enemies, called brawlers, to dispatch. These enemies require anywhere between five and fifteen different key commands to overcome. Thankfully, should the player already be fighting multiple enemies, the rest of the mob will back off and allow the dramatic duel to continue. The middle ground between the one hit mooks and the brawlers are enemies with much more distinct colors that can take hits from one side or another. Attention will be required with these, as they can switch sides after the player’s attack to continue the combo and there is no reprieve from the other oncoming attackers. Strategy must be employed if the player is to survive.

There are also one on one boss fight stages that pit the player against an enemy that drives home the idea that spamming one of the two mouse buttons will, without fail, lead to defeat. Beside the boss stages, there are multi-section stages, endurance, performance, and a variety of weapon stages. Weapons are also prevalent in many stages, ranging from staff weapons, daggers, bows, nunchaku, balls, and swords. They all have limited use and can easily turn the tide against a seemingly hopeless situation. For example, the Death Ball can be flung against an enemy and struck again to strike another, regardless of what kind of enemy it is, which can help clear the brawlers and multi-hit enemies that will inevitably swarm in the higher difficulties.

Excalibur? Probably not.

Speaking of difficulty, the better the player does, the faster the enemies can gain charge. Do poorly and the speed goes down to something more manageable until the player can achieve a better medal. It gives a wonderfully simple desire to achieve the high score on the leaderboard. In fact, one could say this is the kind of game that could have been in the arcades of decades past. It would have fit in perfectly.

Despite the many, many good things about this game, the one glaring fault is that once the game starts to speed up, it can be very difficult to keep track of the direction the player has to attack in order to survive and not miss as missing can break the streak and make the player vulnerable. Another slight problem is the soundtrack. There seems to be only a small number of songs and it will not take long to hear the same song over and over and over.

Death Death Revolution!

That being said, One Finger Death Punch is worth the time and money. Given that it is only five dollars, it is highly encouraged to purchase the game directly from the developer. It is a simple and beautiful game that goes to the core of what makes a game entertaining with the fewest possible controls.

So, it is highly recommended that once this article has been read, everyone who reads this should go and purchase it directly from the developers. Silver Dollar Games. Really. Go buy it. Support smaller devs. Save the industry. NOW!

They are quite determined to make it to the end of this DLC.

Forward: This review contains spoilers for Bioshock: Infinite, Bioshock: Infinite: Burial at Sea, Episodes One and Two. Proceed with this in mind.

Bioshock: Infinite was a great game. Perhaps not the perfect game, but a truly excellent one. The story was gripping until it, figuratively, went off the rails somewhat. The pacing was good and the conclusion left it just at the right time. So, the story of Burial at Sea begs the question: Why did it have to go back to Rapture?

The answer should be that it did not need to. Bioshock: Infinite’s story, as convoluted as it could be at times, was more or less complete and required no further exploration. Bringing the story back to Rapture only added completely unnecessary filler to explain some of the stranger decisions that felt more akin to forcing square pegs into round holes that seemed to appear in greater numbers in the second episode.

Ace in the… something or other.

The first episode can be summed up basically that Booker DeWitt is a horrible, horrible man. Whether it is his complete divorce from his native american heritage to become more white as he burned a tent full of squaws at Wounded Knee or his gambling and drinking addictions which lead to crippling debt to sell his only daughter to amoral scientists; any sort of ill fortune is purely of his own making and any subsequent punishment is duly deserved. Yet, this is not the same Booker DeWitt that players were in the original.

Apparently, after Elizabeth drowned her father at the metaphorical fork in the road which would have led him to become Zachary Hale Comstock, all the realities of Columbia simply ceased to exist. Except for one last remaining Comstock that had, after a failed attempt to pilfer another Elizabeth from another Booker, escaped to Rapture to start over, yet again, as he was before his time as Comstock.

It does make a bit of sense to see this Booker not know whom Elizabeth is until it is too late, and by then he is ultimately the metaphorical sinner in the hands of an angry goddess. It could have ended right then and there. Booker DeWitt could have easily spent his last seconds with a hole in his chest, courtesy of a Big Daddy, blood spilling out in droves as Elizabeth gives him a smirk as she carries Sally, the subject of the first episode, off into who knows where.

Be thankful there is no option to give this guy a chance to sing.

Sadly, this is not the case. Despite all the logic Infinite attempted to establish, Irrational breaks it in order to push the last bit of this hateful finale past the finish line. All the jargon the Luteces spout to explain Elizabeth’s vulnerability is akin to hearing excuses a child gives when a parent asks why their room has not been cleaned, despite repeated orders to do so. And it only gets worse from there.

While there were suspicions that Rapture and Columbia were connected back in the base game, Burial at Sea forces the connection with all the subtlety of a crashing train and, ultimately, makes the story of Infinite subservient to the original. Daisy Fitzroy, antagonist with a justifiable cause against the Founders of Columbia, willingly sacrifices herself so that Elizabeth can become a killer in a questionable change of character. Frank Fontaine’s two-faced revolution against Andrew Ryan was facilitated by the same elements that allowed Columbia to float in the clouds. It is all so forced to the point where facepalming would not be sufficient to describe how out of place it all has become.

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who is the most messed up of all?

The greatest shame of all is Elizabeth’s digression from the character players grew to love in the base game to this shadow of a person. Not even a shadow. Elizabeth, the playable character, became a plot device. Even more so than in the base game. And for what? So Jack, the voiceless, nameless mook from the first Bioshock game, who did not even have a name until recently, can swoop in and save the day, as Ken Levine now decreed that the good ending of the original Bioshock is canon. It is especially jarring on account that Jack has no real qualities to speak of and is best described by Benjamin Croshaw in his ‘Yahtzee goes to GDC’ video from Zero Punctuation.

And so, Burial at Sea ends, Ken Levine dissolves Irrational, and players are left with a disgusting taste in their mouths almost akin to the ending of Mass Effect 3. Thankfully, Ken Levine had the good sense not to try and fail to ape Stanley Kubrick in a hilariously botched attempt at recreating the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey that will always be remembered as a moist fart.

As far as the gameplay goes, it is a drastic change from the original and the previous episode. Resources are scarce, Elizabeth is fragile and dies easily, and the enemies grow increasingly numerous and resistant to any sort of frontal attack. It would be especially prudent to avoid Big Daddies at all costs, as Elizabeth is simply not equipped nor capable of surviving a fight with one.

On the plus side, it does keep the tension high and for the more cautious players, there are ways to avoid detection, means to provide distraction, and the tools the players have are effective at what they do. It just seems slightly disappointing that all the amazing abilities players were given in previous games have been stripped away for but a few that work.

The best way to describe this DLC package is a rephrasing of Andrew Ryan’s tired platitude that he repeated nonstop to make some sort of point:

Bioshock Chooses.

Infinite Obeys.

Should a fan of Bioshock: Infinite purchase this DLC? Perhaps. It depends upon whether the individual preferred the original over Infinite. If one is so determined and in love with Andrew Ryan’s pseudo-utopia, based off the writings of a hack, then by all means. Those who preferred Infinite to the original would do better to simply watch a playthrough and be done with it. Or, perhaps, pretend that Burial at Sea never happened and allow Elizabeth the happy ending in Paris that she not only deserved, but earned.

SOMETHING! IN! SPAAAAAACE!

Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing games seem to have been in a rut as of late. If there has not been a plethora of pointless World of Warcraft clones, there are those that try to evolve the formula to limited success, because they are ultimately trying to emulate Warcraft’s success. Challengers who tried to kill it came in the form of Age of Conan Online, Warhammer Online, and Dungeons and Dragons Online, and failed miserably. Most notably was Star Wars: The Old Republic, however, the writers could only do so much since Kreia, the only interesting character that was from the Obsidian developed Knights of the Old Republic 2, was mysteriously forgotten in the lexicon of Star Wars card board cut outs.

Wildstar’s story began in 2007, when Carbine Studios, a Frankenstein amalgamation of developers from Blizzard, Retro Studios, Bethesda, and Valve and attached to noted publisher NCSoft, began to work on a project that wanted to give more flexibility to the individual player in 2011. Which was a noble ideal, considering most MMOs allow a player to start as a class, give a starting quest to procure ten bear butts, and then leave off with no concrete path on where to go.

The skyscape can even be changed for each individual plot of land.

Through the development process, Carbine was able to come to the conclusion that MMO goers were comprised of four particular types of players: Explorers, Lore Junkies, PvPers, and the Socials. Using this, Carbine was able to create Paths; questlines tailored to the specific things that those players enjoyed. The Explorers could jump their way to places to get the best view and, subsequently, go to places that the developers would rather them not go, especially with the double jump feature. Those who loved stories could watch it unfold as Scientists, who are also given a hovering, mechanical companion to give additional context to the world around them. PvPers, also known as Soldiers, could stick to doing what they loved, fighting others and mercilessly killing lower level players with impunity. Finally, the Settlers, for those who prefer a more social experience, go through the game building structures that can provide assistance to other types of players throughout the zone.

As interesting as the prospect of differing playstyles is, it does not mean much unless the world around the player would offer a compelling story to go with it. Wildstar is science fiction to its core. However, great care was taken to ensure that the story has the kind of pull needed to guide the players. It leads to a slight detriment here, as the playerbase is divided between two factions: the Dominion and the Exiles. However, there have been checks and balances made during the story so that one side is not seen as more domineering over the other when it comes to story content.

The Dominion is best described as a mixture of the Imperium from Warhammer 40k and the Horde of World of Warcraft. They are allegedly noble, violent, and with a misplaced sense of manifest destiny. The difference being that the Dominion are aware that they have committed acts of wholesale murder, racism, and attempted genocide. They do not care how their actions are perceived. They revel in it as they attempt to maintain their stranglehold on the galaxy, despite being stopped cold by the golem-like Granok. The races of the Dominion fit the theme well and include the humans of the aristocracy from the planet Cassus, the obvious vanilla choice; the unfeeling Mechari, creations of the god-like Elden; the Chua, monogendered rodents with a penchant for creating things that destroy things; and the Draken, bestial warriors who just want to kill for the sake of killing.

The selection of items to decorate the player’s house is wide and varied.

In contrast are the Exiles, so called because all the races have been exiled from their homeworlds for one reason or another. The Exiles include the humans, these from the group known as outcasts, who wage class warfare against of the Dominion’s aristocracy; the aforementioned Granok, who make up the muscle of the Exiles and work as mercenaries; the animal-like Aurin, who saw their planet obliterated for aiding the Exiles in the first place, and the race the anime fans will adore, due to their animal ears, inexplicably prehensile tails, and love of nature; Finally, the Mordesh, a race of tall, mad scientist-like, cyborg zombies on the brink of extinction who, strangely enough, get along better with the Aurin than anyone else.

The story of the game itself begins when an Exile explorer finds an unknown planet named Nexus, which some believe to be the homeworld of the now vanished Elden. The Exiles go there in hopes of starting over and building anew, yet The Dominion also arrive to uncover Elden secrets.

Put simply, Nexus is a big place.

The art style and the world ooze personality. The landscapes are varied and colorful, even more so than most games. And the questing is always within context of the path the players take, which somehow makes collection quests not as boring as it would be in other games. For example, every zone has a series of quests that have a time limit on it, whether it is a mob elimination or gathering items. These quests offer bronze, silver, and gold level rewards if the player can achieve the required number of kills/collections. The rewards can vary between crafting materials, gold, and equipment. This also leads to the fact that the player can salvage unneeded equipment into materials to assist in building more equipment or have it go into the player’s house.

Yes, player housing plays a large role in this game. Carbine made sure that the player has all the tools they need in order to create a place that is not only tailored to their likes, but can also serve practical functions from giving Rested XP bonuses, to creating farms for specific materials, and even entrances into dungeons that can only be accessed by the entrance at the player’s plot of land. In addition, friends of the player can visit when the player is not around and farm the materials and will be sent to the home owner, with the visitor gaining a bit of the materials for their troubles.

See the red stuff? The red stuff is bad!

Next, comes the combat system. Unlike the combat system of most other MMOs, where the player has to acquire a target to find out the enemy’s health and status, Wildstar emplys a more interactive system they call Free-Form Targeting. It brings to mind Area of Effect attacks from World of Warcraft, as it shows a line of fire where the attack will hit, but unlike the aforementioned, this affects all attacks and are not limited to just a few special abilities. The end result is a skill-based combat system that gives more responsibility to the player. Or it will just show how awful those DPS players are when they refuse to move, completely ignoring the fact that a large red circle on the ground is growing larger by the second. In addition, dashing and dodging are also employed, so as to give PvPers more chances to dodge attacks, escape, or adjust their position to maximize the advantage.

While Wildstar does so many things right, it is not perfect. The controls can seem slightly sluggish at times, especially in PvP battlegrounds where many combat effects are on display. Being released only a few months ago, it can be a demanding game on older systems. This is offset, however, by the fact that the amount of choice the player is given allows them to play at their own pace and still progress.

Another major ding against it is its instance to use a subscription model, when most others have eschewed that for Free-to-Play monetization. However, those with business savvy can learn how to buy and sell items on the in game auction house and use the money to purchase a special currency called C.R.E.D.D. and use that to purchase game time, much like ISK in Eve Online. An in-game entrepreneur would be able to not pay a thing toward the subscription cost or sell it to other players if they were so inclined. Also, players of the game are given keys to give to those interested in giving the game a try.

Overall, Wildstar is a game that does many, many things right. And save for the few flaws in the control and subscription, it is well worth a look for anyone wanting a change of pace from the standard MMO fare.

Expect a lawsuit from skull and crossbones pirates any day now.

Vlambeer’s Luftrausers has not had an easy time of it. Partially due to Vlambeer’s unfortunate luck of having their games cloned, or ripped-off, wholesale by unethical clods and sold by thieves. As evidenced by both Ridiculous Fishing and Luftrausers being copied and sold by game companies that do not deserve to be mentioned, neither the results of their larceny.

Thankfully, Vlambeer was able to trudge onward and finally release the fruits of their labor back in March and it seems that they are finally receiving the credit they deserve.

It should be noted, upfront, that Luftrausers has no real story to speak of. As well it should not for reasons that become fairly evident later on. If anything, it is best described as a monochrome Asteroids in an atmosphere. Except the asteroids shoot back. In fact, everything shoots at the player. There is no reinforcements, no back up, no nothing. Just the sole Rauser* against endless waves of other rausers, jets, gun boats, and more.

Mad Scientists on Parade!

Do not despair. The player has a large variety of tools at their disposal. This can be claimed to be a misnomer, as the options that the player has depends on what kind of weapon, what kind of body the Rauser has, and what kind of engine that the player can use. There is a possible 125 possible combinations of these to create a specific Rauser the players can use, each with its own strengths and weaknesses. For example; the heavy body has more health, but is heavier, resulting in lower speed. A prudent choice to use in conjunction with a Heavy Body, should one wish to use it, would be to use the Hover Engine, which renders the player’s rauser nearly immune to gravity.

It should be noted that even with all the possible options to use, it will always come down to the player being able to weave in, out, and around the almost bullet hell amounts of shots the enemy flings at the player. The instructions emphasize that the player has to know when to and when to not use the boost, or stall, in order to throw off the barrage of bullets.

That is not a bird, nor a plane!

Here is where the game falters slightly. The controls can and will work against the player at the seemingly most inopportune of times. Especially if it is in the middle of attempting to complete missions that are dependent upon which items are used. This makes it pointlessly difficult when attempting to complete all the missions. Granted, there is a reward for completing all of them, however, getting shot down during an attempt to shoot boats using weapons with a low rate of fire at Max combo scoring can be most irritating.

Despite this, there is a large amount of reply value to be found here. Whether it is with the aforementioned combinations of planes, each with their own individual name and variation of the theme song, or the extra hard SFMT mode which turns Luftrausers into a game that would make even the most ardent bullet hell shooter fan weep in defeat.

Which leads to another point that some combinations of aircraft are more effective at maintaining the combo meter than others. The missile launcher, mentioned earlier, can only fire four missiles at any given time. Which means that the player has to be more judicial about how and when they use them. And while they are seeking missiles, they often race to targets that are not intended and it can lead into a situation where there are no additional shots that can be taken while trying to keep the combo
meter.

Here we have Johan, modeling the latest in facist fashion.

The World War II fighter aesthetic also came with a few problems of its own. There were concerns raised about the player being a Nazi pilot, given the designs of the characters, it is a bit unusual to see. Even an antagonist, whom is briefly seen, bears a resemblance to Winston Churchill. Thankfully, Rami Ismail, one of the two people that comprise Vlambeer, was able to address the concerns and even speak about the nature of creativity and the need for real critical thought in its inspirations and criticism.

That being said, Luftrausers’ faults are not as numerous as its many things it does right. There are only four buttons to use; fire, boost, left turn, and right turn. This results in the controls being tight. It gives the same feeling of playing the arcade games of the 1980s, where a Saturday would be spent with a pocket full of saved quarters to get that ever so elusive high score. The sheer brutality of the AI is a reminder that it is a good thing certain companies do not charge for individual plays for games like they did in the arcades with their arbitrary increased difficulty to acquire more quarters from the playerbase. Yet.

Overall, Luftrausers is worth the price it is asking for. It is not a perfect game and, to the game’s detriment, the difficulty can be an obstacle to some. However, this can be overcome and with enough practice to acquire the final secret which would make all the failed missions beforehand all the more worth it.

*Rauser, despite sounding German, is not a real German word.

Shattered Planet. Available on Windows now, with a Mac version soon to follow.

Some may call Shattered Planet a roguelike, others may call it a roguelike-like. Whatever side of the fence a gamer may fall on, everyone will agree that this is a survival-exploration RPG. Originally developed for iOS and Android, Execution Labs and Kitfox Games have brought their procedural death labyrinth generator to the PC, and soon the Mac as well.

With the blight consuming all planets in the galaxy, humanity has traced the location of a possible cure to the age-old ruins of a broken planet. This is where the player steps in, exploring the planet and destroying the indigenous creatures in the name of science. The shattering of the planet has created a multitude of floating islands in the sky. Any one could contain the key to the survival of life as we know it.

Yes, all the maps in Shattered Planet are procedurally generated. This basic requirement of roguelikes is neatly fulfilled by having small masses of land connected together by short walkways. Combat is turn-based. For each action the player takes, whether that be moving, attacking, or using an item, all the creatures on the map get to take a turn as well. Littering the floor are an assortment of flasks whose content is randomised with each game. A red container may heal the player during one game, then poison them the next. The goal of a basic game is to explore each map in the search for the teleporter to the next area, striving to achieve a greater distance with each new clone that is sent to the planets rather fragmented surface.

Collecting datalog entries is a long-term goal for the player.

Along their travels, the player will begin to fill out their datalog. This is a record of all the different enemies, equipment and biomes that the player has encountered during their time with the game. Every fifteen discoveries, the player gains a research level and unlocks a reward, such as a new class to play on subsequent exploration attempts. There are several categories of discoveries, including pets that the player can obtain by convincing one of the local hostiles to join them. To prevent players from combing every inch looking for new discoveries, the blight will be forever on their tails. Starting from the same location as the player, the blight will slowly corrupt tiles adjacent to itself, damaging the player should they walk through it. The blight can also corrupt or spawn its own enemies.

What may cause some people to say Shattered Planet is actually a roguelike-like is down to the fact that the player can keep some progression in between exploration attempts. When not risking the life of yet another clone on the surface of the planet, the player has the use of the facilities on a rather cosy space ship. Here currency found on the surface of the planet can be used to synthesise a random piece of equipment. As the player gains research levels, new facilities are unlocked for use. Here the player can purchase permanent stat enhancements for their current class, or perhaps clone one of their pets unlocked during exploration.

Ultimately, the player is trying to build up their character over time to take on more difficult challenges. Along side the exploration mode are three different ‘story’ modes. These are the same basic game with random maps, but each have a goal that the player can accomplish for a reward. These different modes also contain unique entries in the datalog, so anyone wishing to fill their lists out will need to venture into these difficult areas.

The blight chasing the player can also spawn or convert enemies to keep players on their toes.

The last game type is the daily challenge. This is randomly generated map is the same for every player on the day it is attempted, and may only be played once a day. Here the the player cannot chose what items to take with them and is instead given whatever items are chosen for the map that day. The player can still chose their own class, along with any training that class may have received, so veterans are more likely to do better. Still, for a randomly generated single-player game, it is great to be able to compare attempts with friends. To aid in this, the game has the ability to tweet scores built into it.

Shattered Planet began life as a mobile game, and it shows in its graphical style. All the art is detailed and colourful, and as smooth as they are, each unit only has a couple of different animations; resting, attacking, and moving. Currently equipped gear is reflected in the character model. The player customise the look of their character class, but this is usually hidden by the armor equipped.

Fans of the roguelike and RPG genres may be interested in Shattered Planet. Death is no major setback, and the persistence of character upgrades allow players of all skill levels to eventually tackle the harder content. Daily challenges allow players to compete against each other, and like Spelunky, the results can be posted to various social media sites for the world to try and beat. The game can get a little repetitive, but skill will allow player to push on to new areas.

Battle Princess of Arcadias

Developed by Apollosoft and published by NIS America as a digital-only release in the West for the PlayStation 3, Battle Princess of Arcadias is a 2D side-scrolling action RPG in the same vein as Odin Sphere. In Battle Princess, the player takes on the role of the titular character. The sole responsibility of this member of the royal family is to lead the armies of the kingdom of Schwert into battle, fighting on the front lines alongside the troops to ensure victory in every campaign.

Like Odin Sphere, Battle Princess feature combat levels where the player chooses up to three characters to battle monsters across the map until all the enemies have been cleared. These levels do not offer much in the way of challenge and be seen as an opportunity to grind. Enemies drop items for enhancing weapons, and extra are awarded at the end of the level based on the players performance. Combos do not end unless the player is hit, so keeping enemies at bay while building up a large tally of hits will offer the best rewards.

Boss battles involve swarming the enemy with troops while dealing plenty of damage with the active character.

The other types of combat revolve around the use of Schwert’s army. Skirmishes pit the players army against that of an opponent. Weapon types come into play here, as there is an extended version of Rock, Paper, Scissors being played. Each character commands a squad that uses the same weapon type as they do, and squads can be levelled up using gold, up to the same level as their commander. Commands can be issued to the current squad to alter their performance on the battlefield. Every command consumes morale, a resource gained when enemy combatants are slain. A full bar can be consumed to unleash a devastating attack on the opposing squad. The last type of engagement is against bosses. The squads are all combined into a single army to fight an individual creature. The challenge is not as great as facing off against another army, but players need to careful not to lose all their troops.

The weapon enhancement system of Battle Princess is incredibly simple. Most items found in during combat are used to add stats to a weapon. Each weapon can only be upgraded a limited number of times, but rarer items have more upgrade potential. Weapons can be bought from a shop in town, but they can also drop in the field as well. Weapon drops can vary. Rarer items of the same type can carry more upgrades, and have special abilities that can be unlocked. Unlocking these abilities often requires some of the better rewards from completing maps, so players are incentivised to replay maps beyond just grinding.

Like any anime kingdom, Schwert contains every biome imaginable.

The plot of Battle Princess of Arcadias is fairly odd and filled with many anime tropes. It follows the tale of Princess Plume who takes it upon herself to battle for the Schwert Kingdom. From the talking animals to perverted men, the story throws a lot of information and characters at the player between each battle. Most interactions between the characters are delivered through silly one-liners or outlandish situations. Even though there are so many colourful personalities in the game, it can be troublesome to try and remember each and every one of them because they do not deviate much from the trope they represent. Even though the game is fairly short, each story segment does seem to last an eternity. Judging by how the characters react to each other, at times it seems amazing that the King manages to run his kingdom at all!

Thankfully, where the story and core gameplay lack slightly, they are somewhat made up for by the excellent production values. The graphics, in a word, are gorgeous. They lose a little of their shine when in motion, as Battle Princess can look like a 2D browser game thanks to low-count animations, but ultimately they come off as pretty adorable. Plus, the use of the entire color palette to detail environments and backgrounds really does wonders for the overall visuals. The audio does a nice job complementing the aesthetics, with a soundtrack that is especially whimsical. There is no dual voice-track option, which means the spoken dialogue of Battle Princess is entirely Japanese, but the performances from the voice actors are solid overall.

Battle Princess of Arcadias is a rather safe game to play. The combat is easy and never really troubles the player. Any challenge that is present in the maps can be mitigated by over-levelling in earlier maps while also collecting weapon enhancing items. The weapon system lets players customise weapons to suit their tastes, but it is not very deep. The cast has bags of personality, but very little in the way of interesting things to say. There will be an audience for the game though, because despite the fact that it could have been so much more, or better suited to a handheld device, it is still a competent game that delivers a good experience.

Angry Birds Epic

Angry Birds started life as a puzzle game where the player used the titular birds to attack their enemies, the pigs, across a variety of flimsy fortifications. Since then the game and its cast have shot to fame and expanded into other themes with Seasons, Space and Star Wars, and other genres with Bad Piggies and Go. Epic is Rovio Entertainment’s latest foray into a different genre. This time the birds star in their own role-playing game for Android, iOS and Windows. This review is based on the iOS version.

As with most iterations of the franchise, the game begins with the piggies stealing eggs from the birds. Red begins his adventure solo, recruiting the rest of the cast as his adventure takes him across a rather large and detailed world map. Each level on the map represents a combat encounter for the player to deal with, and each level can be replayed multiple times for higher scores and additional loot. Before beginning combat, the player is shown the approximate difficulty of the battle, as well as the crafting materials that can be won from the fight. Once the player has recruited a sufficient number of allies, this is also where they will select which of the birds are taken into combat.

Combat is a standard turn-based fare. The player goes first, using each of their birds before the piggies take their own turn. Each bird has three types of attack; offensive, defensive, and rage. Offensive attacks deal direct damage to one or more opponents and sometimes have additional effects, such as Red’s taunt. Defensive abilities are usually a way of mitigating or dealing damage through passive effects. Rage attacks are all-out moves that are extremely powerful, but require a full chilli rage bar to use. The chilli rage bar is built whenever the player deals or is dealt damage, and is consumed to use a single attack.

Angry Birds Epic uses a turn base battle system.

Play continues in turns until the player wins or is defeated. Players are scored based on the value of the enemies killed and the amount of life each of their team has left. Up to three stars are awarded based on the players score for the level, and each star represents an additional piece of loot that can be collected by the player. A wheel showing all the potential prizes the player can collect is then spun, and any section that falls on a star the player has been awarded is then given to the player. After finishing a level, a flag is raised showing the most stars the player has earned there. Each enemy killed also earn the player experience. Experience is gained for the account, and gaining levels increases the attack and health of all the players birds.

After a few levels, the player gains access to crafting. All loot gained from fights are actually crafting materials used to produce new weapons, armour, or items. Made using alchemy, single use items can be consumed in battle for a variety of effects. Weapons and armour are produced in the forge to increase attack and health respectively. Recipes must be bought or found before new items can be made, and the outcome of crafting is slightly random. After something is crafted, a dice will roll from zero to three stars for it. Each star increases the amount of an item produced, or increases the effectiveness of a piece of a equipment. New gear will sometimes change a birds skill set.

The world map is impressively detailed. More areas are likely to be added in later content patches.

There are reasons to come back to Epic daily. Once per day the player can fight the golden piggy for coins, loot, and in-game currency. There also seven dungeons, one for each day of the week, that give the player the opportunity to earn more coins. For these they must use one of their friends birds in addition to two of their own. Alternatively, Piggy McCool can be used as a default friend, or one of the Mighty Eagle’s elite birds can be bought for use.

This would not be an Angry Birds without there being some kind of micro transactions or Facebook involved. Epic can be played completely free and without being connected to a Facebook account, but with both it is made substantially easier. Having friends tied to the game allows the player to collect friendship essence from them daily. This resources allows the player to spin the loot wheel again for a chance at better loot, or to re-roll the dice on crafting for better results. Some levels reduce the number of birds a player can bring, requiring them to ask friends for an extra party member. There are also friendship gates that the player needs to ask their friends to help open. Premium currency can also be used to open friendship gates, as well purchase coins, essence and upgrades to make the players life easier.

Angry Birds Epic is a solid game that introduces RPG mechanics to the franchise. Levels can be replayed for extra loot and higher scores, and become far easier with better characters and equipment. However, the whole game is let down by adverts and the ability to make the game far easier than it needs to be. This is a franchise aimed at children, and while they are unlikely to spend any real money without the parents consent, the danger of the child irritating the parents with constant requests for in-game currency is high enough that the game will be deleted very quickly anyway.

Demon Gaze EU Box Art

Demon Gaze is a dungeon crawling RPG developed by Kadokawa Games and Experience Inc. for the PlayStation Vita. Released in Japan on January 24, 2013, it was published in the West by NIS America last month. Demon G is a sequel of sorts to Students of the Round, a game that never saw release outside of Japan. Thankfully, Demon Gaze is set 1000 years after the first game, and only shares a few similarities with it.

After a brief tutorial that finds the player fighting and sealing away their first demon, it is explained that they are a Gazer – a person who has the ability to summon the demons they defeat to aid them in combat. As the world is a pretty nasty place where territory has been divided up into areas by the demons that control them, this makes the player a very powerful ally to those around him because he can seal away the demons, making each area less dangerous to all the regular adventures who hunt for treasure to pay the cost of living at the local inn. This is a fact that is not lost on the player, because even though their character is making life better for everyone else, he still has to pay his way all the same.

Regular forays must be made into the various areas of the world to make money. Rent is paid once the player returns to the inn, however long they have been absent for. The games does not force the player to pay rent when it is requested, but rewards them for doing so if they do regularly. Enemies drop fairly little money when defeated, but they can drop gems. Gems are placed in demon circles that are found scattered around each map, and are the only way of collecting gear upgrades for the player’s party. What drops can be a little random at times, but anything that is not needed can be sold off for cash, or can be used for extracting Ether.

Gems are used in a demon circle to summon enemies that will drop gear.

Ether is used to upgrade pieces of gear the player has, but each type of gear has its own ether associated with it. This can cause a fair bit of equipment grinding once a decent upgrade has been found, but extra gems can be bought from the inn’s item shop to guarantee that the correct type of weapon drops for the type of ether the player requires. This cycle of using demon circles and returning to the inn continues until the player has claimed all the circles on a map, then the demon will spawn somewhere for the player to challenge. There fights are no walkover, and will require the player to use all the skills at their disposal.

For the most part, combat is fairly simple. New areas sometimes offer a little challenge to begin with, bit the inclusion of a ‘repeat last action’ button allows the player to quickly dispatch of less troublesome foes. Combat is turn-based, and while there are random encounters, the are some tiles of the dungeon that are guarded by enemies on each visit to the map. Fights that offer slightly more challenge can spawn in random places, sometimes preventing the player from progressing too quickly. Demon circles also act as a save point, so should the player die, there is no real excuse for losing more than a few minutes of progress.

Battles are turn based, but fighting demons can force players to fight with all their skill.

Similar to the Dark Souls games, players can leave messages for each other on each tile of the dungeon. This ranges from the helpful (telling others where to find hidden items), the annoying (overtly sexual messages about the female NPCs), and the annoying (major plot spoilers). The player is given the choice to receive these messages every time they enter a map, but an internet connection is required to receive them. All the hidden treasure can be found by collecting maps, but this can take time as they drop randomly.

Very little in Demon Gaze is animated. Character portraits are static during conversations, but the multiple versions to convey emotion. Enemies are also static during combat, but despite this, all the art is beautifully drawn. Art can be a little on the risqué side for some of the females at times (could be most of the time depending on the the players choice of party members), but even the odd male will try and strip themselves off now and again.

The majority of the dialogue during plot scenes are voice acted. At other times characters will throw out the odd word when talking with the player. Each area has ambient music to go with the theme of the area. There are no real stand out tracks, but each tune works well the area it is found in. The same combat music can get repetitive after a while, which is another good reason to fast forward through easier opponents.

Demon Gaze is a dungeon crawler and the first of its kind on the PlayStation Vita. Some design decisions may seem strange to gamers who are used to the Etrian Odyssey series, but anyone who has tried Class of Heroes will feel at home here.