We choose… THE FALLEN SUN.

Greetings, mortals. Lusipurr.com is proud to announce the immediate rehiring of disgraced former columnist “The Fallen Sun, Esquire.”

The Fallen Sun is set to immediately return for a weekly Thursday editorial slot known as “Social Justice and You: A Primer in 136 Parts”, in addition to a weekly column in which he will discuss strategies for implementing Marxist social theory and practice into gaming.

“We are pleased to announce Mr. Fallen Sun’s return,” said site boss Lusipurr. “His absence has been marked by a period where there was insufficient ‘tut-tutting’ at people for enjoying immoral and degenerate entertainment, and certainly not enough literary jokes.”

“This cannot come at a better time,” Mr. Fallen Sun said, reached at his desert lair where he develops games in which you are only allowed to shoot white people, such as last year’s seminal Everyone’s Gone to the New Black Panther Party Rally, which Polygon scored as a 12/10 and praised as the most significant advance in gaming since V.R. was first announced in like 2009 (or something? Who knows? Thinking about the past is a microaggression). The Fallen Sun weighed in on the importance of his addressing present gaming culture by citing the state of the industry:

“I mean, have you seen the state of gaming lately? Just the other day, I was sitting in the Frankfurt School lobby, discussing Marcuse and Adorno with Anita Sarkeesian over a glass of white male tears, and it came to my attention that they just let anyone play games, even if they plan to vote for Donald Trump! The nerve of some people. As Karl Marx wrote in his finest work, The Critique of Pure Capital, voting for protofascist Oompa-Loompas is the first step down a dark path to a future in which all government buildings will be made of the tackiest gold and marble. You’ve heard of Brutalist architecture favored by European fascists? Wait until you see Drumpfist architecture. Everything is ‘yooge’ and ‘classy.’ Those aren’t even real adjectives.”

Mr. Fallen Sun intends to attach a PowerPoint presentation to every podcast, with signs intended to generate the maximum amount of white guilt:

“As a ‘social justice warrior,’ I know that there’s nothing more satisfying than saying moderately barbed things about white people online, and without a well-coordinated slideshow, I am concerned that there may be some white men who fall through the cracks and are not made to feel ashamed of who they are on any given day; and, failing to meet those social justice quotas is how you get a really bad seat at the next meeting. Last week, I was stuck next to some dry academic who thought that Judith Butler was outmoded and there was more vital work being done in feminist philosophy! I hit him with a copy of Dworkin’s Woman Hating–he eventually submitted and agreed to read Butler’s Gender Trouble until he finds enlightenment. I hope that through my PowerPoint, we can all come to understand that complex understandings of history, sociology, philosophy, and social theory are things of the past, and reducing our ‘enemies’ to convenient strawmen will poison discourse and foreclose any mutual understanding or respect. It’s time to take back the memes of production!”

The Fallen Sun, pictured shutting down the notoriously patriarchal “IO Club” in Englandland.

When asked whether he meant the “means of production,” as standard Marxist-Leninist theory suggests, Mr. Fallen Sun immediately took to his blog (deathtoeverysinglegamer.tubmlr.com), where his six followers were all quite upset that the question was even posed. His followers proposed that Mr. Fallen Sun give a statement at the South by Southwest Conference in Austin next year–a proposal which was gleefully accepted. Former President Barack Obama will moderate the panel from his new home in Dubai, where he hopes to assist President Clinton II in identifying subversives to be brought to secret chambers below Harvard University for “re-education” in what some are calling the “American Lubyanka.”

At the present time, Lusipurr can not be reached for further comment, as he is maintaining his constant vigil around the home of ex-game-designer Peter Molyneux, just in case Mr. Molyneux should attempt to leave and attempt to return to game design, a future Lusipurr described only as “worse than the Nazis” and “the kind of thing you can only imagine after playing Sonic 2006.”

Those who wish to join The Fallen Sun as members of the Lusipurr.com staff are encouraged to complete the site employment application.

Lusipurr.com

Like death, working at Lusipurr.com was an inevitability for me, and upon writing this introduction, I am still not sure which came first. On one hand, I have a boss whose name is surprisingly similar to an evil entity, and on the other I am writing posts for what has been scientifically proven as one of the best websites on the Internet.*

I suppose this is a good a time as any to formally introduce myself to Lusipurr.com. While I have commented in the past as both Shadow4699 and my current nickname, the time has finally come in which I have the opportunity to write for the site. The reason being is that, if there is one thing that the Internet as a whole has been lacking, it is my opinion being presented in an official website. Some might follow me on Twitter and get messages that are limited to 140 characters, but through this medium I can give clear and concise opinions on the troubles plaguing the world. These can vary from the shortage of Amiibo in stores to the problematic video games being funded on Kickstarter to fans’ dismay.

Speaking of which, I should mention that I am undeniably a big fan of Nintendo in both their video games and consoles, and my knowledge of video game related topics is definitely skewed as a result. (We will work on this. -Lusi) This does not mean that I plan on taking a defensive side towards Nintendo related topics, or that I am uneducated on video game topics outside their realm, but I felt as if it needed to be said before I start officially writing editorials. My very first system was a Nintendo Game Boy Advance, and the very first game I played on it was Sonic Advance 2. Ever since then, I have been consistently using Nintendo consoles and playing their games, making me the man I am today. Which is admittedly a very young baby-ish looking man who is sad to look at for extended periods of time. I am sure that this has shone through in my profile picture on my biography page as I look exhausted just to be alive, which is not too far off from the truth.

I also play and own a large collection of video games on my computer, leaving me to know about some obscure ones which I hope to shed light on in the future so that more can know about the wonders of games such as Cook, Serve, Delicious! and Huniepop. The former of which is one of the best mobile games I have had the pleasure of playing and the latter is a game that I plan on writing about later because there is quite a bit to discuss when it comes to that game as it is filled with what one can only describe as sin.

The point I am trying to make is that I plan on staying on this website for a long period of time and I can not wait to start this new and exciting adventure. Working for this site as I said before was an inevitability, but I could not be happier to start and I look forward to releasing editorials every Thursday for the foreseeable future. Make sure to leave a message in the comments below, they can either be welcoming or filled with very mean words which would undoubtedly hurt my feelings. See you next Thursday!

*We legally cannot prove that.

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The ENEMY of our time! Behold his brandished weaponry, his dead eyes, his scowling brow, his fist raised to strike!

Lusipurr.com Headquarters
Zestria Tower No. 1, Zestria Dr.
Zestria™ville (formerly Topeka), KS
Her Majesty’s American Colonies

WHEREAS Christopher ‘Sabine’ Privateer hath in DIVERS AND SUNDRY WAYS flounted the GOODWILL, GENEROSITY, and CHARITABLE NATURE of the READERSHIP of Lusipurr.com; and,

WHEREAS the said Christina hath SCORNED the acts of CHARITY expressed by the aforesaid site with regard to the DELIVERY of one (1) block of refined Zestria™ (the revolutionary new additive that simply everyone is talking about!), weight fifty pounds (50lb), by REFUSING the said delivery attempt by the UNITED PARCEL SERVICE of Sandy Springs, Georgia; and,

WHEREAS the said Chrissy remaineth UNREPENTANT and persisteth in CHURLISH hostility to our EXPANSIVE and EVER-GROWING readership;

Lusipurr.com has no alternative but to declare WAR upon the aforesaid Chrissa, with immediate effect.

Given this day by my hand,

LUSIPURR

17 March 2015
God Save the Queen!

Lusipurr.com Seal

Greetings fellow humans! It appears I have been given the opportunity to work with you fine folks, and for that I am grateful. However, I must first confess that I learned of a basement in need of an occupant, and my caffeine-addled brain rationalized that staying underground is probably safer, no matter how deliberately uncomfortable the seating. Any sort of furnished dwelling with depth is typically an easy sell to me and my kin, who prefer their environs to be dimly illuminated and relatively removed from the harmful gaze of Earth’s yellow sun. That there is a writing opportunity involved is a delicious icing on the cake.

I think it might go without saying that I enjoy games. They have, in one way or another, been a part of my life ever since my younger self figured out that the Intelivision’s controller was so much more than an imaginary telephone. As it turns out, it was a key to a multidimensional door. I do not remember much from my childhood, but memories of dodging terrible robots in Night Stalker are easily the clearest images I can recall from those days, next to the ones of my mom informing me that it was way past my bedtime and something about it being a “school night.”

Those humble beginnings have never been forgotten, even as I aged and began to explore other areas of interest. These days, while not working on a MUD, or generally seeking fun of the gaming variety, I can often be found thumbing the dials of a shortwave or ham radio, giving a few hunks of wood a new purpose involving holding humans and their things, or devouring a book or two. I find myself particularly drawn to sci-fi, but my unquenchable thirst for knowledge leads me to turn some very strange and wonderful pages. This has left me with a fairly strong policy of knowing what I do not know, and aiming to fix it.

There is another aspect to gaming that I am extremely fond of, and that is board games. It could be argued that my strong affinity toward cardboard and dice is the result of a Pavlovian connection to my friend’s candy bowl, which I will often pilfer as we attempt to conquer a world of strategy on his dining room table. I will deny this connection as false representation of my actions, as they are merely an attempt to clear space for the neglected treats sitting in his cupboard. I am just doing my part in helping control the sweets population.

In the end, I enjoy writing. I suppose that is why I am a fan of RPGs. There is a story to tell, and in some cases, it is up to us to tell it. Story telling and playing games are ancient traditions that ring certain bells with me, which I find impossible to ignore. It is my goal to bring something of value to the collective Lusipurr.com table while being willing to both improve and learn something in the process. My being here is an act of growth and I am delighted to be a part of the team!

Lusipurr.com

What ho, hello thar, greetings, and Friends, Romans, and Countrymen.

My name is Christian ‘Iliya Moroumetz’ Clark. After bribing Lusipurr to let me be his personal chef and thug, he, in his infinite wisdom, mercy, and vision, allowed me to start writing articles for him. All jesting aside, I am honored and humbled that I have the chance to write articles for the site.

Being somewhat older than most gamers, I was around before Nintendo hit the western shores, playing Manhole with the mac, yet, having no idea how it was supposed to work back in the early to mid 80s. I also was large into the stand up arcade games that you younger peoples would hear about. It takes me back; the tacky and discolored carpets, the loud and obnoxious rock blaring out of the speakers, the many pointless lights in attempts to blind you, and the punishingly difficult games meant to be hard to pilfer you of your quarters.

Even as the home consoles from Nintendo came about, I still loved the arcades because that was the only place you could play the Neo-Geo games without shelling out seven hundred dollars. Yet, throughout the years, my love of the stories presented in these game, both home and arcade, despite as minimalist as they were, captured my imagination. It lead to Final Fantasy 2 and 3 for the SNES being some of my favorite games of that generation because Square, at the time, knew how to use so much with so little.

These days, however, on the verge of becoming a chef, or line cook for my internship if you want to be specific, time is not as prevalent as it was in my younger days, however, I use my time to play games that I know I will play and enjoy for the story mostly. It also has made me somewhat jaded on account that most ‘writers’ in videos are not really all that interested in writing good stories, but would rather make a game instead of something to think or remember, much to my consternation.

On the other hand, I am a masochist in some cases. I still play World of Warcraft and Diablo 3. And League of Legends, because a part of me hates myself and wants to wallow in the mud with the unwashed masses.

Not one to stay within a particular genre, I have been getting into a few select shooters that tickle my fancy. And by a few, I mean one; as the Bioshock games, while imperfect, are certainly deeper and more capable of drawing you into their world instead of your run of the mill HETEROSEXUAL MANDEATH 6: FIERY CHAINSAW BLOOD GUN EDITION!

Another aspect of my self-harming tendencies is arguing with people about the merits of storytelling in games and how we need to stop being lazy about them until I am blue and or red in the face.

Outside of games; I am a savant of B grade movies thanks to the immortal Mystery Science Theater 3000, and its spiritual successors; Rifftrax and Cinematic Titanic. As previously noted, I am a chef because I love to cook. Also, being a classically trained singer, I still have aspirations to fame and fortune as a world traveling opera performer. Yes, yes, delusions of grandeur, but at least they are grand!

With all that, I hope to raise the level of discourse about a hobby that has been with me through my whole life, before power slamming it through the floor in ways that would make Mayor Mike Haggar proud.

Lusipurr.com

Hello, staff and readers of Lusipurr.com! I am Ethan ‘Regg’ Stone, loyal servant of the Great Lusipurr. While I have only known of Lusipurr.com for perhaps a few months at most, I am certainly thrilled to be a part of the staff, writing grand editorials on the latest on publisher shenanigans and hard-hitting reviews on the year’s hottest Xbox One exclusives!

Like a lot of younger gamers, I started with a Nintendo Game Boy Color, and a copy of Pokemon Blue. I played it to my heart’s content, bothering few other games until I managed a copy of Pokemon Silver, which I obsessed over just as I did its predecessor. It was not until a few years later that I got my hands on a Gameboy Advance, Nintendo Gamecube, and Playstation all within a short time that my gaming horizons expanded. I became obsessed with all sorts of different games, from Rayman to Super Monkey Ball and of course, Pokemon Ruby. I played Gamecube games religiously with my brothers and friends, caught up in staples like Super Smash Bros. Melee and Battalion Wars until the Xbox 360 became popular, alongside Halo 3 and the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare franchise.

Nowadays, I am not afforded the free time to play games that I was in high school, and with an active World of Warcraft subscription…well, you can guess where the rest of my free time goes. When I do find myself with the time for games though, I love playing Civilization V and have found myself looking to get into the Fallout franchise. I suppose on that note that I should mention that I am a big fan of Western RPGs, as opposed to their Japanese counterparts. Not that I take issues against Japanese RPGs, but with the exception of Dark Souls, I have yet to find a recent game that has truly seemed appealing. If you have any suggestions for PC, feel free to comment, and I will be sure to give them a look!

Otherwise, I truly do not play many games outside of the occasional urge to play through an FPS on my old Xbox 360, or my brother’s Xbox One. They are certainly my gaming guilty pleasure, but one I cannot stomach long. I’ve yet to finish the Halo 4 campaign, and I started that years ago! I also get a kick out of the FIFA franchise, in which I have put several hours into this year’s installment. Outside of gaming, I love finding books and television series that enthrall me, and tend to take on whatever fantasy series or television show recommended to me. As of late, I have been busy with House of Cards, and will most likely be looking into some of Joe Abercrombie’s novels.

It is my hope that I will be able to get to know my readers and fellow writers, putting out entertaining and informative editorials, unbiased and analytic reviews, and of course, hearing back from the wonderful community at Lusipurr.com.

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Hey everybody, my name is Jason McMannis and I have been tasked with bringing you video game reviews and editorials, all for the bargain bin price of my immortal soul! I suppose I could be described as somewhat of a retro gamer, though I own all of the current generation consoles and handhelds. My earliest memory of playing a video game was Super Mario Bros. on the Nintendo Entertainment System when I was just five years old, and it has pretty much remained a life long addiction. I mostly stick to RPGs and action/adventure games, but it is worth noting that I have spent approximately ten years honing my craft in both Super Smash Bros. Melee and Street Fighter 3: 3rd Strike (challenges welcome). Video games are only one of my many nerdy obsessions though. Listening to music has long been my primary passion, and my tastes range from recent indie rock and electronic all the way back to classic jazz and blues. I am a bit of a cinema junkie as well, though I tend to stick to art house and classic films instead of big budget blockbusters. Anime, history, and baseball round out my list of devoted interests.

Like many of you I found out about Lusipurr.com through the loose affiliation with Cat Fancy. There were a few memorable podcasts on that site where Lusipurr drove panelists and listeners alike into a mad frenzy, which I found particularly entertaining. Naturally I gravitated towards The Starlight Megaphone in search of similar humor and have been a listener ever since. I applied to be a reviewer not only because I have a burning passion for video games, but also because like many of you I am disgusted and mildly ashamed of what the industry has become. We all have fond early memories of video games just like my hazy Mario recollection, but this new generation of young gamers are being subjected to rampant industry greed, DRM nightmares, and horrendously misused Kickstarter funds. I feel like these sad truths need to be exposed and discussed, and as evidenced by their incendiary rants about the state of the industry, Lusipurr.com agrees.

Certainly gaming is not all gloom and doom these days. I am excited to have the opportunity to write reviews for some of the fantastic games I have been playing lately. For instance Fire Emblem: Awakening on 3DS, which I ravenously completed within two weeks of its release, is probably the best strategy rpg Japan has produced since Final Fantasy Tactics. Another fine example is Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate, which had the dual effect of forcing me to master its complexities while also giving my Wii U something to do other than collect dust. The horizon looks particularly bright for the remainder of 2013, with enticing titles like Tales of Xillia, Saints Row IV, and Etrian Odyssey Untold: The Millenium Girl looming in the distance.

As a loyal vassal for the kingdom of Lusipurr.com I can assure you that my criticism of games will be fair and unbiased. Unless it was developed by Activision, in which case I will immediately judge the game by its cover and dismiss it as garbage. All joking aside, I am excited to get to work for the site and I want to thank in advance anyone who takes the time to read my posts. See you in the comments section!

Lusipurr.com Seal

Hello readers, I have joined Lusipurr.com! For reasons I hope are less to do with some kind of cruel experiment and more to do with an earnest evaluation of my potential, I have been hired by Lusipurr. What wrongness will I commit? It remains to be seen, which is why you are compelled to read on! My time reading the site spans back to the salad days of RPGamer and the old Q and A column. Lusipurr’s presence in the column and in the podcast at Cat Fancy always caught my interest and when I learned he had created his own website I was all over it. Eventually Lusipurr.com entered my daily rotation of gaming news sites and the small community meant a closer connection to the authors. From there, I was hooked.

Of course I would not be reading sites like this if I did not have a strong interest in video games. My older brother did a lot to introduce me to them. He got the NES and later the SNES for Christmas, after all. I still have his old back issues of Nintendo Power on a shelf. My passion grew noticeably throughout middle school when my friends and I would gather around a small CRT television set and play Nintendo 64 party games, the likes of Super Smash Bros., Perfect Dark, and Conker’s Bad Fur Day. From there, into high school and as the Internet bloomed, I began to take a deeper and deeper interest in video games. I got my very own Gamecube for Christmas, that I did not have to share, and I began to learn more about the games released for it. I would learn more about the industry itself through the early fan sites which grew into the major news sites we see today. The buzz of new release info for an anticipated game and the bustle of the Electronics Entertainment Expo would become as much a part of video games as the games themselves. Raised on the drip feed of five dollars for lunch as an allowance during high school, as well as the typical gift giving occasions like birthdays, I had to curb my growing appetite for games. Until, of course, I went to college and got a job.

Today I enjoy games concurrently across no less than six gaming systems, all plugged in an operational. My smallest library, for my new 3DS, already has five games. The largest of those six has over fifty. The backlog, unsurprisingly and perhaps sympathetically, is more than I care to think of. But I have started the vast majority of the games I own. Over the last two years I have migrated to PC gaming, indeed in many cases I have re-bought old games on Steam for the PC simply to consolidate my available library onto one device. The advantages to this are probably best discussed elsewhere, but it has left me in a curious position regarding consoles. Are they still worth it? I am sure I will find out as the next round from Microsoft and Sony hit shelves soon, but for now I think I can say I have the field covered.

So with that, I hope to add something special to Lusipurr.com. This is my first step into the content creator side of things as well as journalism as a whole. I eagerly await your comments, avid reader. Even you. Especially you!

Lusipurr.com

Hullo, FaceBookers.

We wanted to let you know that, in a few days, Lusipurr.com will close its FaceBook presence. Our Facebook fans deserve an explanation for this, so here it is.

Our readers know that Lusipurr.com has a strident anti-advertising stance. We deplore corporate monetisation policies. Our support for Indie games and the free-use and ad-free design of our site reflects our devotion to the ideals of a user-centred, open internet.

Unfortunately, over the years, sites like Facebook and Twitter have become increasingly corporate-focused in an effort to generate revenues. These movements have come at the cost of their user’s rights. Now, Facebook’s opaque data collection means that its users (including this account) do not have access to the information stored about them, nor do they have control over that information. A user cannot take their FB social network with them, despite that it is comprised of the user’s own friends and connexions.

This might have been fine when there were no alternatives; when, as a free service and the most successful of its kind, Facebook was new and unchallenged. However, there are now excellent alternatives, the best of which is App.net (ADN), which opened an invite-only freemium access on the 25th instant. With better alternatives–alternatives that are focused on the individual users and not on advertising or corporate profiteering–it is time to leave the initial stages of the social network behind.

If Facebook was Social Network 1.0, it is time for us to move on to Social Network 2.0: a network where users own their content and their connexions; where those properties easily can be taken from one service and transferred to another, leaving nothing behind, if so desired. It is time for users to have control of their own data for, after all, that data is about them, local to them, individual to them.

WHEREAS Facebook seems to have become too associated with advertising to be compatible with the goals of Lusipurr.com and WHEREAS there are other and better alternatives available, Lusipurr.com will close its FaceBook page on 1 March. Henceforth, Lusipurr.com will maintain a Social Network presence on App.net and, for the present, Twitter.

We encourage you to follow us on either of those two networks, and to share with your friends the Social Network 2.0 revolution. Goodbye, Facebook. Hello, world.

Our App.net page can be found here.

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Hello, Lusipurr fans. My name is The Legendary Zoltan and I am thrilled to be the new Music Director at Lusipurr.com. I have been listening to The Starlight Megaphone for less than a year, I think, and I have enjoyed it so much that I even went back and listened to all the Megaphones Ahoy! Podcast episodes. They are hilarious and highly recommended, if you like chaos.

I have been into games since the Atari 2600. When I was a kid, I saved my weekly three-dollar allowance for sixty-seven weeks and was able to buy myself a Super Nintendo for my twelfth birthday. I beat Super Mario World in three days and was quite proud of myself. In high school, I was introduced to Final Fantasy VI and Chrono Trigger and loved them both. I was also getting into anime and playing video game music on my newly-acquired guitar at this time. But what really turned me into the otaku I am today was a little game called Xenogears. The music, the mecha, and the masterfully written story blew my mind like nothing before it. From that game forward, I was hooked on JRPGs. Now I play exclusively PlayStation 3 games. The small number of great JRPGs available does have me concerned but on the other hand, it still feels like there are more than I could ever play because of how little time I have to play games these days.

Now that you have heard my gaming history, how about some music? I have many favorites so I will just mention a few of the more famous ones. I started out listening to classic game soundtracks such as Mega Man 2 and Castlevania IV. I would always sing along when I played those games. My first favorite composer was Chrono Trigger‘s Yasunori Mitsuda. After playing Xenogears, I was constantly telling others that he is my favorite musician. I also loved Nobuo Uematsu and Yoko Shimomura, as I still do today. Other PlayStation era game soundtracks that I love include Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy IX, and Final Fantasy Tactics. I would say that the Final Fantasy Tactics soundtrack suits me the most because it is mainly battle music. In the PS2 era I fell in love with Daisuke Ishiwatari’s Guilty Gear soundtracks, Hitoshi Sakimoto’s Final Fantasy XII OST, and Koichi Sugiyama’s Dragon Quest VIII orchestrations.

I have big plans to be executed during my (hopefully long) stay at Lusipurr.com. Having listened to every single episode of Lusipurr’s podcasts, I feel I’ve come to know a little bit of who the Lusipurr character is and what he stands for and I respect it. I can see he has a vision for this site and that vision is exciting to me. Thus, I would like to be a part of it. There has never been any official Lusipurr music released so my goal is to compose a library of tracks that are largely exclusive to Lusipurr.com. I have confidence that the current readership will enjoy what I have to offer.

Lusipurr.com

Hail Lusipurr.com readers! Please allow me to introduce myself to you all, as I may clearly appear to lack the scars and scratch marks which come with being a regular Lusipurr.com insider. I do have one scar from whence Lusipurr himself stole my soul. With a straw. The bendy sort. My introduction to this site came by way of a friend’s recommendation, a certain Mega-bird of some sort, and it was while I was dazzled by the new lights and sounds that I heard him cry “What Ho!” and felt a hard thump at the base of my head. I woke with a contract thrust before me. “Write and give us your soul.” it read. This sounded right enough, and so here I am.

My earliest gaming memories were ones of both joy and envy. I remember my family owning a Nintendo Entertainment System when I was about four or five years old, but beyond that I was cursed to lag a generation behind. While my friends played Power Rangers on their Super Nintendos, I was only able to enjoy the regular, un-super variation. When other friends were learning the joys of a CD-ROM drive, my Windows 3.1 machine would cry foul if I tried to insert anything beyond sharp, hard disks into her. I even had the unique misfortune of finally upgrading to a “brand new” system -the Sega Saturn- right before the release of the Dreamcast and Sega’s subsequent fall from grace.

If I sound bitter, that is entirely not my intention. In fact, I am very grateful for this state of my childhood. It forced me to network with others who had the fortune to possess those systems I did not, which helped me establish my friendship circle in the critical jungle of public elementary school. Furthermore, as necessity is the mother of invention, so too did my situation create in me a keen appreciation for “retro” and “classics” before they had even become a genre. It shuttled me away from popular trends that were completely out of my financial and technical reach and into niches I would have otherwise ignored. Thus, my dated computer forced me to consider Iron Realms MUDs like Achaea and Aetolia as viable alternatives to the adventures my friends were having in the realms of Norrath and, later on, Azeroth.

More recently I met a beautiful woman who enjoys the Elder Scrolls and Fallout universes as much as she enjoys her poetry books. Thankfully, however, I have not taken the plunge to pledge my life and can still live in hedonistic-bachelor-financial freedom. This has allowed me to continue burning massive sacrifices of currency during the annual pagan festivals “Steam-winter-salia” and “Steam-summer-salia,” amassing a collection that rivals certain museums. Aside from games, I maintain a close relationship to the hobbies cooking, reading, and traveling. At some point between all these things I also managed to graduate with a Bachelors in History and continued my studies at the graduate level, with a special interest in American religious history and historical education.

This brings me back to Lusipurr.com. In exchange for giving Lusipurr my soul, I plan to write about those niches I explored in my days of want, to explore the little communities that make up the larger community we call ‘”Gamers.” I am sure that I will also seek every opportunity to divulge my historical knowledge, insofar as it pertains to games, but I would not profess to establish myself as an expert as such matters. Now, as I am seeing threatening signals from the men offstage, I must bring things to a close. Thank you all for this opportunity, and I look forward to being a member of this dedicated, avid, and soulless community. All hail Lusipurr!

Lusipurr.com)

Hello Lusipurrians! My name is James Pagel, the next in a long line of former readers turned staff members. It has been deemed, by Lusipurr himself no less, that I am not too stupid to work at this fantastic site. Once I finish signing the ownership of my soul to Emperor Lusi, I will be bringing you a post each and every Thursday. You may remember me from the exquisite biography that Lusipurr did for the Reader of the Year article, however I am being told to dig deeper into my background. I have been reading this site since it began, and before that, I followed Lusipurr during his time with RPGamer. With the conclusion of my rehab, I decided to try my hand at writing for this site that has done so much for me already.

My background in games started with Super Mario Bros. for the NES. My other early gaming adventures centered mainly around the first 3 Mario games, culminating with Super Mario 3. Just as I began to grow bored of my time with the NES, I received a Super NES along with a copy of Donkey Kong Country. After putting countless hours into Super Mario World, Yoshi’s Island and the three Donkey Kong Country titles, I rented my first RPG, the aptly named, Super Mario RPG. I fell instantly in love with the game and, being a 10-year-old kid with little money to purchase the game, I proceeded to rent the game five times. Even being so in love with my first journey into the RPG genre, I neglected to play any of the other excellent 16-bit RPGs–something I remedied in later years.

The first game that I purchased on the day of its release was Pokemon Red, a game which devoured my young life. With my brother owning Pokemon Blue, a heavy amount of trading took place. With the help of my brother’s Blue Version, I was able to capture all 150 of the original little beasts, a feat that I would not dare attempt with the current number of Pokemon. The Pokemon series remains my all time favorite gaming series, followed closely by Final Fantasy, with VI, VII, and XII being my favorites in that series.

I currently own a PC, Wii, 3DS, PSP, Xbox 360, and PS3. Lately, I have spent almost all of my time in a mad dash to try and reach level ninety in ; in addition, I have been ploughing through the excellent DLC of Borderlands 2. However I am hoping to purchase Ni No Kuni in the near future. Besides those games, I can also be found on Steam playing through one of the one hundred or so titles I own on the platform, or on the Wii playing New Super Mario Bros. with my wife. So, join me if you see me online, whether it be in the Perpetual Disappointment Guild, on Xbox Live, or PSN. I can not wait for my first article to go live and to read your comments!

Lusipurr.com Seal Site Logo

Greeting Lusipurr.com readers! I am the newest reader to sell my soul to Lusipurr. For the eternity that it is in his possession he has demanded that I bring you new posts every Friday. You may remember me as ‘The reader who donated and won a game’. I have been following the site since the first podcast, though I listened to Lusipurr while he was on RPGamer’s podcast. I soon tired of stalking Lusipurr across the internet and decided to try my hand at writing for him instead.

And now a little background on myself: when I was a child my parents owned a stationery shop which over time started stocking video games. Eventually the stationery was removed in favour of only stocking video games, consoles and peripherals. Throughout the 16-bit era I had access to every game released within the last few months, as well as a healthy selection of second-hand titles. When it came time to close the doors for the last time in 1999 I was well and truly hooked.

The first game I purchased with my own money was Pokemon Red. I had already found that role-playing games were my favourite genre after playing through all 3 Shining Force games on the Sega Mega Drive. Living in England I missed out on some of the better RPGs of the era, such as Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy IV & VI and Earthbound. When the PlayStation 2 was released I was tired of not having access to many games unreleased in Europe. I bought a PS2 from the states and began importing as many PS1 RPGs as I could find, eventually importing PS2 RPGs and playing them months ahead of their release in Europe. I would describe these as my hardcore years, when all my free time was spent playing games. Eventually I met a girl and settled down and soon my budget had priorities other than video games.

Currently I own a PC, PS3, DS, Wii and a PSP. I spend most of my gaming time playing World of Warcraft while streaming Netflix on my PS3. I enjoy progressing through heroic mode raids a couple of nights each week, otherwise I can usually be found dominating the glyph market on the auction house. I have traveled to stay with friends in other countries that I have met in Warcraft, even flying to the Netherlands to attend a guild meet-up of our 10-man raid team that included players from five different countries. Some of my fondest memories of the last few years come from meeting and spending time with people who I got to know in-game.

I still enjoy playing RPGs on consoles, though now I usually play with my kids. My son often provides me with a free level-grinding service in the recent Final Fantasy games. We spend many rainy afternoons together playing the recent Sonic the Hedgehog games. In a few years they will both be able to play and appreciate the games I had when I was their age. Will they enjoy them as much as I did? I believe that it will be a true test of the classics if the next generation cherish them as much as the last.

Lusipurr.com

Greetings Readers,

Over the past year, Lusipurr.com has experimented with a number of changes, great and small, to nearly every aspect of the site. We focused on professionalism, created a dedicated news department, changed the podcast format, opened donations, began selling merchandise, hosted TF2 nights, trebled the number of active staff, created editorial positions, opened a communications network with publishers and developers, launched a weekly webcomic, tried off-site hosting for comments, and began reviewing titles that we received as review copies from developers. Some of these approaches were well-received by our readership–others were not.

Nearly a year ago, I sat down with Jake ‘RootBeerKing’ Norwood to plan out what the new Lusipurr.com would look like. Now, a year later, even those of us who were here at launch can hardly remember how the original Lusipurr.com looked. It was blue–I think? Honestly, we can barely remember any of it. The new site layout has now become so associated with Lusipurr.com that no other layout, real or imagined, can seem ‘right’. This is the sign of a highly successful innovation. We created something that just fit. Would that this were always the case!

Remember this? I do.

But alas it is not always the case. Many of the developments we have tried out simply have not worked. Our news department, for example, did not suit the style or direction of the site. Nor did our discussion-centred roundtable podcasts. These were, certainly, fine ideas–but they were ideas that were not suitable for this site. Somewhere, along the way, our drive to increase professionalism led to us forgetting what made Lusipurr.com successful in the first place: our deliberate and calculated rejection of journalistic norms (which is quite different from a lack thereof), laid out in the service of laughs. “Presenting the news in a humourous and entertaining way”, the original Lusipurr.com Megaphones Ahoy! Podcast description reads. Nowhere in that description do we find the words professional, inoffensive, or serious.

Over the past few months, our readership has flatlined and reader interest seems to have gone down. Be assured, we notice these things. Posts receive fewer comments, podcasts go by almost-unnoticed, even the thoroughly excellent webcomic (one of the few consistently awesome site posts) seems to pass without remark all-too-frequently. As I watched this situation develop with increasing alarm, I began to ask myself, “How can we bring the magic back? What sort of action do we need to take?” Drastic action seemed necessary–and now, despite initial reluctance, I have taken actions that I think are necessary to put Lusipurr.com back on its original tack.

Sometimes, this is how it feels to run the site.

This site has always worked best with a small number of closely-knit staff members who produce content on a weekly basis and, hence, are deeply involved in the site and its future. Whilst having a large number of staff meant less frequent work, it also meant that our members were more diffuse and less involved. We now rectify that: some less-senior staff will be departing given that there are simply not enough posts for all of the people we have. Those senior staff who remain will be writing on a weekly basis–shorter posts, closer to the length of site posts from 2009 to early 2011. There will be fewer restrictions on authors, on the podcast, on reviews, on editorials. Authors will be responsible for their own proofs, allowing a more diverse array of author voice. And, above all, we have told people that having fun with their work is the first priority.

A muse for our time.

Lusipurr.com’s original goal at launch was to present the news in an entertaining and humourous way. Along the trip, we grew a bit, and lost sight of the importance of that goal. Now, we reassert its primacy. We hope that we can earn back the loyalty of our readers by making Lusipurr.com a place which keeps you laughing whilst simultaneously delivering important industry news.

And if the developers do not like it? Well, then, fuck ’em. We did without them for three years. I will just buy the games out of my own pocket and make certain every asshat who blacklists us gets NOTHING BUT ZEROES. You hear that, snarky devs? We will institute a number-rating scheme JUST to make certain that your vengefulness is repaid with nothing but naughts! If there is one thing that we know about here at Lusipurr.com, it is spiteful, vengeful, trollish dickery. Trust me. We invented it back in 1997, and we can SHOW YOU HOW IT IS DONE.

. . .

*Ahem.*

We are still in the process of getting our ducks in a row here, so there will not be any editorials or reviews today or tomorrow. However, there will be an Easter comic on Friday and a news round-up from SiliconNooB on Saturday. Sunday will see the ‘reboot’ (if I may employ an industry term) of the Lusipurr.com that, hopefully, many of you remember fondly. And I hope you are looking forward to it as much as I am.

Lusipurr.com has been your source for entertaining news since 2009. We hope to remain so for many years to come. Unless I win the lottery, in which case you lot are on your own: I’m moving to DisneyWorld.

Very truly yours,

Lusipurr
President and Editor-in-Chief,
Lusipurr.com

No Podcast for 2 January

There will be no podcast on 2 January, 2012, in observance of the Christmas and New Year’s Holidays. This will allow our staff members who are involved in the podcast to enjoy their New Year holiday without having to worry about site-related work.

Normal service will resume on the following Monday: 9 January. Until then, why not read a book, spend some time with family and friends, or play a game? And, of course, look forward to the annual Lusipurr.com Worst of the Year Awards next week.

Happy Christmas and Happy New Year from Lusipurr.com!

Lusipurr.com

Hello, all. I am Ghaleon (I would quote properly, but there are rules against it). I am new to Lusipurr.com, but am a long time gamer. You may have caught me playing Team Fortress 2 with the Lusipurr staff, but otherwise know little about me.

I was born in New Jersey, moved around a lot a child, and eventually settled in Illinois. Recently, I graduated college with a Political-Science major, focus in Pre-Law. Due to my time studying politics, I now want nothing to do with the field. At the moment, I am looking for work or possibly further schooling. I always welcome an opportunity to learn, as I have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. Also, a slightly easier to satisfy hunger for Oreos.

As for console video games, the earliest examples of any genre I played have become the standard by which I judge others. I have played or watched my older brothers play since I was pint-sized and adorable, which is forever ago. Our first system was the Nintendo Entertainment System, with games such as the Castlevania series, the Ninja Gaiden series, the Megaman series, among others. … Among many, many others. It was on the classic NES games that I learned to respect and enjoy more challenging games.

This masochism continued to when we obtained a Sega Genesis. Granted, many were enjoyable and somewhat forgiving (the Shining Force series, Phantasy Star IV), but of course we had to purchase some like the mildly difficult Warsong, which introduced me to permanent character death in an SRPG, and Battletoads, which introduced me to a new world of pain. Although we never owned an SNES, we borrowed one long enough for me to try Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy II/IV, and a few others.

Eventually, we upgraded our Genesis with the lovably boxy Sega CD. On that, we owned several Working Designs translated games, including the two Lunar games from which I take my namesake. It did not take long from there to move on to the Sega Saturn, although not until I experienced the joy that is a Sega CD connected to a Sega genesis connected to a copy of Sonic & Knuckles connected to a copy of Sonic the Hedgehog 2. For the Saturn, we continued the trend of Working Designs games with Albert Odyssey and the oh so amazing Dragon Force, as well as some other publisher’s works like Legend of Oasis. I still own the Saturn, although I’ve only the former two games in my current inventory.

The Nintendo 64 introduced me to first person shooters with Goldeneye 007, though we also owned classics such as Mario Kart 64 and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Not long after that, we purchased a PSX and Castlevania: The Symphony of the Night and Final Fantasy VII. It did not take long to fill out our collection with games like Valkyrie Profile, Vagrant Story, and the other PSX Final Fantasy games and re-releases, of which I most enjoyed Final Fantasy: Tactics and Final Fantasy 8. During this period, we also purchased a Dreamcast, primarily for Soul Calibur and Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver. Soon, we also tried the original Xbox and GameCube. However, these systems would soon by replaced by their recent descendants.

This brings me to my current systems (‘My’ because they are no longer shared with my brothers). I currently own a PS2, a Wii, an Xbox360, and of course the weathered Saturn. At this point, you may have noticed that it is extremely difficult to list every game I have owned, or even just the represented genres. Suffice to say, I have and have had too many games, and I did not even get into the PC game collection (X-Com: UFO Defense, the Command & Conquer series, and so many others).

To summarize the games I have played, it is best to just say ‘Yes.’ Graphical issues rarely bother me, but I love when a recent game renders a beautiful and creative world (Alice: Madness Returns). Of course, a deep and involved story is just as much a selling point (Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3, Odin Sphere, and Mass Effect). Sometimes, though, all that matters to me is the gameplay (Any Dynasty Warriors game or Castlevania: Harmony of Despair).

Outside of the realm of video gaming, I enjoy the occasional book or trip to the movies, and have been known to watch some anime (Try Baccano! and Durarara!!). Also, I build Gundam model kits, but sort of suck at it. Beyond that, there is not a whole lot to tell, so it is here that I will once again say ‘Hello’ and that I look forward to a more interesting future.

Lusipurr.com

Hello Lusipurr.com readers! It is I, Pierson ‘Blitzmage’ Stone, and I’m the newest staff member to join this hellish website where I will be working in the News department under one madam Biggs. You probably know me from site comments, Twitter, Facebook, or Haturdays (TF2)! I have been following the site since about a week or two after it started–fun little fact; the site and myself share the same birthday, although I am much older than the site. Now with that put to rest let me get started on my history with video games and my life so far.

I was raised in a medium-sized town in the super-small state of Maryland; I was schooled in Maryland and will be going to college in California. This coming autumn I will be studying at the New York Film Academy (NYFA) and I will be going for the BFA in Film Making degree. I hope one day to be a film director.

Onto my history with video games! It all started when my mother purchased me a Nintendo Gameboy Color with Pokemon Red. This was what first got me into role-playing games and video games in general. From there I received a Nintendo 64 with Pokemon Stadium and Paper Mario. So early on in my video game life I was more drawn to the Nintendo first party games such as Pokemon Stadium 2 and The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask. After I was done with the N64 I was a good little Nintendo fanboy and got the Nintendo GameCube! During this generation I started playing a lot of “childish” actions games and quickly realized that this was not the genre that I liked. After many years of searching for RPGs on the GameCube I received a PlayStation 2! This period of my video game life is when I consider myself really becoming a true ‘hardcore’ gamer. When I received my PS2 it was quite late in its life cycle so I had many games to go back to and play. These games included Final Fantasy X-XII, Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2, Metal Gear Solid 2-3, Persona 3: FES, and Resident Evil 4, to name a few.

As I said before I started with the Gameboy Color (GBC) and Pokemon Red. Continuing from there I obtained the two other Pokemon games, Blue and Yellow. During this time I obtained many games but very few are worth mentionng; they were movie licensed games and the like. After this I remained a good Nintendo fanboy and obtained every version of every handheld that Nintendo has released. Although I don’t have a 3DS yet I am waiting for the price drop on 12th August. The only time I have not been a good Nintendo fanboy was when I obtained my Darth Vader PSP-2000 and the PSPgo, which I love to death! The two PSPs have opened up so much more of the gaming world, especially the gaming world as it was before I really came into my own with games. When I obtained my PSPs I finally got to play Final Fantasy VII-IX, Metal Gear Solid, Suikoden, Parasite Eve, and, most recently, Xenogears, which I am still slowly working through.

Now for more present day matters! Like I said before, I currently own a DSi, PSP-2000, and PSPgo. I also own a Wii and a PlayStation 3. On these consoles I like to play mostly RPGs, adventure games, and, quite rarely, a FPS (first-person shooter). Of these genres, my favorite games are Fallout 3 or New Vegas, any Legend of Zelda game and, of course, my favorite FPS is Team Fortress 2, which I love to play with the readers and staff members at Lusipurr.com. Lastly I would like to give a big thank you to Lusipurr and his great staff who, for the past two years, have been running an amazing website. I am quite glad to be joining their mighty ranks! I hope you all enjoy my news bulletins, which will be on Thursdays! If you have any questions you want to ask me I implore you to comment or contact me using my staff bio page. This is Blitzmage saying, ‘Thursdays get PIERCED, SON!’

Lusipurr.com

Greetings readers, listeners, and fans of Lusipurr.com.

As some of you are by now aware, this past weekend has been extremely difficult for me. Because of the unique–some might say peculiar–way in which Lusipurr.com is administrated, my personal issues can overflow into the site. After all, it is called Lusipurr.com, and I am Lusipurr. Some have said these things are to be expected, perhaps others think the opposite. Whatever your position, I should like to address the situation briefly.

On Tuesday of last week, my girlfriend of a year and a half, Heather, left me. At a stroke, I lost both the woman I loved and my best friend. Under ordinary circumstances, this would have been a crushing event. However, it was combined with the due date of my Master’s thesis falling on Saturday of last week, and a mountain of site business needing to be done: hiring, developing documentation, and day-to-day affairs. The result is overwhelming, to say the least. And I am, in real life, somewhat romantically-minded and easily overwhelmed. So, these events have been exceedingly difficult for me to cope with and I must confess that I have not yet begun to work out how I will proceed.

But I do not wish to speak of the particulars overmuch. Suffice to say that Heather’s decision, whilst obviously not something I agree with, is within her rights to make. My thesis is an expected requirement of my graduate program–not a surprise dropped on me from above, and I am happy to report that the second draft was completed, and with reasonable success, on time. The site business is being addressed with the help of my staff–a group of people whose dedication and loyalty cannot be gainsaid, whose unswerving devotion to the site mainfests itself in an eagerness to take on duties above and beyond those they are assigned, and whose understanding and compassion goes far beyond that which can be expected of any volunteer, or any paid employee. They have sat up with me at night; played games with me all day; and listened to me blandly read sentences from my thesis, all in an effort to provide the thing I need most now: a comprehensive distraction in the form of personal contact, and a reminder that whatever my immediate situation, I am not as alone as I feel.

Yet that is not the reason for this statement; you, the readers, have similarly extended your well-wishes. I have received your e-mails and tweets of support telling me how much Lusipurr.com means to you; I have read your stories about how you first started listening; I have been astonished by the immediate response to the tweets I have made in the deepest recesses of despair, and I have been grateful–more than grateful–for your words of support and encouragement.

That is why I wish to make this statement today. I have always endeavoured to make Lusipurr.com something more personal than a mere industry news website. My goal has been to create a place where the readers and staff come together as something more than the “public” and the “journalists”; creating instead a place where the readers know the writers (or ARE the writers, as the running gag goes). This week, your words of encouragement have shown me that I have succeeded at that, and I believe it is the best things I have ever done.

I wish I could find better words to show my appreciation, my gratitude, and my thanks. But, language is a funny thing, and even after attempts to gain a documented mastery of it, I now find myself falling back on these simple words: Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Lusipurr.com wouldn’t be the same without you, and neither would I.

Lusipurr.com

Greetings, fellow gamers! It is I, Durga Syn. I find it highly unlikely that any of you are familiar with who I am. I am relatively new to this site and as such am something of an enigma, but hey, that is what introductions are for! So now I shall begin a brief journey back into the life that is Durga.

As a child raised in a small country town in Eastern Oregon, there were not a lot of options for entertainment. The options around a place like my home town come down to either getting to know the livestock on a very personal level, taking up sports or playing video games. As I have neither a knack for throwing and kicking balls nor any kind of attraction to livestock, I was drawn into the oh so shiny world of Super Mario Brothers and Metroid.

Within no time at all I was scrounging up any money I could find to purchase the latest and greatest in gaming technology. I spent more time with Sonic and Link then I did with most of my family members! I can still remember my first introduction to some of my closest friends being me showing off my Mega Man X skills. Video games were how I related to a world around me that I barely felt a part of. It was not until I played Chrono Trigger that I had my first true glimpse of the future my life with gaming was headed down.

I devoured my first RPG, devoting night after night directly after school to unlocking Techs and finding hidden treasure while advancing through layer after layer of story. I was now completely and truly hooked into the world of gaming. They had my number from the start, and they have been keeping me enthralled ever since.

It was also about this time that I saw Akira for the first time and a new obsession was born. I am an avid anime fan as well as being into video games. Neither is a cheap hobby, but both are so fulfilling. of all of the things I have on my computer at any given time, anime is the majority with games coming in at a close second.

During the release of the PlayStation and the Nintendo 64 I spent much time lost in new RPGs and of course more time with my best friend Link. So many hours did I log into Final Fantasy VII-IX, as well as Mega Man Legends and so many other titles. I also devoted quite a few hours to Mario 64 and Banjo-Kazooie to keep the gods of platforming satisfied. After this point in time the XBox came into existence and my life became devoted to Halo lan parties for quite a while. I try to keep a balance of RPG, shooter and action/platformer to make sure I am never bored.

While Anime and Games are two of my main hobbies, they are not the only things that I enjoy doing. I also am an avid reader of science fiction and fantasy novels, I play the Warmachine/Hordes miniatures game when time allows for it and I also to a bit of the paper RPG gaming. From Star Wars to Dungeons and Dragons and everything in between, sometimes it is just more fun to sit around a table with some good friends and let the dice roll.

Alright I think I have bored you guys enough with talk about me. I am happy to be the newest member of the site and look forward to spending time getting to know you all! I hope you enjoyed learning a little more about me. Feel free to ask anything more you would like to know! Until next time ‘Gents and Dames, this is Durga signing off!

Lusipurr.com

Hello, greetings, and whatever other introductions you feel are necessary! I may know some of you already, many of you have probably never heard of me, and I am sure a handful of you could care less who I am. For those who already know me, yes, Enrei does have a real, legal, and unchanging name! For those of you who have no idea who I am, hold your questions for later, and just know now that I, the guy in that little picture in the upper right hand corner, will be joining the review staff; consider yourself lucky, not many people get a free ticket to hear me talk about games! Really!

I have been playing games since the day I could pick up my father’s bulky GameGear. I do not remember beating the games he owned, but I easily remember the hours I spent with the neighborhood kids crowded around me watching to see if I could reach a new level in my newest Sonic the Hedgehog game. After a few years of Sonic and Mario, and even fewer years in school, I moved on to the PlayStation and Game Boy. With my new found ability to read, I started enjoying games set in fantastic worlds, with stories and goals I could never have imagined in my days of running, jumping, and coin collecting. A major facet of my early reading based gaming was a little game series called Pokemon, and we all know how that series ended up.

Some of my favorite games from that era were Mega Man Legends, Guardian’s Crusade, Chocobo’s Dungeon, and Klonoa. While the gameplay was hardly unique, each game’s aesthetics and story really impressed me when I was younger, and had an impact on my preferences over all these years. With the exception of the side-scrolling platformer, Klonoa, these games served as my starting point for their respective genres and series. The Mega Man series as a whole caused me to want harder and harder games to play, even if it meant I may never beat them. By this time, both Mega Man and Final Fantasy had a pretty large series library, which gave me plenty of old games to hunt down and try while the rest of the average gaming world was moving onward to their fancy graphics and FPS games.

The amount of attention I could devote to one game’s story really began to dwindle in the GameCube era, where it seemed like every RPG was being released two discs at a time, with hours upon hours of story. I did suffer through a few titles like that, but I spent a majority of my GameCube days exploring the world of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, creating a new character in Phantasy Star Online, or beginning a new year in Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles. I started to want a very free, hands-off, sort of system in every game I played, I could care less if I saved that thing from the evil guy, I just wanted to see what was on the other side of that mountain, or what treasure might lie in that ruined keep.

Now, though, I would like to think I keep a good balance between my long attention draining games and my exploration crazy adventures. That is not to say that I have an easy time playing long games for hours on end, rather, if I am gaming anywhere near my computer I feel compelled to constantly flip through all my social platforms, which does lead to my play time increasing, even if I hardly make it out of one battle.

You can look forward to my first real article soon, hopefully I can avoid stepping on any toes with my reviews! Feel free to add me on whichever social thing floats your boat, too!

Lusipurr.com

Hello, fellow Lusi-sprites! After being a reader of the site for more than a year now, I have been given a role on staff as Graphic Artist and general British Person – with the loss of SiliconNoob, it is important to at least seem as though the equal opportunities policy is in effect, and if you can get someone who is British, Half-African and a girl, then I guess that saves time and effort. EFFICIENCY!

My history of gaming is somewhat limited – I grew up a Nintendo fangirl, working my way through the Gameboys and the DSes. My first console was the original Playstation, for which we had the classic fighting games, such as Tekken 2 and SoulBlade, but it wasn’t until we got a PS2 and a copy of Final Fantasy X mysteriously appeared in my home that I really got into the world of RPGs, and that’s where my real standing as a gamer began. Nowadays, the only way I’ll play a game is if it has a good story, which is why I can pour hours into something like Phoenix Wright, but get bored quickly with more monotonous games, like COD. (Let the fan-war commence.) My current-gen consoles purely consist of the DS and my beloved PS3 (and until something groundbreaking is released, it’s going to stay that way), and my favourite gaming franchise of all time is, and always will be Pokemon. I’m a bit of a previous-gen girl, so I stand by my GBA. Best Gaming Device Ever.

Feel free to contact me about artwork and graphics for anything, through the site or my Deviant. Thanks!

…

What? You want to know more? I suppose that is fair, considering my recent employment as an Editorialist/Game Reviewer on this very site. To start, I have been reading the site since my friend and fellow columnist Deimosion referred it to me way back when I had met him at the college we had been attending together. When it was recently posted that Lane was going to leave the site’s roster, I decided to put in my bid for a position despite the massive Texan boots I knew I would have to fill. Lo and behold, here I am, delivering unto you this introduction.

I also suppose that since Lusipurr.com is a gaming site, it could not hurt to also give some background information on my gaming history. My first memories of video gaming originated from my early childhood, watching my father play titles such as Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!, Ice Hockey and Metroid on our Nintendo Entertainment System, which I still own to this day. It was in these formative years that the hobby took a firm grasp on me, resulting in a devout appreciation for games such as Solar Jetman, River City Ransom, and the Super Mario Bros. series.

Time has marched forward since then, and as such my family acquired newer systems at the best of me and my siblings. I fondly remember wasting countless hours on the Nintendo 64 system: defeating Gruntilda in the Banjo-Kazooie and gathering the 120 stars of Super Mario 64 were my best memories of that console generation, not to mention facing off against other kids in my neighborhood in rounds of Super Smash Bros. and GoldenEye 007. But then, all good things must come to an end… in this case, my days of N64 gaming came to an end when I had decided to sell off the system and its games to fund the purchase of brand-new Nintendo GameCube. While not quite as memorable, my GCN nonetheless had a solid roster of games, among which Sonic Adventure 2: Battle and Viewtiful Joe were my favorites.

Nowadays, I consider myself a more casual gamer than my youth. I play my Xbox 360 when I can, peruse Valve’s selection on Steam, and participate in various table-top games whenever life allows me too. But rest assured, I have plenty to say on the hobby and industry nowadays, which I shall be discussing on Saturdays at Lusipurr.com.

Stay frosty!

–Shawn ‘Emmori’ Illingworth

Unfortunately for everyone, this will be my last column here at Lusipurr.com. Recently, I have experienced a sharp uptick in demands on my time, and fear that I must significantly reduce my Internet presence. As such, one will not find me at any of my usual haunts. Even my video gaming time will be limited by my other pursuits, including my martial arts training and my love of fiction writing.

For those who absolutely cannot live without a weekly dose of verbose pomposity, well, I am afraid I can provide no succor. Go read Brian Crecente and pretend that he is me, or better yet, read Kevin Drum at Mother Jones. Or check various online and print publications dedicated to short speculative fiction, such as Analog, Beneath Ceaseless Skies, or Strange Horizons. Hopefully, I will be seen there in all my prolix glory.

And if not, then watch the stars for me.

In the comments below discuss how much you will miss me when I am gone.  Talk about how amazing I am and your favorite memories of me.  I expect a billion comments to this post.

Also, if you have boobs and are over 18, post ’em.  Only nice ones, please.