* Adrianna Sykes has requested your contact details.

Adrianna Sykes: well hello there. u busy?

Lusipurr: No more than usual.

Adrianna Sykes: i got ure name from the member directory here on skype cuz i was bored and lookin for new people to talk to. lol
Adrianna Sykes: 25/f here u?

Lusipurr: Oh wow! That is quite old-school. Age/sex and all that. Not since the 90s!
Lusipurr: 34/m. And married.

Adrianna Sykes: well whatcha doin?

Lusipurr: Shouting at my staff members as a means of simultaneously motivating and oppressing them.

[Moments earlier, in the Staff Chat:
Lusipurr: POOP IN!
Lusipurr: POOP OUT!]

Adrianna Sykes: i just started summer break from school, i’m still in college right now so i’ve been really looking forward to this ya know

Lusipurr: I would say that is typical of students.

Adrianna Sykes: lol, well i have an idea if ure up for a lil fun

Lusipurr: I have an allergy to fun as a general rule, but feel free to go ahead.

Adrianna Sykes: i was actually gonna get to “work” here shortly. a friend of mine was working online and i kept askin her about it so she showed me what she was doing when we got back to school after spring break
Adrianna Sykes: Lol i thought she was out of her mind at first, but its pretty cool actually. we work online doing private webcam shows which sounded nutty at first trust me. but i freakin luv it!!!

Lusipurr: Ah, the last train station on the aesthetically bankrupt line, at which point the commuters no longer even realise that they are the ones stoking the engines that carry them over the edge and into the abyss.

Adrianna Sykes: well what i was going to say is i have some free passes and i usually just do a private show before i get started to “warm up” lol. no one is online though so i was going to let u use one of the passes if u wanted but u have to give me a really good rating so i can get more if u do tho k?

Lusipurr: Oh, I don’t need any free passes for *that*. You see, I could just order my staff members to take off their clothes, if I so desired.

Adrianna Sykes: dont u worry tho… ill earn it lol. k its [link redacted] and u should see a lil button to accept my invite and create your profile. u just click on that.
Adrianna Sykes: then you just make ure own username or w/e and u can cum into my private chat for us two and type to me and tell me what you want me to do

Lusipurr: Do you have an uncomfortable orange chair and a copy of Final Fantasy VIII?

Adrianna Sykes: yeah u are going to need a credit card of some kind… but, its just to verify your age
Adrianna Sykes: u should feel special i dont usually give out this one!! lolll im such a goofball sumtimes

Lusipurr: No, I’m afraid I am not interested unless you can confirm that presence of at least one uncomfortable orange plastic chair and a physical copy of Final Fantasy VIII.

Adrianna Sykes: i really can’t wait too it’s goin to be so much fun. i love meeting new ppl on here, oh by the way… might wanna turn down ure speakers cuz i can get a lil loud once i get going

Lusipurr: The battle music isn’t particularly good, so I don’t know why would you want to have it up so loud.

Adrianna Sykes: i’m about to go grab some of my favorite “toys” i’ll brb. hurry up though i better see ure name in my room when i get back lol

Lusipurr: I’m pretty sure it just requires a single standard PS2 Dual Shock.
Lusipurr: You know I get the sense that we’re just not going to hit it off. We’re too different, you and me. You’re very passionate, outgoing— eager-to-please, even. And me? Well, I’m devoid of sentimentality, bereft of joy, hateful and misanthropic. Not merely uneager to please, I actually advocate the eradication of all happiness, contentment, and human life itself. I just don’t think it’ll work out.

Also, your gyrating body would totally clash with the decor in my underground lair.

So, good-bye. And, when I take over the world, mention this conversation to one of my Secret Police for a courtesy ‘Pain-Free Dispatch’. Until then!

* Adrianna Sykes has been deleted from your contacts.

This week’s panel
Ethos
Bup
Blitzmage
Imitanis
Mel
Iliya
Sabin
Paws
Lusipurr

Donators
Cumulative total record holder: Imitanis
Single Donation record holder: Brettsuo

Donators eligible for drawing:
Dancing Matt
DiceAdmiral
Absurdist Kobold
Drachonous
Brettsuo
Savante
Billy B.
Les E.
Martin B.
DefChaos

Horse Boots
So Sabin is sitting in Bup’s chair this week?

Ed Sullivan Feb 9th 1964

Burgertime in Bedrock

Is Iliya actually a Voice Actor?
I’d believe it.

Feature: Select-a-Misery

Shovel Knight: Cheat Codes

Fox News Bioshock Emblem

The Cricket scores to music may be my favorite segment ever on this podcast. Bravo.

Cricket cussin’ in OZ ESPN

Rob Pardo Leaves ActiBlizzard

Hearthstone Sexism

Imitanis Literature Corner
None this week.

Brettsuo gaming moment
I’ve been playing Shattered Planet on Android after the review that I read on this very site. It’s been pretty fun. There’s not much to add aside from what was said in the review. Go read that!

Congrats to Bup for handling this insanity with more composure than we thought possible.