News: Accidentally the Everything

2010.07.10
Tonberry Stabs Yuffie

For all those who had their money stolen: DOINK!

I Accidentally the iTunes

What is the laziest way to make money that’s taking the world by storm? Make an app. With the phrase “there’s an app for that” running rampant, developers ranging from well-known businesses to lonely nerds in their basement know that where there’s an app for that, there is money for it too. The problem with this is, as with any product, competition. So what is a lonely basement nerd to do when no one downloads their app? Hack people’s iTunes accounts of course! A Vietnamese developer did just that this week, stealing anywhere from $100 to $1,400 on various accounts by using them to download his apps. His hacked purchasing spree sent his illegal manga apps to claim the top forty-two spots on the list of top fifty books downloaded in the U.S., raising eyebrows and eventually leading to him being caught. Apple, as expected, takes no responsibility for this, instead suggesting that all hacked users cancel their credit cards and work through the creditors to get a refund for their stolen money.

Melona (Queen's Blade)

Her acid-spitting breasts are so awesome that even her hair has to cop a feel.

I Accidentally the Tits

Any video game fan knows one thing is true of all female characters: women are more functional on the battlefield as our breasts get bigger and the clothing covering them gets smaller and/or tighter. This week, Sony got a bit confused on this point, both condoning and condemning it. First up, the Guinness World Records has awarded the title of Best PS3 strategy RPG upon Valkyria Chronicles and, presumably, Selvaria’s sweet melons. This decision was based upon its Metacritic and GameRankings ratings, as well as a claim of Game of the Year and Strategy Game of the Year, though it does not say who gave it those two honors. But as they applauded the great SEGA game, they also removed an episode of the titular (literally) anime Queen’s Blade. For those who have never watched it, the series follows one simple rule: attacks do not result in bleeding wounds, just exposed breasts. Because of the explicit nature, the free episode was only on PSN for a short time before it was quickly removed, acid-spitting nipples and all.

Hair Trolling

Right up there with coolface.jpg.

Trolls Trolling Trolls

So you want to log in to World of Warcraft and play a fun game of PvP the noobs. You must be Ginia Herrell! Now, the entire world will know that you are Ginia Herrell, douchebitch extraordinaire! Except you and the rest of the internet bitched, so now you can troll anonymously til the end of time. In the span of a week, one of the biggest stories to come out of Blizzard was announced and almost immediately retracted. In principle, the RealID system proposed by Blizzard was to remove the mask of anonymity that encourages otherwise ordinary people to act like fucktards on the internet, revealing the user’s actual first and last name on the Battle.net forums. The effects were set to occur before the end of the month before the launch of the StarCraft II community site, but in the three days following the announcement on Tuesday, the internet went berserk. Thus, on Friday, Blizzard stated that they have taken the overwhelmingly negative response into account and have decided not to implement the system “at this time.” So for the time being, continue trolling, Ms. Herrell, continue trolling.