Editorial: The Worst Game I Have Ever Played

The other day I decided to try out Ju-On: The Grudge- Haunted House Simulator. This is probably the worst mistake I have ever made (followed a close second by my ill-fated meeting with Lusipurr).  There is absolutely nothing good about this game.  The graphics are horrible (especially for a Wii title), the controls are like controlling a tank with a flashlight attached, and the “scares” are like something out of a Z-grade horror movie.  I WAS going to review the game, but it is so horrible the game doesn’t deserve a review.  Just stay as far away from it as possible.  The game did get me pondering while I was playing: is this the worst game I have ever played?  After playing a few more minutes I fully realized that the answer to this question is “yes.”  There is not a single game I can think of that is worse than this game.  So, my question to you, my dearest of doves, what is the worst game you have ever played?  Fable and The Sims are not valid options, as I know Lusipurr will jump at the chance to post both.

16 Responses to “Editorial: The Worst Game I Have Ever Played”

  1. Lusipurr Says:

    Fable! The Sims! Flower!

  2. Bup Says:

    Shawn, just try this game and then decide.

  3. Blitzmage Says:

    Lunar Dragon Song for the DS ugh WORST RPG EVER STAY THE FUCK AWAY!!!!

  4. Ginia Says:

    The worst game I ever plated was free, so I shouldn’t bitch too much. The game is Nanosaur, and it involves dinosaurs with laser guns. It’s pants-on-head retarded.

  5. kenjujuu Says:

    The Sims is the Best Game Ever! And as for the worst…Disney Interactive games are always a good bet…or maybe Hamsterz for the DS. This is what happens when little sisters need help playing the simplest of games.

  6. Ethos Says:

    The Bouncer. No question.

  7. Lusipurr Says:

    I’m astonished that the good people of XSeed ported such a stinker. But no, I believe you–I don’t need to play this little fetid turd when the condemnations are universal and resounding.

    Seriously, I have played some *awful* games in my lifetime–things far, far worse than this. In fact, things far, far worse than Deadly Towers even. You have to remember that I started gaming on a Pong Console (which I still have laying around somewhere), and have owned just about every console in between at one point or another.

    E. T. The Extra-Terrestrial for the Atari 2600 was thoroughly awful, but there were so many awful games for that system that focusing on that example seems a little unfair.

    Ghosts ‘n’ Goblins on the NES was frightful and near-impossible if only because the controls were so unresponsive and the difficulty so unforgiving that most people never progressed beyond the second stage.

    SaGa Fronter 2 was absolute garbage, but at least one could say it was reasonably well put-together. And then of course we have later examples like The Sims, Fable, and Flower–all of which fall down for one reason or another.

    If anything, at least the major companies are not producing the complete shit that they were once upon a time. Now, that crap is limited to minor producers who make things like Hamsterz and the Mary Kate & Ashley games.

    This is worth thinking about when one considers that Capcom made Ghosts ‘n’ Goblins, for example.

  8. darthgibblet Says:

    The fact that there’s no “Mary Kate and Ashley: Slumber Party Orgy” disappoints me to no end. Why do they keep ignoring me letters?!?!?!

    Thankfully, I got into gaming pretty late (PS2-generation) and as such have avoided most of the truly epic stinkers out there. The worst games I’ve played could really only be described as “mediocre at best” and mostly consist of JRPGs that still sit on my shelf, unfinished.

  9. DanChiSao Says:

    I have to agree with BlitzMage, Lunar Dragon song was absolutely wretched. I recently picked it as the worst game of the last decade, but my buddy Greg insists that Obscure: The Aftermath for Wii takes the cake. He actually hated the game so much, it resulted in him refusing to review it, just like Bup did here.

  10. Oyashiro Says:

    Lusipurr’s Fountain of Perpetual Disappointment.

  11. epyon01 Says:

    WiiFit, WiiFit Plus and the upcoming WiiFit Plus+

  12. darthgibblet Says:

    The ++WiiFit is so much more efficient

    /programming humor

  13. SiliconNooB Says:

    The worst game I’ve ever played is MGS4, it’s crammed to bursting with 30-40 minute cut-scenes, which would be ok if the story was at least somewhat good, but it’s a turgid mess …

    @Lusipurr- What was the turd that Xseed published that you mention?

  14. darthgibblet Says:

    Oh, and @Oyashiro: You have no idea how much disappointment you’re in for.

  15. breaka666 Says:

    in all seriousness, final fantasy viii. I really can’t think of a game I had less fun with.

  16. Ethos Says:

    @Oyashiro – Amen

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