When Final Fantasy XV fails, Tabata disseminates fake news and creates an internet survey about Squeenix’s game development. Lusipurr, SiliconNooB, and Adeki duly complete the survey, only to discover what they knew all along: Adeki is a Hufflepuff.
Hajime Tabata chokes to death on a Cuck Noodle before shitting himself in the news of the week!
Captain Cook resigns as Final Fantasy XV founders and the launch of the Switch looms, causing SiliconNooB and Lusipurr to wonder whether the fortunes of English Cricket and the Japanese video game industry are intertwined as magically as the Switch dock.
Square Enix lies about Final Fantasy XV profitability, Resident Evil VII performs decently but shows signs of decline, and Steam dumps Greenlight in the news of the week!
With Lusipurr distracted by Dragon Quest VIII and a plate full of blueberry pancakes, Adeki, Imitanis, and SiliconNooB break into the company larder and make off with the Presidential Mutton Supply, resultling in a building-wide lockdown and mutton-hunt.
Sebahamut makes his debut with Lords of the Realm II; Reetin plays Rogue Legacy, Choice Chamber, and the closed beta of For Honor; Lusipurr endures the torment of Final Fantasy X-2’s opening scenes; and Adeki fails miserably at Mega Man 2 on easy mode.
With the dawning of a frosty (or scalding, if Australian) new year, the staff’s resolution to focus on positivity and optimism is sorely tested by a string of abhorrent scandals, running the gamut from crowdfunded deception to underage solicitation.
It is the new year in Australia when Lusipurr, SiliconNooB, Adeki, and Sebastian reflect upon the worst of 2016. Attempting to foster a sense of optimism for the year 2017, the panelists’ efforts begin well, but quickly go awry thanks to Nintendo.
Final Fantasy XV is treated as an afterthought among Japanese developers, Double Dragon IV is announced for a January release, and a former Ubisoft developer weighs in on Nintendo Switch in the news of the week!
With the death of Henry Heimlich, inventor of the life-saving manoeuvre after which–in a bizarre temporal inversion–he was named, Lusipurr, SiliconNooB, Adeki, and Sebastian report on the ways in which Nintendo, Square Enix, and Ubisoft have all choked.