In a syrupy haze, Lusipurr, Adeki, and SiliconNooB wrap up Gamescom 2017 and switch tack from Moby Dick to King Arthur as they prepare for next week’s unveiling of Lusipurr’s magnum opus.
EA accuses gamers of being mean to Mass Effect Andromeda, Final Fantasy XV is set to become even worse, and Cliffy B’s new game is a colossal flop in the news of the week!
Dragon Quest XI actually sold more copies on PS4, Western JRPG fans now prefer Dragon Quest to Final Fantasy, and Valkyrie Drive: Bhikkhuni has been pulled from sale in Australia and Germany in the News of the week!
Ninja Theory lies to customers, Nintendo gets sued, and Square Enix is subject to an art exodus in the news of the week!
Nintendo apologises to crybullies, many new Persona spin-offs have been announced, Dragon Quest XI gets off to some very strong sales, and Dragon Quest I – III get a PS4 release in the news of the week!
Nintendonly acolytes rejoice at the release of the Switch voice app, Nomura explains his love for belts and zippers, and Mega Man takes Hollywood in the news of the week!
All future Square Enix games will be service based, Square Enix is having trouble recruiting for the Final Fantasy VII Rebreak, and Capcom’s future Switch support is contingent upon the success of Ultra Street Fighter II in the news of the week!
Mass Effect: Andromeda has scuppered Bioware Montreal, Square Enix enjoys mega-profits on the back of the worst JRPG ever made, and Hitman (2016) has scuttled IO Interactive in the news of the week!
Square Enix finally invents Stable Mode: perfect for when video game horses are not getting sufficient quantities of oats and lack routine brushings and washings–or when one needs a burly groom to saddle up an alternative means of petrol-free transport!
After a famous Australian victory over India in the Cricket, Lusipurr, Adeki, SiliconNooB, and Imitanis investigate whether or not Adeki is actually a Hufflepuff. Meanwhile, the Nintendo Switch’s launch software continues to boil away into the aether.