Nintendonly acolytes rejoice at the release of the Switch voice app, Nomura explains his love for belts and zippers, and Mega Man takes Hollywood in the news of the week!
All future Square Enix games will be service based, Square Enix is having trouble recruiting for the Final Fantasy VII Rebreak, and Capcom’s future Switch support is contingent upon the success of Ultra Street Fighter II in the news of the week!
Mass Effect: Andromeda has scuppered Bioware Montreal, Square Enix enjoys mega-profits on the back of the worst JRPG ever made, and Hitman (2016) has scuttled IO Interactive in the news of the week!
Square Enix finally invents Stable Mode: perfect for when video game horses are not getting sufficient quantities of oats and lack routine brushings and washings–or when one needs a burly groom to saddle up an alternative means of petrol-free transport!
After a famous Australian victory over India in the Cricket, Lusipurr, Adeki, SiliconNooB, and Imitanis investigate whether or not Adeki is actually a Hufflepuff. Meanwhile, the Nintendo Switch’s launch software continues to boil away into the aether.
When Final Fantasy XV fails, Tabata disseminates fake news and creates an internet survey about Squeenix’s game development. Lusipurr, SiliconNooB, and Adeki duly complete the survey, only to discover what they knew all along: Adeki is a Hufflepuff.
Hajime Tabata chokes to death on a Cuck Noodle before shitting himself in the news of the week!
Captain Cook resigns as Final Fantasy XV founders and the launch of the Switch looms, causing SiliconNooB and Lusipurr to wonder whether the fortunes of English Cricket and the Japanese video game industry are intertwined as magically as the Switch dock.
Square Enix lies about Final Fantasy XV profitability, Resident Evil VII performs decently but shows signs of decline, and Steam dumps Greenlight in the news of the week!
It is the new year in Australia when Lusipurr, SiliconNooB, Adeki, and Sebastian reflect upon the worst of 2016. Attempting to foster a sense of optimism for the year 2017, the panelists’ efforts begin well, but quickly go awry thanks to Nintendo.