Capcom announces Street Fighter V: Arcade Edition, Tabata announces that he would like to ruin Final Fantasy VII-2, and Sony has redesigned PSVR in the news of the week!
Square Enix cometh hot from hell, bearing gloom and doom and tidings fell, and Lusipurr is not at all well with a poem about a bell, bell, bell, bell, bell, bell, bell, with lengthy rhyming poem about a bell.
All future Square Enix games will be service based, Square Enix is having trouble recruiting for the Final Fantasy VII Rebreak, and Capcom’s future Switch support is contingent upon the success of Ultra Street Fighter II in the news of the week!
Square Enix have not committed to further remakes, an animal welfare crisis is currently afflicting Second Life, and Destiny 2 is giving Switch a miss in the news of the week!
When Final Fantasy XV fails, Tabata disseminates fake news and creates an internet survey about Squeenix’s game development. Lusipurr, SiliconNooB, and Adeki duly complete the survey, only to discover what they knew all along: Adeki is a Hufflepuff.
Nomura continues to botch Final Fantasy VII, a World of Final Fantasy demo will release this week, and more bad news for Nintendo’s NX in the news of the week!
As Lancelot carries Arthur’s fight against Fort Mayne to every corner of Old England, Lusipurr and SiliconNooB wish that they had access to the Gramarye of those legendary days.
Nintendo’s Alison Rapp turns out to be an alleged prostitute, Hironobu Sackaguchi calls Kitase a bad producer, I Am Setsuna bucks tradition by utilising an ATB in [CURRENT YEAR], and Ghost in the Shell will be shitty with or without Scarlett Johansson.
Lusipurr and SiliconNooB consider Nintendo’s changing audience demographics and unchanging business attitude, the decision to make Final Fantasy XV the first car-boot-based JRPG in history, and the shocking arrogance of the Final Fantasy VII Remake devs.
Final Fantasy VII Remake will be shit, Final Fantasy XV is being designed by morons, SJWs are making classic games retroactively worse, and Berserk returns to TV screens this July in the news of the week!