Having forgotten fans like Lusipurr and SiliconNooB, Square Enix is overcome by fear: will Persona 5 harm sales of Final Fantasy XV? Will people turn from the gilded baubles of CGI and hold-square-to-win gameplay? ‘Twould be a merry Christmas, indeed!
When Konami headquarters bursts into flames, Lusipurr and SiliconNooB hurry to the scene of the conflagration, where they speculate as to the cause of the blaze, crack jokes, report on Square Enix’s manifold prevarications, and read a book about knights.
Lusipurr and SiliconNooB know what matters to the readers: reviews of bathrobes. Lusipurr previews an upcoming contest and SiliconNooB brings news on the latest re-re-release of Pikmin, before both panelists despair about the lack of quality 3D Mario.
Lusipurr.com is pleased to present Dear Friends: A Final Fantasy V Playthrough!
When SiliconNooB drinks too much Australian Water, he finds himself unable to rise from bed. Heartened by an English test victory, Lusipurr assists his soaked co-host, and Bup joins them with a novel plan to help solve all of Nintendo’s many problems.
When Lusipurr declares war, the site’s giant robots are reactivated and the trench-digging commences. But even exciting Cricket and increased Zestria production are not enough to forestall gloomy news from the Nintendo, Konami, and Square Enix fronts.
Everything is coming up Zestria when SiliconNooB, Bup, and Lusipurr discuss new Lusipurr.com merchandising (including a Schadenfreude Clock, now on sale) and a greater focus on charitable giving (Zestria in very large quantities, shipped by freight).
Lusipurr, Ethos, and SiliconNooB scrape the bottom of the barrel to find news worth reporting. As the end-of-year playthrough approaches, the panelists appeal to readers to comment and spread the word about the site. Step up and tell your friends today!
The brilliant metaphysico-theologico-cosmolo-nigologist Lusipurr delivers himself of a lecture on Leibnizian Optimism to his receptive (if beery, and perennially inebriate) pupil, SiliconNooB, demonstrating that this is the best of all possible podcasts.
Akihiko Yoshida leaves Square Enix, PS3 owners like their porn, and poor COD sales causes Activision to offer up some weak excuses in the news of the week!