Nintendo’s Alison Rapp turns out to be an alleged prostitute, Hironobu Sackaguchi calls Kitase a bad producer, I Am Setsuna bucks tradition by utilising an ATB in [CURRENT YEAR], and Ghost in the Shell will be shitty with or without Scarlett Johansson.
Final Fantasy VII Remake will be shit, Final Fantasy XV is being designed by morons, SJWs are making classic games retroactively worse, and Berserk returns to TV screens this July in the news of the week!
Alison Rapp has been fired by Nintendo for a breach of contract, Final Fantasy XV releases September 30, SJWs have caused Square Enix to censor Star Ocean V, and orphans pilot mechs in the news of the week!
The NX controller leak was a hoax, the Wii U will cease production in 2016, Square Enix is polishing up Final Fantasy XV, and Dagashi Kashi is like a fan service anime without fan service in the news of the week!
PSVR will cost $500, I Am Setsuna has been given a release window in the West, Treehouse translations are regarded as trash by Capcom at GDC, and a smackeral of Yurikuma Arashi makes for a sweet treat in the news of the week!
Lionhead Studios has been utterly vanquished through Lusipurrean machinations, Xseed gets their tits out, Final Fantasy XV’s Hajime Tabata wants to make players cry, and Luck & Logic fuses magical waifus in the news of the week!
Coleco Chameleon will have to rebrand as the Coleco Lich if it wishes to stave off demise this time around, Nintendo shows contempt for vanilla 3DS owners, Nintendo Treehouse has been wrecking JRPGs, and the Divine Gate will open in the news of the week!
Nintendo Treehouse is rocked by a child pornography scandal, The Chinese Room tells gamers to buy more walking sims, Xbone passes on an exclusive, and Production I.G. takes a detour into hard Sci-fi in the news of the week!
Treehouse makes a mess of Fire Emblem Fates, the UN pressures Japan to ban sexy girls in games and anime, Project Setsuna releases in Japan, and Durarara!!X2 is quite fun in the news of the week!
Capcom dusts off their classic franchises, Xbone cannot hang on to its exclusives, Nintendo goes Amiibo crazy with Twilight Princess, and Dimension W promises unlimited energy in the news of the week!