Editorial: Bup’s Adventures in Garry’s Mod: Part 1

Garry’s Mod Dark Role-Play is one of the most creative games I have ever played. In this game mode, the player is meant to log into a server, choose a job and role-play as that person. Typical jobs include mayor, law enforcement officers, thieves, terrorists, gun dealers, and medics. While it is fun to play the game as it is meant to be played, it is just as fun to “troll” those who take the game much too seriously. These are the stories of my time on the various servers of Garry’s Mod Dark Role-Play. The first I will document is the mystery of “The Murder Cave” and Police Officer Bup’s investigation into strange abductions.

What horrors await in this dark, dreary cave?

What horrors await in this dark, dreary cave?

It was a quiet day in the city when I got a call about what the city’s residents were calling “The Murder Cave.” Citizens reported their peers were being abducted by a strange figure on the outskirts of town and never to be heard from again. When I heard the rumors I knew it was my duty as an officer of the law to investigate these reports, and deal with the perpetrator should they be true. It was by far the worst mistake I had ever made in my thirty minute career as a police officer. Nothing could prepare me for the hell that awaited.

Peaceful, serene and DEADLY!

Peaceful, serene and DEADLY!

The air around the lake on the outskirts of town was heavy when I shut the door of my car. Almost as if you could feel the souls of those trapped in the nearby cave floating around and warning those to get away as fast as one could. There was nothing blocking the entrance to the cave and nothing indicating it was the fabled “Murder Cave” the police department had gotten reports on, but I could tell this was the right place. I slowly stepped into the dark, gloomy cave’s entrance, pulled out the pistol I bought from a gun dealer who sounded like he was five-years-old and entered.

What poor souls lay here?

What poor souls lay here?

The first horror I encountered was a spinning disco ball shining against a pool of water in the entrance of the cave. Could the poor, missing souls have simply danced too much and now have been resting further into the cave? This question was answered by a sharp scream coming from the darkness within. I turned on my flashlight that was basically just a glowing orb coming out of my hand and explored the rest of cave’s entrance. Three tunnels led out from the main room of the cavern and I thought I saw a figure in the darkness down one, but as I looked again all I saw was black. The second tunnel was blocked off by a large, metal gate and nothing but darkness on the other side. I did not even want to imagine the horrors that laid beyond. The final tunnel led to a dead end with two graves and multiple skeletal remains laid around them. Who were these poor souls I was unable to save? The Thief who I arrested while he was attempting to carjack? The Gangster who called me a “fgt” for shooting him with my taser gun while he tried to mug someone? I shook these thoughts from my mind, turned back to the main entrance and continued my investigation down the first tunnel I saw.

The horrible creature of the cave rears its ugly... skull?

The horrible creature of the cave rears its ugly… skull?

Walking down the tunnel I could feel the air get heavier and heavier. My flashlight orb hand thing pierced the ever-clinging darkness, but just barely. I felt that the tunnel went on forever until I reached the main room of the cavern, and found the creature of the cave’s lair. The horrors in this room still cling to my thoughts to this day, over a whole week later. Various human remains scattered the floor, grimy baby dolls, bloody saws and axes thrown haphazardly around the large room and in the middle: the dead body of “Cooldude69″ hung from a hook attached to the ceiling. There was no doubt his screams were the ones I heard earlier and I was too late to save him. As I turned to scan the rest of this dungeon I came face-to-face with the creature itself who inhabited this Murder Cave: a skeleton named “Luna” wielding a wood axe with two more strapped to its back. I froze for a second, just a second, but in a blinding rush this Luna creature attacked me and all I saw was red. Red and the words “You will revive in 60 seconds. If your death was by RDM, please contact an admin.” Oh, and I also heard the beeps of a heartbeat monitor going flat. When I revived I was back in the safety of the main city by the police headquarters, but I knew in my heart I could not go through that situation again. I resigned from the police force, took a job as a thief and was promptly killed while attempting to raid the base of “XTREMEGAMERFTW.”

4 Comments

  1. Lusipurr
    Posted 2014.02.18 at 12:48 | Permalink

    Police Officer Bup sounds LARGELY INEFFECTUAL.

  2. Andrew 'Mel' Melcon
    Posted 2014.02.18 at 21:35 | Permalink

    Not enough pictures.

  3. Lusipurr
    Posted 2014.02.19 at 03:53 | Permalink

    I agree. More pictures.

  4. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2014.02.23 at 15:27 | Permalink

    Needs moar trolling!