News: One Who Bares Fangs at God

Why blame aliens for ZeniMax's crap when you can blame human error?

Skyrim Glitches Bethesda

ZeniMax Falls Prey to Industrial Action

For the better part of a month rumours of Prey 2‘s demise have been floating about in the ether of game journalism scuttlebutt, so when ZeniMax, parent company to Bethesda and Id Software, announced earlier this week that the game was still in production, the fears of many an eager gamer were allayed – yet something seemed rather off about the announcement. ZeniMax stated: “Development of Prey 2 has not been cancelled but the game will not be released in 2012 as planned. The delay is due to the fact that game development has not progressed satisfactorily this past year, and the game does not currently meet our quality standards.”

The above statement has proved problematic for some, coming as it does from the company which oversaw the release of bugfests such as Rage and the Elder Scrolls series. Indeed, one is inclined to imagine that the ZeniMax QA process actually involves them putting bugs into their games in order to have them conform to the Bethesda gold standard, yet the meticulous unpolishing of Prey 2 still seemed unlikely to push the game’s release all the way back into 2013.

Well, as it turns out Human Head, the developer of Prey 2, has been on strike since November due to their intense dissatisfaction with the contract supplied by ZeniMax. According to an unnamed former Human Head employee (laid off after work on the game had ceased) the game was halted in order strengthen the developer’s bargaining position. Apparently negotiations had been going well until January of this year, after which time they proceeded to grow incrementally worse until the relationship between both parties completely broke down at the start of March. Given the way that independent developers are treated by the majority of publishers, it is not at all surprising to find such a stand-off taking place; one wonders whether similar tactics will be used more frequently going forward.

I look forward to the American Assassin's Creed, I love killing Americans!

Look at the gams on that broad!

Fool Author Attempts to Sue Assassin’s Creed, Gets Review Bombed on Amazon

John Beiswenger, the litigious author of a shabby little book named Link, has this week made a blatant grab for cash on the grounds that the Assassin’s Creed series infringes upon his book by featuring a machine which allows people to experience the past lives of their ancestors. Such a grotesque display of opportunism was always going to earn the ire of Assassin’s Creed fans, and this week they came out in their droves to review bomb the Amazon page of Link, the 2003 novel facilitating this entire fracas. As of writing, forty-one out of the book’s fifty-one customer reviews are negative one star ratings, accompanied by review text which ranges in tenor from the indignant to the sublime.

LTNetjak writes: “Published in 1981, the short story “They Died Twice” by Alan Hathaway included, among other things, a machine developed for the express purpose of delving into ancestral memories. “Link” is a clear rip-off of this now 31 year old classic tale. While this reviewer would normally ignore such things as there is no such thing as a new idea, the author’s insistence of suing a company for essentially the same thing he did in 2003 deserves a low rating.”, and who could disagree with that?

This situation is apt to leave one slightly torn, seeing as it pits the financial interests of a flagrant opportunist against those of John Beiswenger; yet one does not see why it is not possible to cheer for the prospect of equal measures of injury being visited upon both parties, without first having to pick a favourite in this debacle.

Lusipurr.com vows to never let Chris Privitere forget his blasphemy.

Don't worry guys, Origin is okay now!

Magnanimous EA Decides to Give Back the Games That They Stole From Children

Well it only took ten months, but this week EA have finally been shamed into returning the games that they have been actively stealing from the users of their obnoxious Origin service since its inception – Chris Privitere probably expects an apology. It is unclear what has prompted EA to move on the issue after all this time – customer satisfaction (not likely), or perhaps their slowly dying MMORPG The Old Republic – but at any rate it is now possible for the users of banned accounts to play their single player games in offline mode.

EA writes: “If you find yourself with a disabled account, please note that you can still play EA games in single-player mode. For PC games you will need to enable Origin’s offline mode to play games with a disabled account. Go to the settings tab in Origin (the gear icon) and select Go Offline.”

Given EAs slightly less evil stance on Origin, an individual of loose standards and undiscerning tastes may well expect that one’s position on Origin may in fact begin to soften somewhat; this is simply not the case. While one rejoices in the fact that the soft-minded peons who signed up for Origin are finally having their games returned to them, that does not change the fact that Origin itself is little more than an infection of bloated spyware that only a gormless twit would deliberately inflict his computer with.

9 Comments

  1. Lusipurr
    Posted 2012.04.21 at 12:21 | Permalink

    This post is fine now.

  2. evilpaul
    Posted 2012.04.21 at 15:08 | Permalink

    I know this is a Xenogears reference! ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19swM5L7_UQ ) You guys should do another replay of that instead of Vincent Valentine: A Sexy Fanfiction Adventure! Also, GUNS! for the thing you’re going to do.

    I never played the original Prey, like everyone else, but did see a friend play a decent amount of it. I think it was Doom 3/Quake 4 engine? It had some neat ideas, but not enough to make me want to play it. Prey 2, however, looked like it could be pretty good. I’m glad to hear it’s not dead, and would also appreciate if publishers could for five minutes stop pooping on everybody they can find.

    The Assasin’s Creed lawsuit I thought was pretty funny. And although I won’t personally participate in it unless there’s something actually serious at stake, I love reading about Internet Justice. It’s like the letter writing campaigns of oldey tymes, except I get to see the results and I don’t just imagine some jerkass on the receiving end’s secretary filing them in the circular suggestions box. (Or whatever that trash can euphemism is.)

    Did Chris Privateparts actually say Origin was OK? A pox upon his house!!! I’m kind of curious about KOTOR… how much money has it lost them so far, and could it kill the EALeviathan?

  3. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2012.04.22 at 00:36 | Permalink

    Another Xenogears playthrough is an excellent idea, EP, though I am sure that a Dirge of Cerberus playthrough is a similarly excellent idea also! :)

    Pray did indeed use the Doom 3 engine, a great bit of tech for its time (unlike the Rage engine). Prey 2 looks so different from the previous game that I don’t see why they even bothered keeping the misleading name association.

    Chris Privitere has been making some Motokian proclamations of late.

  4. Lusipurr
    Posted 2012.04.22 at 01:31 | Permalink

    OHSHITDIRGEOFCERBERUS.

  5. Mel
    Posted 2012.04.22 at 21:23 | Permalink

    Gormless! What a word.

  6. 7thCircle
    Posted 2012.05.02 at 07:27 | Permalink

    Don’t forget Bethesda did the QA on Fallout: New Vegas too, and it was their call to release it with the most bugs I’ve ever seen in a console game.

  7. Mel
    Posted 2012.05.02 at 08:40 | Permalink

    I thought Obsidian handled that game. But I guess Bethesda did the QA? I didn’t think they worked on it at all.

  8. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2012.05.02 at 10:49 | Permalink

    Bathesda had the right of refusal for the game’s release since they own the license, and they probably also picked up some of the development costs.

    The QA was in their court, but then I kind of doubt that Bathesda take their QA seriously – just look at what happened to the PS3 version of Skyrim!

  9. Mel
    Posted 2012.05.02 at 11:02 | Permalink

    Well, that’s console gaming this gen! Don’t PAY our staff to QA the game, just release it buggy and get PAID by gullible early adopters to do your QA for you and release hasty patches weeks or days after release!