Feature: Summer Donation Drive 2011

Donate

If you have this kind of money lying about, why not give some or all of it to Lusipurr.com?

The Lusipurr.com Summer Donation Drive has begun. From now until 20 August, donate your hard-earned (or not-so-hard-earned) fundage to Lusipurr.com. Why? To make Lusipurr suffer for your amusement, of course.

Lusipurr has never actually written a comprehensive and serious review of a game before, despite numerous requests for him to do so. Now, because the site needs to raise some money to fund game giveaways and layout assets, Lusipurr has generously(!) decided to auction off his first-ever review. Your donations are what will choose the topic of that review.

Every donation that is made between now and the end of the day on 20 August will push the donation thermometer in the sidebar ever higher. The higher it goes, the worse the game.

The thermometer starts at $0 and the best RPG–nay, the best game–of all time: Final Fantasy VII. Once the first threshold is crossed at $100, the bad games are on. From there on up, the games go from bad to worse–and from there to truly legendarily terrible, all the way up to the worst game of all time: Deadly Towers.

At the end of the donation drive, Lusipurr will play through and complete the game indicated by the thermometer, after which he will write a comprehensive review for the site along with a recorded (downloadable) version for the podcast. If this sounds like something you’d like to inflict upon him, get donating! Now is your chance to fill Lusipurr with increasing dread.

* * *

Bonus Challenge
For every $100 donated by 20 August beyond the target of $1,000, Lusipurr will write an additional review of another game from the list (his choice, excluding FFVII).

Deadline Challenge 1: SUCCESS!!!
Because the half-way mark of $500 was reached before 1 July, Lusipurr will do an additional podcast review of Fable.

Deadline Challenge 2: SUCCESS!!!
Because the top-line goal of $1,000 was reached before 1 August, Lusipurr will write and perform a fifteen-minute long radio theatrical of the plot of FABLE, and the entire site will have an official FABLE week, replete with FABLE news, FABLE reviews, FABLE artwork, and a FABLE-themed podcast. FABLE-ULOUS!

Now there’s a gauntlet being thrown down. Happy donating!

205 Comments

  1. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.05.29 at 21:41 | Permalink

    I’m hoping to see Unlimited Saga “win”! I don’t think that “game” can be beaten. Now I’m quarter tempted to check Youtube for a Let’s Play.

  2. Deimosion
    Posted 2011.05.29 at 21:43 | Permalink

    Legend of Legaia worse than Final Fantasy II? MADNESS, I say! Madness!

  3. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.05.29 at 21:45 | Permalink

    @EP: I believe that every game on that list can be beaten–remember, Unlimited SaGa sold 500,000 copies in Japan and received a Gold Award from Sony. It was a HUGE game over there.

    I specifically did not consider for inclusion on this list games that are ‘broken’–that is, games which are so flawed that they are either impossible or only beatable by a savant. So, in effect (as you will hear on this week’s podcast), this list is the worst serious games of all time. There are others that are functionally broken, in my opinion. Thus, they were ruled out.

  4. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.05.29 at 21:46 | Permalink

    @Deimosion: Not merely worse. Much worse. Two steps worse!

    To be fair, it’s only worse than Fable because it is longer. They’re equally bad, but I’d finish Fable more quickly. Therefore, less total pain experienced.

  5. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.05.29 at 23:57 | Permalink

    iSpy a new podcast!

  6. RootBeerKing
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 02:54 | Permalink

    Will all donators in this summer donation drive also be entered to win a free game at the end of the year?

  7. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 03:32 | Permalink

    @RB: Yup, as always, any non-staff donator at or over $5 is automatically entered!

  8. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 11:38 | Permalink

    Just a heads-up that the graphic will be updated once per evening, so if you donate and it doesn’t instantly move, you’ll know why.

  9. DanChiSao
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 13:43 | Permalink

    There ya go, Lusi. A little present from one small site owner to another. :)

  10. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 13:55 | Permalink

    Okay, now everyone stop donating, please. Let’s just hold it right here at $90.

  11. RootBeerKing
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 14:33 | Permalink

    Haha nice! We’re at 90 dollars already?! Good show everyone, keep it up!

  12. Oyashiro
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 14:57 | Permalink

    Legend of Legaia is a great game! BOO on you! BOOOOOOOOO!

  13. Oyashiro
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 15:01 | Permalink

    And $10.00 donated! :)

  14. Ethos
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 15:10 | Permalink

    What a great idea. Will definitely be able to donate by the deadline.

  15. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 16:24 | Permalink

    :(
    No more chance of FFVII.

  16. Deimosion
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 16:33 | Permalink

    @Oyashiro I know, right? I love that game.

  17. Oyashiro
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 16:43 | Permalink

    @Deimosion

    Damn strait! *brofist*

    I’d put it on my top ten list for the PS1.

  18. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 16:53 | Permalink

    It’s also on my top ten list for the PS1. It’s one of the top ten worst RPGs for that system, as indicated by its inclusion on this list.

  19. Jenifer
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 17:07 | Permalink

    Question: While being site staff invalidates us from being entered in the contest, will our donations still go this this awesome donation drive?

  20. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 17:10 | Permalink

    I’d have to assume so, Jenifer.

    “Every donation that is made between now and the end of the day on 20 August will push the donation thermometer in the sidebar ever higher. The higher it goes, the worse the game.”

    This strikes me as meaning any donation, no matter the reason it is given or who gives it.

    I know my money’s going toward it. Let’s get it up to 200 by next week, people, and Lusipurr can look forward to a cool extra $100 from me quicker than he expected! Thanks to all who’ve donated so far!

  21. Jenifer
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 17:25 | Permalink

    My personal goal is to see it at least get to Ephemeral Fantasia ($400). I played it voluntarily and realized it was an awful mistake, having someone else experience that will make my experience slightly less traumatic.

    Of course, seeing him in a Cait Sith suit is the ultimate goal. I will travel to Michigan with a video camera and follow him all day for the site’s amusement.

  22. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 18:58 | Permalink

    Yup, staff donations do count!

    To get me in that Cait Sith suit will take around $1,000 every week until the end–not possible, methinks, but there it is thanks to C. Privitere.

    The GIA had a much larger readership than we do, and better talent as well (I include myself in that assessment). But they also had massive bills and the threat of the site going bye-bye (which it eventually did) as well.

    I don’t know if $1,000 is enough to salve me for Deadly Towers, though. I honestly do think it is the worst non-broken game ever devised.

  23. Jenifer
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 19:26 | Permalink

    To get me in that Cait Sith suit will take around $1,000 every week until the end–not possible, methinks

    Challenge accepted.

  24. DanChiSao
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 21:45 | Permalink

    Be prepared, Lusipurr. If I win the lottery between now and then, I will make it happen.

    Muahahahahaha.

  25. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 21:49 | Permalink

    If you win the lottery, Lusipurr.com deserves more than a measly ten grand!

  26. DanChiSao
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 21:57 | Permalink

    Unless I win Shirley Jackson’s lottery, which may still be better than playing Deadly Towers.

  27. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 23:17 | Permalink

    The people who like Legend of Legaia need to go play it again. It left half their souls the first time and being a half-souled nightmare creature is worse than a more normal gingered fellow.

  28. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 23:19 | Permalink

    Also, it’s obviously too late, and not a system Lusipurr has access to, but the Atari Jaguar had a really bad first person action RPG on it. Or maybe it was a action RPG/roguelike hybrid abomination. I don’t remember exactly, but it was terrible.

  29. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 23:49 | Permalink

    Ew. I had forgotten about the Atari Jaguar. Thanks for reminding me.

  30. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 23:50 | Permalink

    Is Unlimited Saga really worse than Ephemeral Fantasia?

  31. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.05.30 at 23:59 | Permalink

    MUCH worse.

  32. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.05.31 at 00:00 | Permalink

    I have only played Unlimited Saga (I own it. I’m convinced it’s why I wasn’t Raptured.), but Ephemeral Fantasia’s screen shots made it look spectactularly terrible. But Unlimited Saga was just so bad that after reading Game FAQS I have no clue how to play it. There’s the reels system that’s impossibly random and you need to win it to succeed. SN, you really need to try US if you haven’t. In twenty minutes it will make you reconsider the whole of reality. That something can be so wrong boggles the mind.

  33. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.05.31 at 00:14 | Permalink

    Imagine a 40 hour RPG based on a vegas slot machine, with everything done on a risk-like map: no dungeons, no puzzles, no towns: just menus and risk panels called these things.

  34. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.05.31 at 21:48 | Permalink

    Now this is more like it. No donations. Final Fantasy II may yet be a possibility, and I’ve nearly beaten that game several times. Easy!

  35. Ethos
    Posted 2011.06.01 at 10:03 | Permalink

    It will not be a possibility. It is only June. Plus, if I have to personally make it Fable by August, I’ll do so!

  36. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.01 at 17:41 | Permalink

    Sure. :)

  37. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.06.01 at 22:10 | Permalink

    @Ethos Well, just remember, as of right now I’ll owe Lusipurr.com $50. Another $50 from anyone and that’ll set the total at $225. So, if the readers can scrounge up another $50 by the end of the summer, we’ll have Lusipurr playing Fable! If they shell out another $50 after that, we’ll get to Legend of Legaia, since that will draw out my full contribution.

  38. Oyashiro
    Posted 2011.06.01 at 22:30 | Permalink

    I hope we get to Legend of Legaia, Once played again Lusi will surly see the brilliance of such a unappreciated gem.

  39. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.01 at 22:39 | Permalink

    It’s unappreciated for a reason.

  40. Ethos
    Posted 2011.06.02 at 00:31 | Permalink

    Bah-ha

  41. Reetin
    Posted 2011.06.02 at 13:45 | Permalink

    Lusipurr, you do realize that I will be donating again in order to get the game to not be a Final Fantasy game, don’t you?

  42. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.02 at 14:49 | Permalink

    I hear a lot of talking, but that thermometer hasn’t budged.

    Methinks it may finally be time to finish FFII. I’m busting it out tonight.

  43. Reetin
    Posted 2011.06.02 at 15:45 | Permalink

    you might as well bust out Fable or Beyond the beyond, just to get ready.

  44. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.02 at 17:34 | Permalink

    Fable possibly, but Beyond the Beyond? Not a chance in hell.

  45. Jenifer
    Posted 2011.06.03 at 19:51 | Permalink

    I get four more paychecks between now and my last day. You’ve been warned.

  46. DanChiSao
    Posted 2011.06.04 at 06:37 | Permalink

    Yeah, you’re probably going to experience an ebb and flow of donation as we all wait for our paychecks to clear. You’re just in the eye of the hurricane right now.

  47. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.06.05 at 01:29 | Permalink

    I’m not sure where to put this, but SiliconNoob needs to do an ironic review of FF:MQ.

  48. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2011.06.05 at 10:11 | Permalink

    Never played it, don’t plan to. Irony’s for hipsters anyway.

  49. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.06.05 at 10:43 | Permalink

    YOU DON’T KNOW FUN!

  50. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2011.06.05 at 11:30 | Permalink

    NOR DO I KNOW CHARITY, TO HELL WITH YOUR FUN!

  51. Bobby Kotick
    Posted 2011.06.06 at 10:48 | Permalink

    Dear Lusipurr,

    The donation drive is a good idea to generate money.
    However, I thought I could teach you a few tricks regarding that.
    Here are some easy steps that will help you make MORE money.

    1.) Sell additional audio for each podcast as DLC
    Simply record a podcast, cut out parts of it and sell it as release day audio DLC.

    2.) Make your podcast a subscription based model with a monthly fee.

    3.) Set up a Megaphones Ahoy ELITE service.
    Do it in addition to 2.) so people have to pay a monthly fee TWICE.
    Offer people the ability to comment, to mute Oliver Motocks voice during a podcast and to access a soundboard with the most famous Lusipurr quotes. Only if they pay up that is.

    Thats all advise I have for you now.

    Good money,
    -Bobby Kotick

  52. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.07 at 14:40 | Permalink

    Thanks, Emperor Kotick!

    Note that there have been no futher donations from the public since DAY ONE!

    Final Fantasy II it *will* be. I feel confident!

    And that’s okay. Like I said, I’ve almost completed it several times. No problem there!

  53. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.06.07 at 18:49 | Permalink

    If I had any money I’d totally donate enough to get to Legend of Legaia. :-/

  54. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.06.07 at 19:59 | Permalink

    10 more dollars and Lusipurr is wrong. I will be receiving my first paycheck soon, so my donation will come soon.

  55. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.09 at 14:05 | Permalink

    @Slab: $25 from you for for every $50 donated by others means that even with your upcoming donation, we’d only be at $190.

    SO THERE.

  56. Jenifer
    Posted 2011.06.10 at 13:12 | Permalink

    Done. Bitch.

  57. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.10 at 13:45 | Permalink

    You are a mean little bitch.

  58. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.10 at 13:47 | Permalink

    At $200. I will now be playing Fable. Could be worse, I s’pose.

  59. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.06.10 at 16:55 | Permalink

    Fable: GET!

  60. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2011.06.11 at 05:39 | Permalink

    Ephemeral Phantasia!

  61. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.11 at 13:03 | Permalink

    @SN: Don’t bet on it. Though with Slab Bulkhead’s promised donation, he now owes his full pledge of $100, which should catapault us directly from Fable to Legaia.

  62. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.06.11 at 16:43 | Permalink

    I actually played a few minutes of Legaia to recall exactly how bad it was. It was like being kicked in the balls for my soul.

  63. Ginia
    Posted 2011.06.11 at 19:04 | Permalink

    Faaaaaaaaable!

    People need to donate more, though. As much as Lusi will hate Fable, he can get through it in about 7 hours.

    The agony must be long and drawn out.

  64. Ginia
    Posted 2011.06.12 at 13:53 | Permalink

    $50 donated to help push past Fable. :)

  65. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.12 at 13:55 | Permalink

    To be fair, $25 of that is to cover me shipping you some books and a game!!!

    MAYBE I will be generous enough to include that in the total, cheater!

  66. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.12 at 13:58 | Permalink

    As for Fable, if SB keeps his pledge, that won’t be a problem. Ephemetal Fantasia. Ugh. 100+ hours. All of them bad.

  67. Ginia
    Posted 2011.06.12 at 14:19 | Permalink

    TEEHEE

  68. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.12 at 15:36 | Permalink

    You giggle, but that game is LONG and AWFUL.

    There’s much worse, though (Unlimited SaGa).

  69. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.06.13 at 23:17 | Permalink

    As per my tweet, Lusipurr, you will have your donation as soon as I get some things sorted out. I wish to avoid my nosy mother. She likes to track my spending by opening my mail.

    Rest assured that (unfortunately) you will not be playing Fable. I must express that I am proud of our readers. They rose to the occasion, donating enough to warrant my full pledge BEFORE my very vague deadline of “the middle of June”. Good show!

  70. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.06.14 at 19:04 | Permalink

    It took me long enough, but the deed is done! Enjoy your free boost upward, readers!

  71. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.15 at 02:02 | Permalink

    Go, thermometer, go!

  72. DarthGibblet
    Posted 2011.06.15 at 07:42 | Permalink

    (to the tune of Inspector Gadget)do-DODO-dodo-do-dododo-dodo

  73. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.15 at 12:57 | Permalink

    We’re getting terribly close to the half-way point…

  74. Scott
    Posted 2011.06.15 at 15:53 | Permalink

    $25 coming to you from the U.K.

  75. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.15 at 16:41 | Permalink

    Wow, the donations are flying in this week. At this rate, I’ll be playing Deadly Towers before August! D:

  76. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.06.15 at 16:48 | Permalink

    You see, Lusipurr? Despite your incessant British weabooism, even the UK wants you to suffer!

  77. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.06.15 at 18:57 | Permalink

    Eww, Legend of Legaia. It’s soooo bad.

  78. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.15 at 20:45 | Permalink

    I’m amazed that we are only half-way through June and we are already at $390.

    I’m beginning to be worried that I’m going to have to come up with some further challenges beyond $1,000, which I really did not expect. And that is problematic, as there is *nothing* worse than Deadly Towers.

    Hrm. Perhaps at every milestone past $1,000, I’ll review an extra game from the list, or something.

    Ugh, ugh, ugh.

  79. Epyon
    Posted 2011.06.16 at 00:47 | Permalink

    Glad to you you guys doing so well. Just two things I am not pleased with; 1) I really liked Legend of Legaia and 2) I really wanted Lusipurr to review Fable!

    Quest 64 is really bad… hope you make it there.

  80. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.06.16 at 01:16 | Permalink

    The most god awful thing on the way to $1000, to me at least, is probably Unlimited Saga, so that would be the intensely terrible title I’d like to see. But still Legend of Legaia is what non-crazy people consider JRPG-Super AIDS, so there’s that.

  81. Scott
    Posted 2011.06.16 at 16:59 | Permalink

    So you would consider reviewing a 2nd game if the donation drive tops $1000? I’d pay to see that happen! Or rather, I’d pay again.

  82. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.16 at 17:02 | Permalink

    @Scott: Yep, for every 100 past $1000 I’ll review another game from the list–MY CHOICE, though!

    So, in essence, if $2,000 were donated, I’d review every game on the list.

  83. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.06.17 at 19:15 | Permalink

    No FF7 for that game though!

  84. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.06.19 at 00:04 | Permalink

    I just wanted to mention that there’s a bug in the site software stuff that’s listing the 83 post split by 25 posts per page as number 33. And now I’m going to resume drinking alone. With nobody else.

  85. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.19 at 02:18 | Permalink

    Apparently it starts renumbering every time it changes pages. We’ll have to get RBK to have a look at that.

  86. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.22 at 01:45 | Permalink

    $10 short of Ephemeral Fantasia for a week now! Everyone must have blown their paycheques on Foster’s and dancing girls!

  87. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.06.22 at 15:12 | Permalink

    I paid a few girls money to watch them drink Foster’s! I’m a monster. :(

    Also, free Team Fortress 2 this week!! When do you guys play?

  88. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.22 at 15:13 | Permalink

    As a general rule, we play on Saturdays after recording the podcast, so around 22:00 Eastern US time.

  89. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.22 at 17:41 | Permalink

    We’ve got about a week left in the month and $110 to go to the halfway mark. Sooo…

    LUSIPURR’S SUMMER DONATION CHALLENGE NO. 1

    If we can hit the half-way mark BEFORE 1 July, I will do an additional podcast review of an extra game on this list (excluding FFVII).

  90. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.23 at 13:32 | Permalink

    Hmm… all quiet. Maybe we’ve hit the limit at last? Esp. considering as we’ve only been $10 away from the next game for a week.

    I’m tempted to donate the $10 myself just to bump it up to EF so that we can end on a nice square number.

  91. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.06.23 at 15:23 | Permalink

    Possibly…but remember, Lusipurr, paychecks for non-salaried jobs are usually bi-weekly! I’d say it’s only two donation-free weeks in a row that should worry you.

  92. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.06.23 at 15:23 | Permalink

    Bi-monthly, rather.

  93. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.23 at 15:50 | Permalink

    Surely all of our readers are salaried?

    We endeavour only to cater to successful, professional, cultured individuals!

  94. DanChiSao
    Posted 2011.06.23 at 17:59 | Permalink

    When I was at a salaried job, I got paid semi-monthly, now I get paid bi-weekly. I’m certainly not done donating. I just can’t do it every pay period.

  95. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.23 at 18:20 | Permalink

    Everyone should donate everything every day forever!

    Meanwhile, Lusipurr.com is relocating its offices to the Bahamas.

  96. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.06.23 at 21:58 | Permalink

    Err, trying again.

    We endeavour only to cater to successful, professional, cultured individuals!

    I’m not wearing pants!

  97. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2011.06.25 at 04:33 | Permalink

    EPHEMERAL FANTASIA!!!

  98. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.25 at 12:19 | Permalink

    EPHEMERAL FANTASIA!? D:

  99. DanChiSao
    Posted 2011.06.25 at 12:37 | Permalink

    Yes, Ephemeral Fantasia – the Endless Eight of RPGs! :D

  100. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.25 at 13:34 | Permalink

    That means only $90 must be raised over the next five days for me to have to do a second review.

    Ugh. I think I should have set the bar higher.

  101. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.26 at 12:56 | Permalink

    I forgot to mention this before, but because of the way the site graphic works, a manual refresh of the site is often necessary if you want to see the latest updates to it.

  102. Ethos
    Posted 2011.06.26 at 23:43 | Permalink

    Seriously! I haven’t even had to donate yet and you’re at near $500.

  103. Ethos
    Posted 2011.06.28 at 22:18 | Permalink

    Super test comment!

  104. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.06.28 at 22:34 | Permalink

    NO U

  105. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.29 at 13:21 | Permalink

    Still at $90 to the first deadline challenge, which we have decided will be a full podcast review of FABLE.

    The challenge runs until the last minute of June, US EDT. Can they make it? Can they achieve the unacheiveable achievement!? TIME WILL TELL!

  106. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.06.29 at 13:35 | Permalink

    Come on! It’s Fable, people!

  107. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.06.29 at 19:40 | Permalink

    Did Montok the Destroyer and Ethos the Ethosable return to Lusipurr.com?!?

    I’m still praying for Unlimited Saga. That game is trancendentally terrible.

  108. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.29 at 19:50 | Permalink

    Montok and Ethos are both back on staff.

    Unlimited SaGa is the worst game I own. Easily.

  109. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.30 at 01:03 | Permalink

    IT IS THE FINAL DAY FOR THE FIRST CHALLENGE! Less than 24 hours and I’m safe from a prodcast review of Fable!

  110. Ethos
    Posted 2011.06.30 at 10:23 | Permalink

    ugh, bad timing! Able to cash my paycheque tomorrow. Not that I’d have all $90, but I would help the push!

  111. Reetin
    Posted 2011.06.30 at 13:27 | Permalink

    We need to get 90 dollars by tomorrow! Lets make Lusipurr play Fable.

  112. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.30 at 20:45 | Permalink

    Two hours left! I’m safe as safe can be!

  113. DarthGibblet
    Posted 2011.06.30 at 20:52 | Permalink

    One step closer!

  114. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.30 at 21:01 | Permalink

    FUCK!

  115. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.30 at 21:18 | Permalink

    Now that we are only $30 from SHADOW MADNESS, it is apparent that I will have to play Fable from beginning to end solely for the purpose of a podcast review of it.

    I like how you guys made me wait until I was convinced of my safety from that fate. Very nice. It’s not like I had several days to let it sink in. Nope. First, exultation, and then RAGE.

    You’re all a lot of bastards. Generous bastards, but still bastards.

  116. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.30 at 21:22 | Permalink

    And though he hasn’t commented here, Lusipurr.com takes its hat off to Glenn Wilson, who has contributed mightily to the recent advancement.

  117. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.30 at 21:24 | Permalink

    Today is the day I begin to accept that I am going to have to play through, and complete, Deadly Towers.

    And Fable.

    And possibly a great many other games from that list.

  118. Ethos
    Posted 2011.06.30 at 21:41 | Permalink

    I adore Glenn Wilson.

  119. 7thCircle
    Posted 2011.06.30 at 21:58 | Permalink

    Ever since you bashed Fable on the RPGCast three years ago after only playing the intro, I’ve been silently biding my time, planning the series of events that would lead to this moment where my action would force you to play the whole damn game! VENGEANCE IS MINE!

  120. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.06.30 at 22:01 | Permalink

    Oh! What wicked cruelty! What terrible fate! That I should be undone in such a way: by a fiend, plotting revenge, biding his time to VENGE himself upon me! I AN UNDONE!

    FABLE is a terrible game, the intro. not withstanding. And soon, I shall be forced to PROVE it. Then, vengeance will be MINE.

  121. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.01 at 00:11 | Permalink

    Also I’m pissed than Glenn Wilson’s first act on this site was to KNIFE ME IN THE BACK.

  122. Reetin
    Posted 2011.07.01 at 03:29 | Permalink

    Glen Wilson you are a god among men.

  123. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2011.07.01 at 10:55 | Permalink

    *SN begins a slow-clap for Glenn*

  124. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.07.01 at 13:36 | Permalink

    *clap*

  125. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.07.01 at 15:28 | Permalink

    *clap*

  126. Ethos
    Posted 2011.07.01 at 15:59 | Permalink

    *clapclap*

  127. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.01 at 16:04 | Permalink

    I’m *not* clapping and I’m *not* happy about being only thirty dollars away from Craveyard’s salty rpg turd from the 90s.

  128. DanChiSao
    Posted 2011.07.01 at 17:54 | Permalink

    *clap clap clap* Good show, Glenn.

  129. Drachonus
    Posted 2011.07.01 at 23:45 | Permalink

    *clap clap clap* hmm, how to torture lusipurr worse…. every week he makes the challenge statement, he’ll have to play another game from that list fan’s choice from the donations comlete. at the fan contributing $100 would mean he’d have to play fable 1 with bonus content, if a fan contributes $200 cumulative, he’s forced to play all 3 fables with all bonus content in a row… *evil grin* lusi, what would you pay in TF2 for a pith helmet and flame spewing megaphone for the pyro class? also let’s torture lusi by making him play ALL the games on the list and review them… this way we can hear the anguished cry of Lusipurr as his eyes bleed and his brain drips from his nose until he considers Barbie horse riding as a game for all times best… IE no more brains and we retrain him to be smaller, faster, tougher, better. PS where’s the women? the podcast needs moor breast physics

  130. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.02 at 00:16 | Permalink

    You’ll have women on the next podcast, no worries!

    The only way I’ll have to play and fully review every game on this list would be amazing donating. And though we’ve had amazing donating, I don’t think I have to worry about that.

    Though I suspect I shouldn’t speak too soon. I was seriously congratulating myself last night on not having to play Fable, and look how that turned out.

  131. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2011.07.02 at 00:23 | Permalink

    @Drachonus: Do you think TF2 sells Fable hats?

  132. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.07.02 at 08:41 | Permalink

    It’s…the beginning of July, and we’re over halfway to Deadly Towers. This is more than even I suspected would happen!

  133. DanChiSao
    Posted 2011.07.02 at 16:05 | Permalink

    I have good news for you Lusi, my paychecks have started at my new job AND my financial aid for Summer semester is almost here. Muahahahaha.

  134. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.02 at 16:47 | Permalink

    This is madness, I tell you. Madness!

    …Shadow Madness. ;.;

  135. Oyashiro
    Posted 2011.07.02 at 21:48 | Permalink

    Even though we are all selfish SOBs… The fact that we can band together in order to cause one another emotional pain and suffering…. Its beautiful!

  136. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.07.04 at 00:54 | Permalink

    Nobody is allowed to contribute past Unlimited Saga. That game is so bad that the universe decrees it.

  137. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2011.07.04 at 06:17 | Permalink

    That’s how I felt about Ephemeral Fantasia …

  138. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.07.04 at 10:21 | Permalink

    I still haven’t found a copy of that, but I’m looking. It’s just that looking at screenshots of it, I think, “That’s a game. Its graphics are terrible and it’s generic looking, but it looks like a thing I could, in fact, play.”

    Unlimited Saga is also a game that you can play. But good luck getting out of the menu based town in less than an hour to die in the random board game map in two minutes without reading a FAQ the length of the Bible.

    I’ll check out a LP of EF to see what all the suck is about.

  139. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.04 at 10:24 | Permalink

    I can confirm what EP has said. I’ve played all of the games on the list, and Unlimited SaGa is unargueably much worse than Ephemeral Fantasia.

    US is easily the worst game I own. It is virtually unplayable unless you have read some truly massive walkthroughs. It is complex–and not in a good way. Arcane might be a better word to describe it. And all of that would be barely tolerable were it fun. But it is not. The entire game takes place in menus and on a board-game-like map. It is thoroughly dreadful in every way.

    But it is still better than Deadly Towers.

  140. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2011.07.04 at 12:20 | Permalink

    Wow, every game?! I’d wager that most of us have played several games on the list, but every last one?!! That’s an awful run of luck!

  141. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.06 at 17:42 | Permalink

    @SN: I play a lot of games–especially back in the day. Many of the games on that list are pretty old.

    Thanks to Oyashiro and Reetin, we are $40 away from Unlimited SaGa.

  142. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.07.09 at 00:58 | Permalink

    I promise to come to the residence of and punch in the soul any person who contributes past Unlimited Saga/Satan. SERIOUS BUSINESS.

  143. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.12 at 01:15 | Permalink

    @EP: Now now, EP. Deadly Towers really is worse.

  144. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.16 at 00:58 | Permalink

    Darth has generously donated the $30 difference I owed him on a TF2 hat to the site, so that we are now only $10 away from Unlimited SaGa D:

  145. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.07.16 at 01:59 | Permalink

    MY KINGDOM FOR $10!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  146. DanChiSao
    Posted 2011.07.16 at 09:06 | Permalink

    Enjoy your Unlimited Saga, Lusi! :)

  147. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.16 at 12:26 | Permalink

    :(

  148. Underdog
    Posted 2011.07.16 at 15:39 | Permalink

    ROFL, Unlimited Saga, please for the love of God tell me you’re video casting that punishment.

  149. Underdog
    Posted 2011.07.16 at 15:42 | Permalink

    And how the hell did Fable make this worst game list? I would understand Fable 2 but Fable?

  150. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.16 at 15:44 | Permalink

    @Underdog: It’s on this list by virtue of being absolutely fucking terrible, like all of the other games on that list.

  151. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.18 at 16:20 | Permalink

    It’s time for the SECOND (and final) DONATION CHALLENGE!

    Can our army of donating donators reach the final goal before the month of August even dawns?

    If so:
    Lusipurr will prepare a fifteen-minute-long, one-man, radio, theatrical performance of the plot of one of the games from the list. Which game? Why, none other than FABLE, of course!

    Additionally:
    The week in which the theatrical and the podcast review are done will be designated as a site-wide FABLE WEEK, with additional reviews of Fable, Fable-related news, and special limited-edition Fable-themed Lusipurr.com artwork. The entire podcast will also have a Fable-theme (beyond having a review of Fable and a theatrical performance of Fable).

    So get out there and get donating! August is but a fortnight away!

  152. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.07.18 at 16:45 | Permalink

    Hoho, so now you’re trying to rope ALL us staff members into playing and reviewing Fable as well?

    Sneaky, sneaky!

    You heard him, readers! 300 more bucks in the next two weeks and you get to make Lusipurr’s entire staff suffer! That’s like 10 times the suffering for a fraction of the cost!

  153. Deimosion
    Posted 2011.07.18 at 17:33 | Permalink

    If the readership can meet the challenge, I will play through and review all three Fable games. I don’t think you’ll do it, readers. Prove me wrong.

  154. Ethos
    Posted 2011.07.18 at 19:15 | Permalink

    One man? I want to be part of a Lusipurr.com radio play!

  155. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.18 at 22:54 | Permalink

    @Deimosion: Madness!

    @Ethos: Too bad!

  156. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.07.19 at 00:28 | Permalink

    I just wanted to mention that I completed Blacksmith class and will cut anyone with knives who prevents an Unlimited Saga playthrough with knives that I made with my blacksmithitude. Which is totally a word.

    Also, anyone who prevents such a thing should be located on the east coast near me for convenience sake. If you can provide your own stabbing knife too that would be appreciated.

  157. Deimosion
    Posted 2011.07.19 at 00:56 | Permalink

    @Lusipurr Madness? Perhaps, but my challenge stands.

  158. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.19 at 12:43 | Permalink

    @EP: Pfui. I’m tempted to strike it from the list just because of your feeble threats!

    @Deimosion: You will be pleased to hear that since the donation challenge was made, as much as no dollars have been donated!

  159. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.07.19 at 14:51 | Permalink

    @Lusipurr We all know that no dollars will be donated between now and August because the readers don’t want the rest of your staff to suffer! They only want you to suffer!

    Right, readers? Right?

  160. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.19 at 16:46 | Permalink

    Writing and performing a one-man radio theatrical of the plot of Fable IS suffering!

    So is turning my website into the internet’s PREMIERE Fable fan page!

    Don’t even get me started on the Fable-themed podcast.

  161. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.21 at 10:37 | Permalink

    It’s like a graveyard; too quiet!

    Perhaps $700 is the end? We still have about three weeks of August to go after this, but it would be a shame to miss the second challenge.

    I bet the readers have used all their money on ice to combat this infernal heat!

  162. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.07.21 at 12:43 | Permalink

    Indeed! That or they have figured, with this heat, the staff has suffered enough!

  163. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.21 at 14:21 | Permalink

    Alas. :(

  164. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.21 at 15:10 | Permalink

    I have just donated $50 of my own money in to making myself miserable; no small feat given my straitened circs., but I should not like to see the deadline arrive without even a step towards it. So now, if it is not reached, at least I cannot blame myself!

    Edit (2011.07.24): Donation reversed on account of the fact that, good intentions not withstanding, I actually *have* to pay my car insurance. :(

  165. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2011.07.22 at 23:17 | Permalink

    So what is this Hydlide?

  166. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.22 at 23:25 | Permalink

    @SN: Thanks to you, we may find out! (one week until the donation challenge ends, folks!)

  167. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.23 at 19:07 | Permalink

    Today, Darth gifted three copies of Civ V to various staff members.

    His generosity demands generosity in return. I consider these gifts donations.

    At seventeen dollars each, that is fifty-one dollars.

    Hydlide.

  168. Ethos
    Posted 2011.07.24 at 16:05 | Permalink

    Wow, watched some Hydlide footage on YouTube.

    It. Looks. Horrible.

  169. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.24 at 16:17 | Permalink

    It really is absolute trash.

    But there are two games that are even worse. One destroys what RPGs ought to be, and the other destroys what video games ought to be.

  170. Ethos
    Posted 2011.07.24 at 16:28 | Permalink

    I just watched about 10 minutes of Beyond the Beyond. It looks not-great, but I didn’t see anything to propel it up to the number two spot from what I saw.

  171. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.24 at 16:31 | Permalink

    @Ethos: It is MUCH longer than Hydlide and is absolutely every bad thing about RPGs combined into one single game.

    You’d have to play it to understand I suspect.

  172. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.07.24 at 22:23 | Permalink

    Hm…We are VERY close.

  173. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.24 at 22:42 | Permalink

    @SB: It’s about to go back up. It looks like I won’t be able to make my car insurance payment after all, so I can’t donate that $50. :(

    Ah well. At least the site won’t have to endure a Fable week at this rate.

  174. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.07.25 at 14:41 | Permalink

    Que sera, sera, mi amigo. Es la responsibilidad de los lectos.

    You guys are almost there! Deimosion and I have also promised to suffer through Fable if you make it to $1000 by August 1st, so keep that in mind!

  175. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.07.26 at 10:44 | Permalink

    GDI. I wanted Unlimited Saga. I still don’t believe that game can be beaten.

    @Ethos, I’ve beaten Beyond the Beyond, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear to me I think it was in the big launch PSX boxes and I had finished my other games or something, and I assure you it was utterly terrible. You go into the underworld at one point and there’s a water level that’s terrible I think. I’m pretty sure you get the FF1 style class change, but the game’s still fucking terrible.

  176. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.26 at 15:54 | Permalink

    Five days. Two hundred thirty dollars. This time, I think I can safely say that it is a fail. There will be no site-wide Fableness, for which the staff can breathe a sigh of relief.

    I know I’ve been wrong about my predictions before, but this time, I finally think I’ve called a sure bet.

  177. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.29 at 21:52 | Permalink

    Just over forty-eight hours and hardly a bean has been put in the soup since we announced it. Well, there’s still the 20 August deadline, chaps!

  178. Durga Syn
    Posted 2011.07.30 at 16:06 | Permalink

    It seems that donating past the 800 dollar mark will result in not just one, but two angry/miserable people… How could I possibly resist?

  179. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.30 at 16:06 | Permalink

    Update time! 195 to go with just over a day left in the deadline challenge. Currently: HYDLIDE.

    Three weeks until the end of the donation drive! We haven’t far to go. Let’s get it to the top!

  180. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.31 at 12:10 | Permalink

    Make that $155 to go!

  181. Brettsuo
    Posted 2011.07.31 at 17:31 | Permalink

    HA!

  182. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.31 at 19:33 | Permalink

    o . o

    . . .

    O . O

  183. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.31 at 19:39 | Permalink

    TARGET REACHED.

    With three and a half hours to spare, Brettsuo has put us over the top. I don’t know whether to thank him or send men to kill him in the night.

    The site will now experience all the wonder that is Fable. For a week solid. With a radio play. And a fable-podcast. And special art. And reviews.

    I will have to play Deadly Towers–the worst game ever created.

    EVERY additional $100 means an *additional* game I have to play from the list. Donations run until 20 August, so you can still APPLY THE PAIN.

    I’m absolutely.

    Totally.

    Completely.

    And utterly taken aback.

    Honestly gobsmacked. Not sure what else I can say.

  184. Deimosion
    Posted 2011.07.31 at 20:05 | Permalink

    Well…I’ll be damned. It looks like I have to play through all three Fable games now.

  185. DanChiSao
    Posted 2011.07.31 at 21:53 | Permalink

    Bravo everyone. Good show!

  186. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.07.31 at 23:50 | Permalink

    I stand amazed. Still.

  187. Brettsuo
    Posted 2011.08.01 at 00:16 | Permalink

    I think I’m beginning to feel guilty for my part in forcing a bunch of complete strangers to do something they genuinely dislike…

  188. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2011.08.01 at 04:42 | Permalink

    Oh WOW! Lusi is going to be a shell of a man after this … I don’t know whether to LOL, or be genuinely concerned for his health …

  189. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.08.01 at 04:59 | Permalink

    Well, I uh…huh. Guess it’s Fable time. I made the pledge, too…Dang. One thousand dollars before the end of summer? Well done, readers!

  190. Oyashiro
    Posted 2011.08.01 at 17:06 | Permalink

    Holy Shit… it actually made it to $1000…You can buy a lot of hats with that!

  191. Blitzmage
    Posted 2011.08.01 at 17:48 | Permalink

    yeah i have to do fable also, but i dont have to do fable two or three

  192. Ethos
    Posted 2011.08.01 at 18:14 | Permalink

    Congratulations and heavy weeping is in order.

  193. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.08.01 at 20:16 | Permalink

    I suppose Deimosion will say I have to play Fable II and III to match him. Wait a minute…

  194. Deimosion
    Posted 2011.08.01 at 23:45 | Permalink

    Nah, I would never willingly subject someone else to this hell.

  195. Blitzmage
    Posted 2011.08.01 at 23:54 | Permalink

    hell in game form

  196. Lane
    Posted 2011.08.02 at 15:06 | Permalink

    This disproves my mother’s “quitters never win” theory.

  197. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.08.02 at 15:14 | Permalink

    @Deimosion But, if we play all three, then we could POOL our money so we don’t have to buy two copies of each game!

  198. Drachonus
    Posted 2011.08.03 at 10:25 | Permalink

    mwahahaha now my fellow minions, let’s reach in and get him to $2000 before the 20th so Lusipurr will have to play the full list and review them all! then as real punishment have the worst of the worst former employees do a special podcast congratulating him in their own ways. XD

  199. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.08.10 at 16:08 | Permalink

    @Drachonus: So far no donations since the $1,000 target was hit, so I think the readers’ lust for pain has finally been sated.

  200. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.08.12 at 09:36 | Permalink

    I’m not wearing pants!

    Excesior!

  201. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.08.13 at 14:25 | Permalink

    I completed Deadly Towers yesterday and will write up a review soon.

    ONE WEEK REMAINS UNTIL THE DONATION DRIVE ENDS.

  202. Mel
    Posted 2011.08.14 at 22:10 | Permalink

    I don’t know whether to look forward to this review, or to feel bad for you because you had to play that game. I know! I’ll do both!

  203. Slab Bulkhead
    Posted 2011.08.14 at 23:27 | Permalink

    Mel, I heard some of the playing. You should go for a quadruple dose of feeling bad, and only half a dose of looking forward to the review.

  204. evilpaul
    Posted 2011.08.14 at 23:40 | Permalink

    So was stabbing black ball things an absurd amount of times a mindblowingly awesome fun quest?!?!?

  205. Lusipurr
    Posted 2011.08.19 at 16:21 | Permalink

    @EP: No.

    DONATIONS END TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT. The thermometer will be coming down this evening. Any donations from that point onward need to use the official Donation button in the right side bar!