Because Stealing the Wii Was Not Enough
With Sony and Microsoft stealing the thunder from Nintendo’s motion controlled exclusivity, the Japanese powerhouse was left to create something new and awesome, a piece of technology that the others did not have. This device was revealed to us at E3, the Nintendo 3DS…which is now being stolen again. In an interview with Kotaku, an unnamed Sony developer suggests that they will be ‘borrowing’ the concept of a slider to adjust the 3D levels of their games for the PS3. Explaining that 3D requires the viewer to be at just the right angle or they could experience vision problems or a headache, the developer worries that not having a slider could lead to players being forced to sit in exactly one spot all the time in order to properly view the game. The addition of the slider would thus allow players to change the level of the 3D or, in cases where you are not filthy rich to own a 3D television, turn it off completely. The first game to utilize this will be a Sly Cooper collection to be released in November.
Diablo and Spore Make Babby
So you have made your gigantic penis monster alien, like everyone else that played Spore, and now you want to take it around the universe to molest other aliens. Well soon you can! Darkspore got a good deal of attention this week at San Diego Comic-Con, where we received some gorgeous screenshots and a vague release date of second quarter 2011. The creators are quick to point out that, while it does still have the Creature Editor, it is not simply ‘Spore 2’ or a more edgy, emo version of the original game. Instead, it takes a page from the very popular Diablo series with its point-and-click gameplay style. The player will control three genetic heroes who go about the universe to destroy the Darkspore, a storyline that can either be played individually or in a multiplayer co-op mode. These genetic heroes can be recruited throughout the game, sporting and almost Pokemon-like mechanic in the player’s desire to catch them all. Like Valve, EA will be sponsoring a contest for users to create the best creature to be featured in the game, so get your mangled penis monstrosity ready.
Gold Farmers, Your E-Cocaine Dealers
University of Minnesota has a rather interesting computer science graduate program, where you can apparently do your doctoral thesis on the ethics of video game gold farmers. Conducting his research study on Everquest II, Muhammad Aurangzeb Ahmad, with the assistance of Brian Keegan of Northwestern University, compared the overall structure in which gold farmers do business with the way that drug dealers and other gangs conduct their illicit business. The study found that many gold farmers are just as paranoid about who they deal to as the average street dealer would be, with complex networks arranged to keep them informed about any leads to their illegal activities. The study also proved that, while Ginia is a racist bitch, she is not incorrect: nearly eighty percent of gold farmers are Chinese, though they make up a small percentage of all Chinese gamers, and an even smaller number of the international gaming community.
Grand Theft Auto, Now With a Baby Seat
If you live in Ohio, why the fuck do you live in such a shitty state? While I mock your miserable existence, you should keep your eyes peeled for a red Kia Spectra, either because you want to help the police, or because you can get an Xbox 360 if you are willing to steal it back from the man who stole it in the first place. Getting his priorities right, the white male who is described as fat and balding brought his baby into Best Buy with him for Junior’s first robbery, carrying the baby in much the same haphazard manner as the two 360s he stole before rushing out to his luxurious getaway car. Witnesses say that neither the child nor the 360s were properly secured as he sped off, presumably with the economy engine roaring with the full force of their four cylinders. Yet again, America proves that we are morons and, even worse, we are breeding.