Jenifer ‘Biggs’ Biggs

Hello there! My name is Jenifer Michelle “Doesn’t Have a Witty Nickname Like Everyone Else” Biggs, and like everyone else here, I was recruited in by Lusipurr after he realized I am a pedantic asinine dork like the rest of the Lusipurr.com staff.

I was born in 1987 in Maryland and currently still live there, though I will be back in Chicago, Illinois later this year. I am currently still an undergrad student, stuck deciding between pre-medicine and pre-law. When I am not studying, I am either playing video games, swimming through the ocean of piss that is the internet, or performing my duties as a professional pet sitter. Before my career was limited to picking up canine excrement, I was one of the unfortunate souls, like a few others here at Lusipurr.com, that worked for GameStop/EB Games. This too required cleaning up shit, though the customers were not cute and fuzzy.

My first video game experience was in 1993, when my older sister picked up Secret of Mana for the SNES. This is and, barring something absolutely earth-shattering, always will be my favorite video game. After that, the Blockbuster video down the street had a copy of Final Fantasy III (VI) that I rented at least thirty times. The slippery slope to addiction started there, with Square Soft/Enix/Squeenix being my primary source of electronic narcotic. Then around 1995, NBC started showing Sailor Moon at dawn, followed by Ronin Warriors (Yoroiden Samurai Troopers). In addition to giving me a lifelong addiction to anime, I also spent the majority of my childhood thinking that turning 14 meant I would become a magical girl that would save the world. You can imagine my disappointment when my cat did not give me a pretty wand to spin around with.

Regardless, video games and anime still play a significant part in my life. I own a Playstation 3, a Nintendo Wii, a Nintendo DS, and a pretty good gaming PC. I am partial to RPGs, but I enjoy mindless violence from time to time. When I move back to Illinois, I will also have access to a Sony PSP and an XBox 360, but I cannot access them very well from 700 miles away, so you will have to bear with me. I also watch several anime series a year, both newer and older, as well as attending as many conventions as I can afford.

With my experience at anime and gaming conventions, as well as having dorky otaku friends, I have learned very quickly what an amazing, depraved, and amazingly depraved bunch we can be. The slimmest shred of news about our favorite series causes us to go into a ballistic frenzy of which there is no return until we get our grubby little fingers on our delicious digital orgasm. My task here at Lusipurr.com will be to provide you, our fanatic readers, with the news you so desperately want. And even if you do not want it, many of the stories about lonely losers can make you feel better about having slightly more of a life than they do.

Besides, you still have more of a life than any of us do. Pat yourselves on the back, readers, you deserve it. No you do not, but do it anyway, it pleases me.

15 Comments

  1. epyon01
    Posted 2010.01.25 at 00:47 | Permalink

    “I also spent the majority of my childhood thinking that turning 14 meant I would become a magical girl that would save the world. You can imagine my disappointment when my cat did not give me a pretty wand to spin around with.” <–

    Been there….er… not the magical girl thing, in my case I kept waiting for the giant robot with the hot chick add-on to come out of nowhere until I was 13 or so.

  2. Z. Bill
    Posted 2010.01.25 at 02:47 | Permalink

    “Jennifer” has 2 “n’s.” This is my evidence that you are not real, and, in fact, a robot sent here to trick us.

  3. epyon02
    Posted 2010.01.25 at 10:05 | Permalink

    “You can imagine my disappointment when my cat did not give me a pretty wand to spin around with.”

    My cat did.
    But the sailor costume itches and people start making fun of me whenever I walk around in it.

    You arent missing out on anything, really.
    Becoming a magical girl sucks, especially if you are born as a boy.

    ““Jennifer” has 2 “n’s.” This is my evidence that you are not real, and, in fact, a robot sent here to trick us.”

    I still have a theory that Ginia is a homunculus engineered by Shawn for the sole purpose of podcast moderation.
    This might be his second attempt !

  4. EmperorZorn
    Posted 2010.01.25 at 12:25 | Permalink

    Welcome aboard !

  5. Blitzmage/Volke
    Posted 2010.01.25 at 15:04 | Permalink

    HOLY SHIT!!! I live in maryland too!! that makes you ten times better than Eric Lane and Ginia COMBINED!!! (Until you go back to Chicago that is)

  6. Oyashiro
    Posted 2010.01.25 at 15:05 | Permalink

    Welcome aboard Biggs!

  7. EmperorZorn
    Posted 2010.01.25 at 16:25 | Permalink

    @Blitzmage:
    No, Ginia still rules supreme !
    Raise your fists and lets have a fanboy fight
    of epic proportions, like in the good old console wars.

  8. Lusipurr
    Posted 2010.01.25 at 18:11 | Permalink

    @Epyon: Obviously my skills in the creation of homunculi will improve over time. What do you take me for, a dunce?

    @Zorn/Blitz: PS3 0wns ur face lol

    @Oyashiro: All I need is someone named WEDGE, and then my evil plan will be complete!

  9. Jenifer
    Posted 2010.01.25 at 19:14 | Permalink

    @Lusipurr: Does this mean you’re already working on the prototype that will replace me? ;.; Is it because I don’t have realistic masturbatory fisting action?

  10. Lusipurr
    Posted 2010.01.25 at 19:47 | Permalink

    @Jenifer: We can neither confirm nor deny rumours and speculation.

  11. darthgibblet
    Posted 2010.01.25 at 19:57 | Permalink

    @Jenifer: Lusi didn’t want to tell you, but you’ll actually shut down Blade Runner-style in a few months. Don’t tell Ginia. Welcome aboard, regardless!

  12. breaka666
    Posted 2010.01.25 at 20:36 | Permalink

    welcome. I’d like to apologize in advance for Bup. you’ll see what I mean.

  13. Lane
    Posted 2010.01.26 at 12:59 | Permalink

    Holy shit. You’re one WoW addiction and a degree short of being a female version of me. Hint: don’t go to law school. Doctors make more than we do.

  14. Jenifer
    Posted 2010.01.26 at 19:07 | Permalink

    @Lane: I have a few friends in law school, they’ve already become soulless shells with dead eyes. And I’m currently taking a Tort Law class. All I have learned so far is that Palsgraf is apparently God.

  15. DanChiSao
    Posted 2010.01.29 at 11:10 | Permalink

    OMG It’s a girl! *cough* I mean umm…run while you still can.