MAP Episode 42: Nate’s Broken Headset

The Titular Device

The Megaphones Ahoy! Podcast
Produced 2009.12.06

Pushed to the brink by the tripartite efforts of Bup, Riddles, and Ethos, Lusipurr finally abandons ship midway, preferring a poo in the loo to the pointless antics of his usless podcast panel. (Next week, the panel will be replaced by a dog choir.)

OMG ANOTHER BONUS! — Are you a freak? If so, then you may want this latest musical misadventure on your phone as a ringtone. There’s probably something wrong with you, but I won’t judge. Instead, I’ll just give you a link to the audio travesty.

Dragon Age: Origins Contest Wrap-Up!
The time has come for us to end our Dragon Age: Origins readership drive contest. If you have obtained any references since we announced our contest, please comment below with links to the posts with the reference comments. We will then go over your links and verify the references. The person with the most verified references will be awarded a copy of Dragon Age: Origins for the platform of their choice! Now, is that a sweet deal or what?

UPDATE: Bumbling readers! Are you incapable of following a list of rules and regulations? Do you enjoy upsetting me and causing me distress? We are very disappointed. After looking over the various referrals (some linked below, others not), it appears none of the referrals came from registered WordPress accounts. That’s right: nought. Not one. Zero. Nada. Zilch. As this was a very explicit requirement of the rules, we simply cannot accept any entries which are not from WordPress accounts.

If were were to accept all of these referrals anyway — even if it is clear they come from validly referred people — then we would be putting at a disadvantage anyone who didn’t do this for the reason that they didn’t want to register, whilst simultaneously rewarding people who gained referrals by not registering. Obviously that would be unfair. Of course, it is also unfair to penalise the people who did get referrals by simply throwing out the results altogether.

THEREFORE, it has been ordained that on the following podcast a DRAWING will be held. For every valid referral a person has received, we will enter your name into the hat once. Hence, if you have three referrals, your name goes into the hat thrice. We will then draw one name from the hat on the podcast, and Nate Liles will announce the winner. This way your referrals still count, but they are no longer a guaranteed path to victory. Consider this your punishment for failing to adhere to the rules!

So, tune in on Monday and find out if you are a winner, or if — as is more likely — you are just a loser.

Really, I despair sometimes. I really do. This podcast should be called “Lusipurr’s Broken Heart”.

84 Comments

  1. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 00:17 | Permalink

    Prepare to be really, really disappointed.

  2. Ethos
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 00:19 | Permalink

    And actually this time.

    Also, heh heh heh. You said tit.

  3. Bup
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 00:24 | Permalink

    Best Podcast Ever.

  4. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 00:28 | Permalink

    No, Bup. No it is not.

  5. Ethos
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 00:50 | Permalink

    WOW this podcast is truly terrible.
    I’m at the light saber now, and it truly is just the worst pile of shit I’ve ever heard. And I’m a big fan of this podcast.

  6. Ethos
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 00:50 | Permalink

    Bah-ha ha haha, the ONE good thing and accurate thing I say the whole cast: “Is this even a podcast?”

  7. Ethos
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 00:52 | Permalink

    Wait, another good line.
    Nate: “I am a respectable man”

  8. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 01:37 | Permalink

    As I said in our IM: “It just goes to show that even the dream team can take a shit once in a while. Of course, this is not usually done ON THE PODCAST, but hey, another Lusipurr.com first!”

  9. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 12:50 | Permalink

    The result of this podcast is horrified silence.

    We told you so.

  10. kenjujuu
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 13:14 | Permalink

    …the ending song was beautiful.

  11. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 13:18 | Permalink

    Beautiful shit.

  12. kenjujuu
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 13:23 | Permalink

    …I request an mp3; I want it as my ringtone!

  13. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 13:27 | Permalink

    DONE.

  14. kenjujuu
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 13:28 | Permalink

    Huzzah!

  15. kenjujuu
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 13:32 | Permalink

    In answer to your question, yes. I probably am a freak. My download has finished, so judge away!

  16. Breaka666
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 13:48 | Permalink

    my friend chris
    http://lusipurr.com/2009/11/27/schwarzfreitag-posten-uber-fleisch-und-spiele/

    my friend PurplexPurp
    http://lusipurr.com/2009/11/19/editorial-things-that-make-you-go-awww/

    is it still me and SiliconNooB tied neck and neck? a coin toss seems too boring. SN, what online games do you have? I will fight you for DA:O! unless your good at Soul Calibur, in which case coins ftw.

  17. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 13:49 | Permalink

    Freak.

  18. Bup
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 13:54 | Permalink

    See, even GIRLS like this podcast!

  19. Syrek
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 13:59 | Permalink

    I cannot wait to listen to this episode of the podcast. But before I do, I just want to inform all the listeners and Lusipurr.com staff that I have successfully placed the The Lusipurrs Christmas Spectacular 2008 Trailer: Starring Nate Liles! on youtube. Now if Ethan would finally finish editing the true video. Guess that will never happen. :(

  20. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 13:59 | Permalink

    @Breaka: If there is a tie I will come up with a way to break it.

  21. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 14:00 | Permalink

    @Syrek: We’re actually working on that.

  22. breaka666
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 14:08 | Permalink

    wierd, my post didn’t show up before and I checked twice.

  23. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 14:17 | Permalink

    Breaka: The spam filter catches posts with links and refers them to moderation. Please stop repeatedly posting over and over again. The reason your post is not showing up is because it is referred to moderation. Repeatedly posting it will not make me moderate it more quickly. It will only IRRITATE ME VERY MUCH.

  24. kenjujuu
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 14:50 | Permalink

    @Nate: But this is the internet, meaning I must be a dude, right?

  25. Syrek
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 15:35 | Permalink

    This latest episode is practically neck in neck with last weeks episode for being the Best. Podcast. Ever. I must truly be a freak for enjoying this podcast but oh well. :) In regards sound file of Lusipurr.com’s rendition of the Pokemon theme, I think this is 10 times better than the original. This is a must have on my iPod.

  26. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 15:53 | Permalink

    @Syrek: There is something wrong with your brain.

  27. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 17:48 | Permalink

    @Breaka666: Neither of the two people you referenced actually created WordPress accounts to make those comments, as explicitly required in the rules for the contest.

  28. Ethos
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 18:45 | Permalink

    I TRULY do not believe that anybody enjoyed this podcast.

  29. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 18:50 | Permalink

    Neither do I. I think they are just being polite.

  30. Bup
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 18:53 | Permalink

    I actually listened and enjoyed it. I’m pretty much the best thing to happen to the Internet.

  31. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 19:04 | Permalink

    Underdog: Oh and as a shameless bonus for siliconn00b, he refered me to the site via a catfancy sig thread, so there’s 1 vote for him.

    Squalldane: I must admit that SiliconNoob’s sig on catfancy referred me to the site. Now with that said, time to get my recruit on. Let the games begin

  32. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 19:06 | Permalink

    @SN: Can you provide me links to those posts please? Much obliged!

  33. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 19:06 | Permalink

    Also @Bup: LIAR! YOU ARE A LIAR!

  34. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 19:11 | Permalink

    NATE LILES is the best thing to ever happen to the internet.

    @Lusi-BTW both of my refferals are from the MAP Episode 40 thread.

  35. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 19:18 | Permalink

    My mistake they were both from further back than that. Bare with me my internet is slow beyond belief.

  36. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 19:19 | Permalink
  37. darthgibblet
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 19:49 | Permalink

    @Lusipurr: I can assure you I’m not just being nice when I say this episode was awesome. I was constantly giggling like school girl the entire time. Honestly, I wouldn’t say it’s the best ever, but it is up near the top.

    @Riddles (or was it Ethos? can’t remember) – I’m a PS3-owning Transformers/JRPG fanatic, and White Knight doesn’t even appeal to me. I’m really not sure what they’re going for with it. Who knows, though, maybe it’ll surprise us all. I’m not holding my breath.

    @Kenjujuu: Quite right, there are no girls on the internet.

  38. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 20:06 | Permalink

    @SN: Neither Underdog nor Squalldane created WordPress accounts either!

    In fact, looking over the various comments, it doesn’t appear ANYONE created a wordpress account for referrals.

    WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW!?

  39. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 20:11 | Permalink

    OKAY
    WE HAVE A PLAN.
    Post updated.

  40. Syrek
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 23:14 | Permalink

    SN: I completly agree, Nate Lile is the best thing to ever happen to the internet.

    As for this latest entry in the MAP, I would like to say a few words that may ease or perhaps frieghten Lusipurr. Personally, as a loyal listener of the podcast since it’s humble beginnings, I can honestly say without being polite but being sincere, that the podcast has greatly evolved into one of the most entertaining and character driven podcast I have ever listened to. To be fair though, this latest installment was not the best but has definatly ranked itself among the greatest MAP has to offer. But do not be dismayed Lusipurr for while you may be bashing your head into the hall and are probably taking anti depressives after these last two episodes, within the chaos of things comes order. And so it will be with your podcast. But to be honest, out of all the podcasts I have listened to such as RPGamer, IGN’s Nintendo Live Chat and the Wiire, Lusipurr.com and MAP shell out quality podcasting and entertainment that cannot be rivialed. The sheer character that comes from each episode weather it be from Nates Liles, Eric James Jordan, Nate Liles or yourself Lusipurr, I always feel like I have spent my hour in the humorous and enjoyable company of some of the greatest internet icons ever to grace the webs.

    Call me crazy but I can safetly say for every member of this site that this podcast, regardless of it ups and downs, will be a monument amonst the various podcast across the webs and will always leave us smiling from beginning to end.

  41. Syrek
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 23:26 | Permalink

    But seriously, this episode certainly was not the worst but it wasn’t the greatest ever and you know what, that happens. Even if it may feel like that two weeks in a row. lol. Still I thought it was pretty good, very entertaining and it was nice to see the four classics back in action. :)Even if Oliver is an idiot and Ethan is annoying ;)

  42. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 23:26 | Permalink

    @Syrek: Now I know that our readers are dangerously insane.

    Thank you.

  43. Syrek
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 23:32 | Permalink

    Wow, I just noticed I had quite a few grammatical and spelling erros with my latest posts. Mind you, I was writing all of this on my Wii using the pointer because the computer is downloading something and cannot be touched until completed, but still. :(

    @Lusipurr: My apologizes. lol

  44. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 23:40 | Permalink

    @Syrek: You seriously typed that all out on your Wii using the pointer?

    Now that is dedication. Someone give this man a fucking medal.

  45. Oyashiro
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 23:43 | Permalink

    I didn’t get any referrals. :(

  46. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 23:44 | Permalink

    @Oyashiro: Are you sure? I thought you had one? Or maybe you were mentioning that SN referred you? Ah well, we’ll find out when we comb over posts in the next week.

  47. Bup
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 23:48 | Permalink

    Lusipurr, we should give Syrek the “Most Dedicated Reader” post for that! I didn’t know people liked us THAT much!

  48. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 23:50 | Permalink

    @Bup: Seriously. I’ll have to dig something up. I am ASTONISHED that someone would write all that with a Wiimote. Hell, I’m astonished anyone would write it at all, but to do so using the Wiimote — an instrument of suffering — is truly astonishing.

  49. Riddles
    Posted 2009.12.07 at 23:56 | Permalink

    @Syrek – you and all of our fans are the reason we do this every week!

    Thank you kindly for the compliments.

  50. Syrek
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 00:09 | Permalink

    @Lusipurr: I did indeed write all of that using my Wii remote. In fact, half way through writing all of that the internet connection broke and I had to start all over again. :( I got so fustrated with that experiance that as soon as I finished writing all that I turned off my Wii and began searching for a more reliable system like my DSi to post this message. That’s the last time I use the Wii’s crappy internet channel for posting messages. lol. To be perfectly honest, I too am astonished that I even decided to write all that using the Wii. Half the time I was typing the message, the Wiiremote kept jumping to a letter that was close to iy. For example, I was trying to type “Lusipurr” and instead I got “Lusupurr” due the Wii remotes AMAZING pointer controls.

  51. Syrek
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 00:12 | Permalink

    @Riddles: Your welcome.

  52. Ethos
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 01:51 | Permalink

    “We” do this every week?
    Riding the praise wagon, ‘eh Riddles? I never see you commenting on here other times!

  53. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 02:16 | Permalink

    He’s here almost every week these days. That’s more than can be said for CONSISTENTLY-ABSENT ETHAN PIPHER.

    Face it. Oliver loves us more. He’s moved on from you!

  54. Oyashiro
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 02:33 | Permalink

    @ Lusi – Really? Hmm… I must have missed it. But yeah, I credit SN with referring me here. :)

  55. Ethos
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 03:36 | Permalink

    I’ve guested a lot too! You need to stop recording in the middle of the day when I am at work!

  56. darthgibblet
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 07:57 | Permalink

    @Ethos: Excuses, excuses.

  57. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 08:41 | Permalink

    @Oliver- Just ride Ethan to Michigan.

    @Oliver- Washroom = bathroom = restroom = toilet = all the same , are you retarded?

    @Shawn- Punzer? Is that a Panzerfaust combined with a pun?

    @Everyone- Neither the Australian Government nor the Australian people are prudish enough to ban all these games, what people continually fail to realize is that this is a constitutional issue. Imagine for a moment that you had to get the government from each and every American state to sign off on on a law before it was able to pass, and then imagine that that law was treated with the the disinterest and ignorance that >50 year olds reserve for video games. The fact is that the rating system for the entire nation has been hijacked by the South Australian Attourney General, and the situation in which we find ourselves is grossly unrepresentative.

  58. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 08:43 | Permalink

    LOL @ all the bluster about this being the worst podcasst ever, it was nothing of the sort (though the Ethan phone call was a definite low point).

    Ethan was mistaken in claiming that his phone call was hilarious, but not as mistaken as you might think. In order for a piece of bufoonery to be funny you need a clown to act the fool (NATE LILES/Ethan) and a straight man to despair at the chaos wrought by them (Lusipurr), to serve as the punchline. Sadly Lusipurr chose to go and have a turd instead, and so the sequence was missing its most vital element, the punchline.

    Nevertheless a very funny podcast!

  59. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 10:02 | Permalink

    @Oyashiro- I humbley thank you from the bottom of my UNDERBOOBS!

    @Lusipurr- With Oyashiro’s blessing I think I may have just taken the lead again.

  60. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 10:40 | Permalink

    Ah, it would seem the nature of the competition has changed. Just as well, I had been wondering at the legitimacy of my referrals.

    -It also bares mentioning that I was first referred to Lusipurr.com by Oyashiro, Underdog and Squalldane.

  61. Ethos
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 12:52 | Permalink

    “@Oliver- Washroom = bathroom = restroom = toilet = all the same , are you retarded?”
    Thank you! It was the most desperate attempt to make fun of me yet. A lot of my Canadianisms I understand, but really?

  62. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 13:00 | Permalink

    @SN: KILL the South Australian Attorney General. PUT HIS HEAD ON A PIKE as a warning to future imbeciles.

  63. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 19:26 | Permalink

    Would that it were that easy …

  64. Bup
    Posted 2009.12.08 at 22:20 | Permalink

    Today is Tuesday!

  65. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.09 at 00:11 | Permalink

    Today is Tuesday!

  66. Oyashiro
    Posted 2009.12.09 at 00:43 | Permalink

    @SN – And they are glorious UNDERBOOBS!

  67. breaka666
    Posted 2009.12.09 at 14:25 | Permalink

    ah, well this sucks. my friends both made wordpress forum accounts at wordpress.org. I did that shit too. well, nobodies fault but my own.

    all’s well that ends well though. I saw Purp play the game and the combat really turned me off from it.

    enjoy your 60 bucks SN.

    GLORY BE TO UNDERBOOB! DEATH TO MICHAEL ATKINSON!

  68. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.09 at 14:40 | Permalink

    Well you never know! You’re still in with a chance for the drawing since *no one* actually logged into their WordPress to post their referrals.

  69. breaka666
    Posted 2009.12.09 at 15:33 | Permalink

    really? well if I still have a chance to get a free game I suppose the combat could grow on me…

  70. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.09 at 19:30 | Permalink

    -The combat is certainly enjoyable enough.

  71. darthgibblet
    Posted 2009.12.09 at 20:13 | Permalink

    I’d actually say I enjoy the combat in DA:O (PC version) the most out of any of the Bioware games I’ve played. Granted, I haven’t played any of their stuff before KoTOR, but it’s still really enjoyable. Apparently I really love micromanagement, because I’m pausing like a madman in most battles :D.

    @Bup: Today is Wednesday!

  72. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.09 at 20:55 | Permalink

    The combat in the console version is better than KOTOR, but worse than Jade Empire. It is also better than Mass Effect, but only because the controls in ME didn’t feel tight enough to feel natural or comfortable, if they are improved for ME2 than they might be better …

  73. darthgibblet
    Posted 2009.12.09 at 22:04 | Permalink

    I’m hoping they tighten up the combat in ME2. As much as I loved that game, it certainly wasn’t for the combat. It was stuck in that weird middle ground between “shooter” and “tactical RPG” where you couldn’t really play it like either, you know?

  74. breaka666
    Posted 2009.12.09 at 23:56 | Permalink

    “Lusipurr’s Broken Heart”… seems like any podcast with Bup on the panel could be called that…

    @SN & DG – admittedly, I didn’t see much of it but I did notice that you tell your character to attack and then he just goes (my friend thought that his button mashing was actually doing something). your only input is skills and I usually don’t like that. also, there are dice rolls in an action RPG which I hate like the KKK hates me. but as I said, it could grow on me. FFXII had auto-attack and that’s my favorite Final Fantasy in the main series.

    as an aside, did anyone else notice how much RPG speak is in the game? it feels odd to say this about an RPG but the descriptions of spells and skills were so technical that my friend only had a vague idea about what he was spending his skill points on.

  75. darthgibblet
    Posted 2009.12.10 at 01:30 | Permalink

    @Breaka: Then the combat might not be your thing, as it is pretty much what you’re describing (lots of queuing commands and background dice rolls). As far as the RPG-speak goes, I seem to remember being much more baffled by KoTOR’s spell/skill descriptions, but it’s entirely possible that, by this point, I’ve just descended so far into the geek caverns that I’m just used to phrases like “will save.” It seems like the KoTOR combat system was most strictly based on D&D combat, whereas Dragon Age is more of a variation (or maybe it’s based on 4th Edition? I haven’t played any of that, and probably won’t any time soon).

  76. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.10 at 21:23 | Permalink

    Kotor descriptions were actually more baffling, most of them were like: this skill will work if you roll XX while your oponent fails to roll XX as their saving throw … didn’t make much sense until I read that they were actually referring to virtual dice rolls, which gave me something to picture …

  77. squalldane
    Posted 2009.12.11 at 15:26 | Permalink

    Ahh, I seriously never caught the whole create a wordpress account >.<

    My friends have been listening to the 'casts, but I'm gonna kill them since they haven't posted crap — then again, now I can tell them to create wordpress accounts correctly before they do.

  78. viperluver
    Posted 2009.12.11 at 21:13 | Permalink

    This episode was very awkward,but somehow entertaining. Keep up the good work

  79. viperluver
    Posted 2009.12.11 at 21:14 | Permalink

    Also, Squall referred me

  80. Z. Bill
    Posted 2009.12.11 at 22:41 | Permalink

    I enjoyed the podcast, but now you seriously gotta retire the Pokemon song. Nate has sung that almost every podcast since the beginning of effing time. It’s like his default thing to do when he’s bored.

    It’s great that Shawn used to be this insane avante-garde iconoclast, but has now surrounded himself with dudes that make him the straight man. He is now the one being driven insane. I like that; it makes me laugh.

    It was better than all those other podcasts, ones far too fancy for my tastes. So keep on making podcasts and entertaining me for free while I provide nothing in return, dammit!

  81. Lusipurr
    Posted 2009.12.12 at 00:02 | Permalink

    @Z. Bill: I’ve been thinking about that myself lately. Once upon a time I was a funny guy, now I’m stuck playing referee for Larry, Curly, and Moe.

  82. SiliconNooB
    Posted 2009.12.12 at 04:18 | Permalink

    I’m affraid that if you want to go back to being the funny guy, you shall have to give up the position of host, and dredge up a Chris Privetere style character to become dismayed every time you launch into a bit of 19th C. poetry …

  83. kenjujuu
    Posted 2009.12.12 at 14:54 | Permalink

    Well, I’m all for it – back to the days of CatFancy….

  84. Bup
    Posted 2009.12.12 at 16:07 | Permalink

    Pokemon will never die…